Foster kid troubles

[shark_attack]

Okay guys, we have a 15 year old foster kid living with us at the moment and he like every other Forster kid shares a room with me :) my family have been fostering kids forever, but this guy is only just coming into foster care :) so i carry in life as normal I sleep naked, walk around the house naked when no ones home but this new kid wouldn't do any of that... He spoke to me the other day and asked if I would mind if he joined in :) I said of course I didn't and that it's his home and ever since then he has been doing the same sleeping naked and everything :)
Well here's the problem, we have a bunk bed. I have the double in the bottom and he has the single on top :) ahah the other night like late at night he climbed down from his bunk and got into my double with me... I didn't know he had done this until the morning when I woke up... Of course we were both naked :/ so I asked him why he did it and he said he was cold and then I said okay but don't do it again. Well he kept doing it for a while but waking up before me and getting back into his bed. So last night, I was pretending to sleep and I heard him come down from his bunk to mine and climb in... This kid then started stoking my Penis and stuff and tried to spoon me :/ so I turned around and was like WTF and he said he wanted to experiment... So i was really confused by this , like my mam and dad were out for the night and it was just us two at home :/ so he started jacking me off and the sucked me off and tbh it wasn't to bad like I'm not gay :/ and we experimented and stuff.. But now he wants to have anal sex and that is somewhere I'm not willing to go what do I say, what do I do, I'm just so confused by it all :/ everything I so awkward in the house :/ someone help me ..

[jacktvv]

Well first how old are you? Because you said he was 15 right?

[NeuroTiger]

Explain to him the reason why you'll deny having anal sex with him.
Make him understand.

[From Chris]

Okay guys, we have a 15 year old foster kid living with us at the moment and he like every other Forster kid shares a room with me :) my family have been fostering kids forever, but this guy is only just coming into foster care :) so i carry in life as normal I sleep naked, walk around the house naked when no ones home but this new kid wouldn't do any of that... He spoke to me the other day and asked if I would mind if he joined in :) I said of course I didn't and that it's his home and ever since then he has been doing the same sleeping naked and everything :)
Well here's the problem, we have a bunk bed. I have the double in the bottom and he has the single on top :) ahah the other night like late at night he climbed down from his bunk and got into my double with me... I didn't know he had done this until the morning when I woke up... Of course we were both naked :/ so I asked him why he did it and he said he was cold and then I said okay but don't do it again. Well he kept doing it for a while but waking up before me and getting back into his bed. So last night, I was pretending to sleep and I heard him come down from his bunk to mine and climb in... This kid then started stoking my Penis and stuff and tried to spoon me :/ so I turned around and was like WTF and he said he wanted to experiment... So i was really confused by this , like my mam and dad were out for the night and it was just us two at home :/ so he started jacking me off and the sucked me off and tbh it wasn't to bad like I'm not gay :/ and we experimented and stuff.. But now he wants to have anal sex and that is somewhere I'm not willing to go what do I say, what do I do, I'm just so confused by it all :/ everything I so awkward in the house :/ someone help me ..

Hi there! I just want to start off with saying that foster kids can come from a really troubled place, and that could be one of the factors for his behavior. I would say that he is probably doing this stuff because he hasn't learned any better and the time when you allowed him to join in with you on masturbation that he thought it was sort of a lead or something and then thought it was ok to do other things. I would suggest telling him you're not gay, nor interested in anal sex. However at first i was thinking he wanted to sleep with you because he felt lonely in a way, and was finally glad to have someone to be with, as like a sibling or brother. But it seems as though he wants to do more with you, and i also thought you letting him jerk you off and suck you was not the right thing to do because i'm sure it made him think he has the right to do that and if not more! I would just suggest laying down the facts that you're not gay and don't want to do that stuff. :) If you enjoy some of the things he does, then cut it there and tell him that and no more should be going on than that! Overall i would give the kid some sympathy seeing as he is a foster child and that must be hard on him. Hope this helps!

-From Chris

[deregisterme]

You will need to know what the boundaries are in your own mind. Let him know the limits. If you are happy to experiment by J/O and BJ, but not anal stuff, then let him know.

[hockeyfan]

If u don't wanna do anal then dont

[Collins1]

Feel free to tell him what the boundaries are. You don't have to take what he wants if you don't want it as well. He's just doing what most teenagers do/want to do, experiment, maybe he is just very curious!

