Is this considered cheating?

[kire]

My girlfriend and i have been dating for a while, and she's starting to act like she loves me less. She started hanging out with another guy after school. I don't like it, and i asked her to stop,but she refused to,and said i can't choose her friends for her. They spend hours after school alone, and they're always texting. He even gave her a necklace. She says they are just friends and that i have nothing to worry about. What should i do? Is this cheating? Should i dump her if she doesn't stop?

[Shannon.]

I don't think so. She's free to do what she wants, and hang out with who she wants. You can't control every aspect of her life. You should tone it down on the jealousy, since you have no proof whatsoever.

[Dark Unicorn]

It's hard to say.Sometimes when we feel threatened or whatever we tend to be biased and see things that aren't there.Maybe something's up but maybe there's nothing.I think maybe you could wait for actual,solid proof.

[Austins]

I don't think so. She's free to do what she wants, and hang out with who she wants. You can't control every aspect of her life. You should tone it down on the jealousy, since you have no proof whatsoever.

So if your boyfriend spent hours alone with some girl you would be okay with it?

[kire]

i guess i can try to trust her more, but it's getting a little ridiculous. I mean why am i her boyfriend if she spends all her time with someone else?

[Hollywood]

Well, I'll say this: If you can't trust her and you're always second guessing whether or not she's being faithful, then maybe you should end it. I'm not saying she's cheating, I have no clue, but if you have doubts maybe it's best to be on the safe side. Though, if it were me, some other guy giving my girl jewelry would raise some serious red flags.

Just my opinions.

[badthoughts]

What should i do? Is this cheating? Should i dump her if she doesn't stop?

Cliff notes:
- girlfriend hangs out with another guy after school
- she spends hours alone together with him
- she's always texting this other guy
- he bought her a gift

Doesn't look good. If she's not cheating on you right now, she will be soon. Cut your losses now and dump her.

Sounds harsh, I know, but that's just part of dating. Sometimes you dump, sometimes you get dumped. She's gonna dump you pretty soon for this other guy, there's no doubt about it, so you can either choose to be the windshield or the bug. Good luck.

[Blood]

Cliff notes:
- girlfriend hangs out with another guy after school
- she spends hours alone together with him
- she's always texting this other guy
- he bought her a gift

Doesn't look good. If she's not cheating on you right now, she will be soon. Cut your losses now and dump her.

Sounds harsh, I know, but that's just part of dating. Sometimes you dump, sometimes you get dumped. She's gonna dump you pretty soon for this other guy, there's no doubt about it, so you can either choose to be the windshield or the bug. Good luck.

This. Just end it; you don't want the drama. If she feels the need to spend time with another guy like this when she has a boyfriend, is she really worth your time?

[Saint of Sinners]

I agree. Hanging out with a guy after school, acceptable. However, hours alone and constant texting AND a necklace? Smells mighty suspicious.

How are they related? Did they know each other for very long? Were they always this close? Cause even though it's really suspicious, for all I know they could have been childhood buddies and always did treat each other like siblings. Find out more information before doing anything.

If they were long term/close friends, maybe you were worried about nothing. If not, I suggest you abort immediately.

[kire]

She was friends with him a few years ago, but they stopped talking. And they didn't talk at for about a year, until a few weeks ago, when they started talking again. What bothers me the most, is that whenever he's around, my girlfriend kind of ignores me. I've told her this, but she just says I'm overreacting.

[satarra3180]

I don't think so. She's free to do what she wants, and hang out with who she wants. You can't control every aspect of her life. You should tone it down on the jealousy, since you have no proof whatsoever.

I completely disagree. I would never make someone who I was with and cared about feel threatened in this way. If she wants to cross those types of boundaries with other guys then I think you both should just be single.

[ElijahMouth]

I get where you're coming from, and it seems like she could be cheating but you have no proof. I think the best thing you can do is be honest and trusting. Hopefully she'll see that and open up to you more.

