depression at its finest

[narutofangirl]

I'm so depressed. I'm losing sleep. I haven't slept properly in weeks
My parents fight and keep me up at night. I wantes relief last night and took one of my moms pills. It was a clonazapan or however its spelled. It immediately made me feel relaxed and calm and I fell asleep within an hour. Idk why I'm posting this I guess its cause I feel guilty. Idk what to do with my life. MY parents don't even know about me seeing a therapist. I wanna reach out to someone. I don't wanna feel alone anymore. I wanna be happy. I'm depressed all the time. Its effecting my friendships and interfering with me and my boyfriend. I can't focus in school or at work. I don't wsnt to end up in the psyche ward again. I need answers
Help please

[Derryck]

First, tell me why you are depressed. :console:

[narutofangirl]

I am depresses because I feel worthless
I have bad self esteem. I hate my body. I feel fat
I cut myself. My parents make me feel unloved. My boyfriend is distancing himself away from me. I don't feel appreciated like I was a mistake. That I wasn't supposed to be born. My past haunts me. I just cant take it anymore

[Derryck]

I am depresses because I feel worthless
I have bad self esteem. I hate my body. I feel fat
I cut myself. My parents make me feel unloved. My boyfriend is distancing himself away from me. I don't feel appreciated like I was a mistake. That I wasn't supposed to be born. My past haunts me. I just cant take it anymore

Past? Is there something you want to tell me?

[narutofangirl]

I have a dark past involving an ex and I was raped
I also have been abuses by family.and I have a disability that makes me different from others

[Derryck]

I have a dark past involving an ex and I was raped
I also have been abuses by family.and I have a disability that makes me different from others

........ I would ask you to be more specific.......... but I can see details are classified. All I can promise is that you have me.

[narutofangirl]

Thankyou. Very much. I mean I'm willing to be more open but I don't really know you enough to share things with you if you understand me. Sorry if I'm coming off as rude or anything but I hope you understand

[StoppingTime]

Thankyou. Very much. I mean I'm willing to be more open but I don't really know you enough to share things with you if you understand me. Sorry if I'm coming off as rude or anything but I hope you understand

You're not being rude. You've no reason to feel obligated to tell anyone anything, especially any random person on here. Don't ever feel like you need to say something if you're not comfortable doing so, these things can certainly take time, and there's no reason to rush.

[Luminous]

Hi Skylar.
None of this is your fault. You did nothing wrong here, you just got thrown into this mess called life.. and some of us have it worse than others. Maybe you feel like you're on the outside looking in at everyone and everyone's happiness, but the grass is always greener on the other side. Nobody has a perfect life, if you see what I mean. Your parents should be arguing in a good way, quietly, and not fighting and keeping you up. It is inconsiderate of them and you can tell them that. Tell them they are keeping you up at night. Please don't take any more of your mother's medicine.. you will get addicted and it could ruin your life. While you still have control, take advantage of that. Don't resort to drugs. You are strong. You are powerful. This is YOUR life and you need to defend it. Don't back down, take control and keep your head high. You are a wonderful, beautiful, precious person. A human being - the most common thing in life is life, but at the same time each individual life is so rare, so special.
If at any time you need someone to talk to, I will always be here for you, as a friend.
Hannah

[narutofangirl]

thankyou hannah & StOPPPINg time
He was kind of making me feel uncomfortable.
I appreciate the kindness :)

[ElijahMouth]

Hey. Just remember that lots of people care about you, namely us, and they wouldn't want to see you hurting yourself. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like but if you think you can, just look them in the eye and tell them they keep you up at night, that you are depressed and need help. I know someone who started taking benzodiazepine and is now addicted. I would hate to see something like that happen to you.

Come talk to me any time. We're all here for you :)

[narutofangirl]

Thank you :)

[TheMightyBruce]

Hi Skylar. First off, I'm sorry you feel the way you do. You are not alone in this. As both a patient and student of depression (I'm pursuing a bachelors in Psychology), feel free to reach out to me whenever you need to.

