Made fun of until you can't take it anymore

[Alex_3869]

My problems with my father never seem to end. Now, I feel like he is just doing all of this stuff to piss me off or feel ashamed at myself. Today, after my family and I were dropping off my mom at the airport because she had to go somewhere, I plugged my phone into the car, so I could listen to my new favorite song, ONE time.

So I plug it in, and the song starts playing. (btw, this song is not inappropriate at all, it is clean, and no suggestive themes) its basically a (pop) love song. So the second the music starts playing, he goes, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE LISTENING TO A THOUSAND LADY GAGA SONGS BEFORE WE GET HOME" So i just explain to him that I was only planning on listening to one song, and he said fine. So when the chorus came, i started dancing, just like I do with every song I am in love with when I am in the car.

So when I started to dance, my sister and my dad both started laughing at me and rolling their eyes like I was some kind of freak, and all I was doing was dancing. So, I just unplug the phone from the car and plug my headphones in, and I stop dancing. From underneath my headphones, I hear him say, "God, not all of us need to worship her."

So then I started to cry, but of course I didn't let them see me, I just kept my face locked onto the window. I don't understand why he doesn't realize how much he hurts me, when he criticizes me for who I idolize, what kind of music I listen to, or how I express myself.

So we went to Breakfast, and everything was jim dandy up until about 20 minutes ago. I was playing the same exact song, IN MY ROOM, with my DOOR CLOSED, and singing along to it.

Guess who comes busting down my door the second he hears me singing. So yeah, He came in and told me to turn it off and stop singing because everyone in the whole neighborhood could hear it, and how none of them liked or wanted to hear any of that sh*t. So I just unplugged my phone again, and he walked out. Then two minutes later he walked back in and said that he never said to turn it completely off. But he ruined the night for me.

Tonight is supposed to be one of the happiest days in a while because my favorite artist is releasing her new album at midnight, and I was PUMPED as I am a super mega fan. But now, as I am writing this, tears rolling down my face, I don't want... I don't know, all I can say is that I thought about suicide today, because if he treats me badly because of the music I like, how will he deal with my sexuality.

Any advice you could give me would help me in more amounts than you will ever know. Each time I get a supportive reply, I think, yes there is someone who cares about me out there. So I thank you in advance.

[conniption]

I think you're overreacting. He might not like your music playing so loudly, he could have gone about it a different way, but I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. Chill out, it's only music.

[Mob Boss]

Mirman speaks words of seemingly apathetic wisdom. I could quote her with just a "^this", but then I'd be a "^this" girl. An unopinionated, conventional "^this" girl. Both fortunately and unfortunately for you -- most likely the latter -- I'm not a "^this" girl, so I'll put in my two cents and await a stale bubblegum ball to pop out at me.


I think you're, quite frankly, blowing things out of proportion. However, I think the majority of children do this when it comes to our not-for-a-short-rental parentals. I know I do this. We innumerably magnify our parents' actions and words towards us until we only picture them as the devil himself, complete with horns, fiery scarlet skin, a beautifully crafted 6-pack and a forked tongue and a tail. But if you step back and read over what you said once more I think you'll find your father surprisingly is not Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, the chief of the demons, or whatever it is you'd like to call him. Let's break this down:

1) I have a feeling them looking at you like a freak wasn't what they were doing in the slightest. This isn't me accusing you of lying, rather of augmenting the actual seriousness of the situation. They could have easily been thinking, "that silly Pilot with his silly dance moves to his silly music" and you've just misconstrued their little exchange and laughter. I'm sorry it upset you to that extent. Next time they upset you say, "Hey, stop being a meaner. It's seriously upsetting me." They may not understand how you took it nor that it hurt you.

2) I don't see that as him criticizing your taste. Everyone has different taste in music, he may find Lady Gaga as an annoyance end of. That wasn't criticism, rather him expressing his dislike for her and her music not you.

3) He's a dad. The majority of dad's don't seem to be aware of the sensitivities of their children. My dad is the same. However, this by no means equates to him not loving you. It purely means he doesn't realize the impact his words and actions have on you. Mention it to him the next time his words cut deep, help him develop an awareness.

4) None of what you've mentioned makes me believe he'll be unaccepting of you or your sexuality. He doesn't like your music and handles things not necessarily in the best way, it's life. Build a tougher skin, communicate with him the next time he hurts you, or continue holding it in.. Those are your options. In life you'll need option A. Not everyone you met is going to be nice and placid. Life, and the people in our lives, throws punches; you can either roll with them or find yourself seriously banged up.

