Big drama. Need advice!!

[Fiending_the_freedom]

didnt know exactly where this should go..

so
yesterday, was the worst day ever.
i used to be a lot more selfish, and lied a lot.
About a year ago, i slept with my best friends ex boyfriend.
she was dating another guy at this time,
but like this is the guy who caused her so much stress and drama, and took her virginity.

there was booze involved but not enough that its not my fault. but still i didnt think he was going to try and convince me to sleep with him, he was my friend. (this guy has a known reputation for sleeping with drunk girls)
I hid that secret for so long, because i was so embaressed and ashamed and scared she'd hate me and i know that was the wrong thing to do but what can i say? i chickened out. she even told me people were saying i slept with him and i said i didnt and she always stuck up for me.

She found out now. and i aplogized so much. im so stupid. i've regreted it from the second it happened. like acually it just adds on to the number of guys who have used the fact that im drunk and there not to there advantage. Now she HATES me.
she told me if i had told her from the start we could have gotten over this.
im so stupid. god i regret that every day and feel horrible about it.
now shes never going to forgive me and she was the BEST friend ive ever had.
like ive never had a friend thats as honest and judgmental in a good way. she helped me become a better person and points out when i di things that i shouldnt. yes it was the biggest mistake of my life and yes shes right i did only think about myself, but that was a year ago, i was a different person back then, a STUPID person. im so misrable i cried so much, because i know how big i skrewed up and as much as wish that she'd give me another chance, because she means more than anyone eles to me, i cant see it happening, what i did was the most heartless selfish stupid decion ever.

btw were im all the same classes and have all the same friends and she doesnt want me saying hi to her anymore

please someone givve me advice if you can.

[Hyper]

Just let her cool off, I can recall many times I've been told ''never'' and many times I've said ''never'' and later thought I can't throw it away because of that.

So let you're friend calm down it might take awhile.. There's no point in talking to her if she is still in rage from the momentum.. So wait a week or two then try to talk to her and see how it goes.

[thesphinx]

Well tough lesson I suppose, But I agree before you do anything else just let her cool off.
You may have to face the reality that she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, but Like Hyper said once she's cooled off she may rethink her decision.
It takes years to gain trust and minutes to lose it.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i know now that i really have to give her space, i've talked to my ex (she told him about it and they both yelled at me) and he thinks that eventually she will be my best firend again but first i have to change and stop lying all the time.
i'm going to change, but what am i suppose to do? we have ALL the same friends, and were in the same classes! im acually thinking about switching schools! (its no tthat hard or big of a deal to switch schools here)
i dont think i can go anywhere and see her and not be her friend thats too hard i'd rather not see her at all untill i've changed

[Fiending_the_freedom]

fuck ok so i have to further explain.
because she was mad and couldnt take it out on me ( i wasnt answering my phone)
she told my ex that i'm trying to hook up with this guy.
which i guess was true but i never though i would (i havnt) i mean i havnt even flirted with him yet.
so now hes bitching me out about that,
and i keep telling him
'I'M NOT TRYING TO FUCK HIM"

and then he copys and pastes what my best firend said to him:
"she kept saying i wanna tap that yo"
so now i'm fucked.
i mean i did say that but i was joking around.
and like
i want to say somethin gto her because she has no right (well she does because i'mk a bitch) to tell him about that guy and make me feel bad because she hooked up someone RIGHT after her break up.

fuck i'm so allone i dont know what to do

[thesphinx]

My advice would be I guess to take a few days or however long to regroup yourself and if you want to change you will just have to commit to it.

[byee]

To me, the big drama here is that you might have a drinking problem, that you do things when drunk that you later regret. That's a key variable in determining if your drinking behavior is out of control or not. Uh, oh.

Regardless of your thoughts about that, people make mistakes, even really 'dramatic' ones (although if it was with her ex, if the relationship was clearly over between them, then the mistake was maybe more a matter of your bad judgement in getting involved with him, rather than 'stealing' him or betraying her). When people make mistakes and the result is that it hurts the ones you care about, it's important to make amends. That means not just apologizing or explaining or laying low for a while, but show some real insight with her and explain what happened, and why, AND WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT. The emphasis there is especially important, because it indicates not only an awareness on your part, but also a willingness to remedy the mistake and make sure it doesn't happen again. That way, she can feel safer and more trusting that you won't hurt her again. And maybe in your case, that might mean an admission that if you didn't drink, this never would have happened, so you've decided to control your drinking.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

this was a year ago, and yea a year ago i did have a drinking problem, i went to a youth substance abuse place for a few weeks, i've learned hot to control myself.
we tlaked and we decided that this shouldnt destroy our fireendship and for on now were going to be hoenst with eavhother because she was lieing to me abotu something also.
thanks for everyones advice:)

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

Its great everything worked out! :) *hug*

[thesphinx]

That's awesome! :hug:

[Skittlez1313]

Happy that things worked for you :)

[Antares]

You know what? Humans do stupid things sometimes and that is because we are not perfect. I know you are sad because you have essentially lost a friend but you have to understand that everything happens for a reason. Who knows she may forgive you later on down the road but for now the only thing you can really do is wait and kinda make her notice that you are sad. You can apologize all you want and she will just get annoyed and push you away but if you take the more passive approach and just kinda be there but show her that you are regretting this she may come and try to make amends. Good lucK!