The pill you took clonazepam, or trade name Klonopin, is a benzodiazepine drug used to treat a variety of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms. A bit of forewarning that benzodiazepines are less commonly prescribed now due to their highly addictive nature despite their ability to cause instant relief for your described symptoms.

Any psychologist you see about depression would probably recommend some combination of therapy and prescribed medication (usually SSRI's---which stand for Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor or Benzodiazepene).

The proposed biological explanation in psychology is that depressed individuals have lowered levels (and therefore activity) of both norepinephrine and serotonin. It is believed that serotonin has a regulatory effect on other neurotransmitters so it is the aim of such prescribed medication to increase the concentrations between the synapses of your neurons in your body.

There are a few different approaches in terms of therapy treatment each with different proposed explanations for why depression occurs in people. The most recent, popular therapy approach in dealing with depression is called cognitive behavioral therapy. In simple terms, its facilitating and reestablishing your thought process so that you can better adapt and recreate your perceptions of the situations around you. Depressed individuals are prone to negative automatic thought and attribute these negative perceptions to themselves (Ex: The feelings of worthlessness because of a certain action or event). Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy would aim to correct those instances of automatic thought.

Another therapy treatment is based off the belief that depressed individuals have far less "rewarding" experiences than usual or that the number of "rewarding" experiences they are used to has been significantly reduced. Under these therapy conditions, the therapist would help supply their patient with a number of activities which aim to increase the number of "rewarding" experiences.

---I hope the above information helps you out a bit on what to look for and what it aims to do. However, I totally digress. -_- My bad.

I may not know you at all Skylar and I do not expect you to immediately upon up to me (or anyone else for that matter). Here are a few things I wanted to say before I went text book mode:

- You aren't alone. You want to reach out to people...VT is the best place to do that. We are here for your support. We care about you and we love you.
- Understand that your parents are fighting because of disputes among themselves. You are not the reason why they are fighting. You are not a mistake and you were meant to be born because you are here and alive now.
- Think of your disability as a unique character trait. You feel yourself as "different" from others...but whats to set the standard for normal, anyway? Bottom line, there is no standard for normal. Humans as a species look to each other in cues for how to behave.
- Your boyfriend's distancing is creating a sense of alarm in yourself because you are fearing that you two will break up because of either how you look or how you have been acting (again...the false attribution of an event or fear of an event because of the faults in oneself). Your boyfriend probably just doesn't know how to react to the current situation. He's more of thinking...what can I do or what am I supposed to do to help?
-In terms of your dark past both relationship and family oriented, I want to tread lightly on this subject because I don't want you to have to recall any memories you don't want to relive. I know you are having difficulty getting past your troubled past. You have gained my sense of admiration in your strength through what you have been through. I completely agree with what Hannah has said, you are strong and you are powerful. Do not let the insecurities of others, however horrible they may have expressed it, create insecurities in yourself.

With all love and support,
Adam

P.s. Holy crap this comment got long.

[blackscorpion]

I'm so depressed. I'm losing sleep. I haven't slept properly in weeks
My parents fight and keep me up at night. I wantes relief last night and took one of my moms pills. It was a clonazapan or however its spelled. It immediately made me feel relaxed and calm and I fell asleep within an hour. Idk why I'm posting this I guess its cause I feel guilty. Idk what to do with my life. MY parents don't even know about me seeing a therapist. I wanna reach out to someone. I don't wanna feel alone anymore. I wanna be happy. I'm depressed all the time. Its effecting my friendships and interfering with me and my boyfriend. I can't focus in school or at work. I don't wsnt to end up in the psyche ward again. I need answers
Help please

Hey,
First and foremost, please don't take any of your mum's pills; you need to see a doctor.

Secondly, as you said earlier in the thread, you have a disability that makes you different; so do I (I've got aspergers). I know what you're going through, I'm basically stuck in the same situation now.

Just remember, if you ever need to speak, I'm here. Stay strong :') x

Connor x