*chews stale bubblegum ball and blinks*

[Living For Love]

I agree with the users above, it's just music. My mum is always criticizing the fact that I also really like to hear music when I'm in the car, especially when I'm feeling down and upset, and she hates the fact that I really love Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj songs because she thinks I can get "corrupted" by their music :D. Nonsense, but what can I do? Try to hear your music when your dad isn't around, and don't keep telling them you love their music and stuff, just keep your interests to yourself.

[NeuroTiger]

Respect others if you want to earn respect.
It's simple as that: your dad just doesn't like lady gaga's songs; they are not his taste.
It will be so stupid to commit suicide on a derisory issue as this one...your life is certainly worth much more!
You love lady gaga, that's fine. Idolising her? That, I opine, is a bit too much.

[Luminous]

Mirman speaks words of seemingly apathetic wisdom. I could quote her with just a "^this", but then I'd be a "^this" girl. An unopinionated, conventional "^this" girl. Both fortunately and unfortunately for you -- most likely the latter -- I'm not a "^this" girl, so I'll put in my two cents and await a stale bubblegum ball to pop out at me.


I think you're, quite frankly, blowing things out of proportion. However, I think the majority of children do this when it comes to our not-for-a-short-rental parentals. I know I do this. We innumerably magnify our parents' actions and words towards us until we only picture them as the devil himself, complete with horns, fiery scarlet skin, a beautifully crafted 6-pack and a forked tongue and a tail. But if you step back and read over what you said once more I think you'll find your father surprisingly is not Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, the chief of the demons, or whatever it is you'd like to call him. Let's break this down:

1) I have a feeling them looking at you like a freak wasn't what they were doing in the slightest. This isn't me accusing you of lying, rather of augmenting the actual seriousness of the situation. They could have easily been thinking, "that silly Pilot with his silly dance moves to his silly music" and you've just misconstrued their little exchange and laughter. I'm sorry it upset you to that extent. Next time they upset you say, "Hey, stop being a meaner. It's seriously upsetting me." They may not understand how you took it nor that it hurt you.

2) I don't see that as him criticizing your taste. Everyone has different taste in music, he may find Lady Gaga as an annoyance end of. That wasn't criticism, rather him expressing his dislike for her and her music not you.

3) He's a dad. The majority of dad's don't seem to be aware of the sensitivities of their children. My dad is the same. However, this by no means equates to him not loving you. It purely means he doesn't realize the impact his words and actions have on you. Mention it to him the next time his words cut deep, help him develop an awareness.

4) None of what you've mentioned makes me believe he'll be unaccepting of you or your sexuality. He doesn't like your music and handles things not necessarily in the best way, it's life. Build a tougher skin, communicate with him the next time he hurts you, or continue holding it in.. Those are your options. In life you'll need option A. Not everyone you met is going to be nice and placid. Life, and the people in our lives, throws punches; you can either roll with them or find yourself seriously banged up.

*chews stale bubblegum ball and blinks*
I'm going to be an "An unopinionated, conventional "^this" girl." and say ^this. But it's because I truly agree with what you said and I doubt I could have said it better. You don't come off as offensive or sharp, just kindly telling the truth. kk?? awesome

[Desuetude]

I don't think what your dad not liking the music you're into will affect him accepting your sexuality. I mean my dad is always shouting at me about the music I'm into and he doesn't like it played loud or while he's around. That's just parents. Try not to be so hard on yourself about it or maybe bring it up with him. Try and tell him how you feel when he makes fun of the person you idolise. He's your dad so he should be supportive but I don't think parents know how much music means so some of us. I got in the car once without my iPod and asked dad if I could go back in and get it, when he said no I replied with "but it's like not having a part of me with me, I need it". He didn't realise how much I need music with me at all times. Maybe your dad doesn't realise what your music means to you either.

Suicide isn't the answer and you know that. From the sign many celebrities from the music I listen to are holding up "Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the chance of it ever getting better". If you need reassurance watch some of the coming out videos on Youtube, MarkE Miller is a good one. Even though I'm straight it makes me so happy to hear about all the accepting parents and just think, one day when you're ready that could be your dad accepting you for the person that you really are. Please don't let this little aspect of your life that he 'doesn't like' hold you back from telling him.

[Pseudogeek]

I like pretty much all music... To put it in a way that makes a little more sense, EVERYONE has a favorite song on my phone, and most of them like most of them. And there are 7 people in my family.

Nonetheless, when I went through my bubblegum pop phase, no one in my family liked it. My dad would make excuses to turn it off, my brother would groan and make fun of it the whole time, and my mom would mock the singers (which I found hilarious.)

The point is, music taste is subjective. So much. If your dad doesn't like your music, he could keep quiet, but he could also throw your phone or CDs out the window. Being overly critical is much a parent thing.

Or is it that he and/or others tease you so much that this was just the breaking point?

[othees]

Maybe he does realize you're sensitive and wants to help you for the future?