[kire]

Even if she's not cheating, it still bothers me that she spends so much time with him. it makes me feel unwanted. Do you think this is normal? Or do you think i'm just being a little too jealous?

[Harley Quinn]

Even if she's not cheating, it still bothers me that she spends so much time with him. it makes me feel unwanted. Do you think this is normal? Or do you think i'm just being a little too jealous?

It's normal to feel unwanted yes, however, there does have to be a little bit of trust in this relationship. Sure, it's not ideal that she's hanging around with another dude but you can't control her life. You can tell her how much it is affecting you though. If she doesn't listen to reason then yes, I'd say you'd need to break up with her. You just want to spend time with her and that's totally acceptable. You may be a little jealous yes, but again, you need to tell her how it's affecting you and if the behaviour doesn't change in the slightest, consider moving on. Drama like this shouldn't need to be in your life. You have to do what's best for you and what makes you happy.

[kire]

Thanks everyone for all the help. I told my girlfriend how it makes me feel when she hangs out with that other guy, and i told her she would either have to choose me, or him. She refused to choose, we had a big argument about it, and in the end, i had to dump her. I hated having to dump her because i really love her, but i couldn't let myself be hurt all the time. Anyway, the day after we broke up, she started dating the other guy. Now i'm all depressed because i still have feelings for her, and i have to go to school, and watch her be with this other guy that i always knew she loved. I'm trying my best to get over her, but it's hard. I'm just happy i didn't waste anymore of my time with her. Thanks again for everyone that commented, everyone's opinion helped me make the right decision.

[Akasuki]

it's conpletely okay to be jealous over that. I would be too. it's not normal for just friends to hang out for hours and then constantly text, and buying her a necklace? come on.. that is not okay. especially if she blows you off when he's around. she digs him, it is obvious. I don't care what anyone says. when someone is so interested in you that they don't stop talking to you and insist on buying you gifts, that is a lot more than being friends. it isn't okay for you to tell her to stop talking to him though. I'd confront her and tell her that you are uncomfortable with how she acts so differently around him and to politely ask her to stop doing it. make sure you clarify that you're not asking her to dump him as a friend but to change how clingy she is towards him. see where that takes you. if she's hesitant and she puts up the "you can't control me" act, she's a lost cause and a cheater in the making. good luck.

edit: didn't know you replied. well,you did the right thing.

[gracie135]

I wouldn't say it's cheating, but it's getting close. It's not right. That's too much for just friends... I understand exactly how you feel, and it sucks. She should respect how you feel about it, and you have a right to be jealous. Read my question (is what he did wrong?), I'm in a similar situation.

[MoonMan]

I think you were being reasonable when you asked her to stop. The fact she went on a rant about you controlling her life and choosing her friends is a good sign she's not ready for a relationship. Suspicions were confirmed when she starts dating the dude literally a day after the break up. I have a feeling it's going to end the same way with necklace-bro in a little while. Don't worry about it, you did what was best for yourself.

[satarra3180]

Thanks everyone for all the help. I told my girlfriend how it makes me feel when she hangs out with that other guy, and i told her she would either have to choose me, or him. She refused to choose, we had a big argument about it, and in the end, i had to dump her. I hated having to dump her because i really love her, but i couldn't let myself be hurt all the time. Anyway, the day after we broke up, she started dating the other guy. Now i'm all depressed because i still have feelings for her, and i have to go to school, and watch her be with this other guy that i always knew she loved. I'm trying my best to get over her, but it's hard. I'm just happy i didn't waste anymore of my time with her. Thanks again for everyone that commented, everyone's opinion helped me make the right decision.

It may not seem like it but I think you showed some inner strength making that decision. It will hurt for awhile but in the end you will be better for it.

[kire]

Ok, thanks everyone. I'm already starting to feel better about dumping her. I realized that we weren't meant to be a couple and that's ok. I actually think my life will be a lot better without her. Thank you everyone for all the posts! I wouldn't have been able to make this decision without everyone's help.