Does anyone else ever feel like this?

[Hallie]

I have gotten to the point where I have run out of tears--I don't cry anymore. I used cry myself to sleep every night, but it seems as though I have cried myself out. And there's this weird feeling inside me--like a sort of pleasure--that I get from my sadness. It's like an addiction. I don't want help. It's like my depression is alive and it is the only constant--the only thing that has stayed with me all these years--the only the that has stood by me. It's my only friend. I don't understand it, and it isn't usually like this, but when it is, I just sink deeper and deeper into this darkness--it's like I'm drowning and I've been holding my breath for so long that my head is about to explode--but there's a sort of serenity in it--a kind of peace. It's a dark kind of tranquility--the kind you'd associate with the criminally insane. I know there is something seriously wrong with me, but I don't really care in the least. If anything, it soothes me. After all, feeling numb is better than feeling hurt.

[ElijahMouth]

It sounds like your depression is consuming you, which I don't even know if it is something that happens, but I suggest you talk to a 'professional' (for lack of a better term) about it.

[Dark Unicorn]

I have gotten to the point where I have run out of tears--I don't cry anymore. I used cry myself to sleep every night, but it seems as though I have cried myself out. And there's this weird feeling inside me--like a sort of pleasure--that I get from my sadness. It's like an addiction. I don't want help. It's like my depression is alive and it is the only constant--the only thing that has stayed with me all these years--the only the that has stood by me. It's my only friend. I don't understand it, and it isn't usually like this, but when it is, I just sink deeper and deeper into this darkness--it's like I'm drowning and I've been holding my breath for so long that my head is about to explode--but there's a sort of serenity in it--a kind of peace. It's a dark kind of tranquility--the kind you'd associate with the criminally insane. I know there is something seriously wrong with me, but I don't really care in the least. If anything, it soothes me. After all, feeling numb is better than feeling hurt.

It sounds to me like you have come to,in a sense,accept your depression as a part of you since you've had it so long.Believe me I feel like this sometimes,I sink so deep into my sadness and I just let go and I let all my sadness pour down upon me nonchalantly cause,what can I do but embrace it.It seems it will never leave me,it latches onto me like a demon.But it sucks and no one should have to live like this.I reckon "professional" help like ElijahMouth said could help.I can't promise that this will help but if you feel like it you could always offload on me.All the best.

[Fanta_Lover44]

Hey. I get that all the time, theres just nothing to cry about anymore, after crying about the same thing time over time you just get use to it and come immune to crying. You're not the only one. I don't cry over my problems or cry myself to sleep.