[nklarke]

Tell him that anything he does he HAS to ask first.

[Uncut Joe]

You need to tell him where your boundaries are and that he's gotta have your consent on such things; however, you'll need to be very careful about how you tell him how you feel about this whole situation and what you expect in the future, because you don't want to emotionally hurt him. I would definitely encourage you to resolve this with him in a speedy manner, though, because the longer he goes on under the impression that it's okay the more difficult it will be for him to understand and take to heart what you tell him.

[fast8]

Yea just tell him u don't want to go that far just do what u want to do

[Jstr]

Hi there! I just want to start off with saying that foster kids can come from a really troubled place, and that could be one of the factors for his behavior. I would say that he is probably doing this stuff because he hasn't learned any better and the time when you allowed him to join in with you on masturbation that he thought it was sort of a lead or something and then thought it was ok to do other things. I would suggest telling him you're not gay, nor interested in anal sex. However at first i was thinking he wanted to sleep with you because he felt lonely in a way, and was finally glad to have someone to be with, as like a sibling or brother. But it seems as though he wants to do more with you, and i also thought you letting him jerk you off and suck you was not the right thing to do because i'm sure it made him think he has the right to do that and if not more! I would just suggest laying down the facts that you're not gay and don't want to do that stuff. :) If you enjoy some of the things he does, then cut it there and tell him that and no more should be going on than that! Overall i would give the kid some sympathy seeing as he is a foster child and that must be hard on him. Hope this helps!

-From Chris


Yes I agree what he is saying. Sit him down when you guys are alone and tell him the he cant be doing that in a normal household. tell him how your not gay and you would appreciate I if he kept his boundaries. he probably hasn't learned better. So be a teacher and teach him :)

[Luke91]

Like others have said. Tell him what is OK with you and what is not. You like to be naked. If you found some the experimenting fun then go for that. Tell him that you don't like anal and leave it at that.

[Second Chance]

You need to tell him where your boundaries are and that he's gotta have your consent on such things; however, you'll need to be very careful about how you tell him how you feel about this whole situation and what you expect in the future, because you don't want to emotionally hurt him. I would definitely encourage you to resolve this with him in a speedy manner, though, because the longer he goes on under the impression that it's okay the more difficult it will be for him to understand and take to heart what you tell him.

I agree with this post, and you have to set boundaries really quickly. I am sure this kid has a lot on his plate emotionally, and he probably is desperate for any sort of love and attention. This kid most likely interpreted your openness as something more, and he probably thinks you both can be more than friends. You have to tell this kid that you're all right with doing some things, but you have to draw the line where you're uncomfortable such as anal sex. You definitely have to start sleeping with some clothes on so that this kid gets the message.

This is a tough situation because on one side the kid wants love and attention, but on the other you have a right to your body. I guess you're going to have to separate love from sex for this guy, and you have to probably stop doing anything sexual with him including jacking off together so that he doesn't think you're sending him a message that you want to be his boyfriend. Especially if your house is a temporary stop for this guy, then try to be his friend and not his boyfriend considering that he is going through a lot not having a permanent home.

[cpkid09]

yeah like if u are uncomfortable with it just let him know

[happygolucky13]

Don't do it if you you're not comfortable with it.

[happygolucky13]

Hi there! I just want to start off with saying that foster kids can come from a really troubled place, and that could be one of the factors for his behavior. I would say that he is probably doing this stuff because he hasn't learned any better and the time when you allowed him to join in with you on masturbation that he thought it was sort of a lead or something and then thought it was ok to do other things. I would suggest telling him you're not gay, nor interested in anal sex. However at first i was thinking he wanted to sleep with you because he felt lonely in a way, and was finally glad to have someone to be with, as like a sibling or brother. But it seems as though he wants to do more with you, and i also thought you letting him jerk you off and suck you was not the right thing to do because i'm sure it made him think he has the right to do that and if not more! I would just suggest laying down the facts that you're not gay and don't want to do that stuff. :) If you enjoy some of the things he does, then cut it there and tell him that and no more should be going on than that! Overall i would give the kid some sympathy seeing as he is a foster child and that must be hard on him. Hope this helps!

-From Chris

That was beautiful!

[From Chris]

That was beautiful!

Oh haha thanks! :wub:

[VirtualGuy012]

just tell him that it was fun at first, but you aren't really comfortable going so far

[JIntrepid]

just tell him it was fun while it lasted