I'm 18...And shes 14..

[ThatOneKidMongo]

I need help.. Ive finally found someone that makes me really happy and has helped me feel better this past week. We met on this silly facebook type app, started talking, and got a lot of feelings for each other, and we live in the same city so it could work. We've been talking for a week and it feels like forever already. On the site, it says she was 16, but she never told me herself. I asked a few times and she avoided it. Finally with are relationship stronger i asked, and she told me shes 14.. Me being 18, i know you guys see the problem already.. It would of been hard enough to try to date if she was just 16, and i even told myself anyone under 16 is too young..But i already have so much feelings for her, and im so happy shes in my life.. I would to make something out of it.

My question is, have any of you dealt with anything like this? Just a big age difference. Me being 18 with the laws and shit is just going to make things hard, but i dont want to give up on her. Shes made me so happy is just a week.. :(

[Swagging god]

I know exactly how you feel man, I was in this situation a year ago...... I met her online and she said she was 17; however, after a few weeks of dating and me being a little suspicious about some other things not related to her age, she confessed she wasn't 17 she was really 11, I was as scared as you, being 18 at the time. The relationship lasted a month and then we were just friends for 20 days, then got back together for another month, both times she dumped me.

My advice to you is be honest with her parents, and depending on where you live don't do anything sexual until she is of the age of sexual consent for your state.

see this link
http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/statutory-rape-the-age-of-consent.html

[kitten13]

let it go. move on.

kim

[ClaireS]

That was never a problem to me because the oldest person I have been with is 17.

You're pretty sure that you like her, but are you sure she likes you too? Have you meet her in person?

If you love each other, the age won't be a problem. No one's gonna call the cops or something.

[Gustagonzalez12]

Thats a big issue bro. The thing is that you will be in another stuff, been a 18 yo guy is not the same as been 14, school is not like the uni, the things you'll do in the next coming years are very different than the things she will do. Your goals will be different, your lifestyle, your independence and of course, your responsibilities. You will socialize in very different environments and with very different people. Is only a week, let it go. Imagine that this in a couple of years, you with 21 thinking about future with work and other stuff and she still in school.

[teen.jpg]

That's a pretty big gap ...

[Mob Boss]

Actually, yeah, the cops could be called -- depending on your place of residence -- were you two to begin a physical, sexual relationship together as that is possibly breaking laws. I'm just give it to you straight:
I believe that cliche saying about love having no age, or whatever, to a degree. The ages between 10-18 are vital years of development, and with each year comes an array of changes not solely physically, but mentally as well. I fully comprehend that 4 years seems like nothing, but 4 years whilst in these developmental years is.....something. 2, fine, but 4? That is far too steep in my opinion. Now I'm awaiting someone to bring up individual maturity level. But let's highlight something for a second: She lied about her age. That seems very immature to me and then she didn't even reveal such until you were "closer"? Then we have to factor in you two meeting on an app. You said you two lived in the same city, but have you yet to actually meet? This spells out "disaster" to me. I understand you have feelings for her -- which I somewhat accredit to the fact that I think this relationship is entirely in the electronic realm, making it seem perfect as no realistic situations are taking place -- but I think unless you end it now things will get drastically worse and more painful.

Sorry for shooting your horse, but you deserve the truth.

[Dundun99]

theres your answer, if she makes u happy then there is no problem, your trust and mutual respect with her will make a big difference in that relationship but if you like her and she likes you and your both willing to give it a go then there is no problem

[Swagging god]

theres your answer, if she makes u happy then there is no problem, your trust and mutual respect with her will make a big difference in that relationship but if you like her and she likes you and your both willing to give it a go then there is no problem

I agree just know her parent's view and have fun then when the relationship and she is mature ask if you two are ready for that " step".

[johndoe1112]

just say for legal reason we can still talk but we can't meet til your 16 then when you turn that age we can legally have a relationship til then we can't

[Swagging god]

just say for legal reason we can still talk but we can't meet til your 16 then when you turn that age we can legally have a relationship til then we can't

Good idea

[Tarannosaurus]

The age gap is just about acceptable, I know plenty of people who've worked relationships where the guy is 18 and the girl is 14. However, they usually didn't last long, a year at most. The age difference is fine, just don't do anything illegal. And remember at 14 she is likely to be much less experienced than you so make sure you don't make her feel pressured to do anything.

[bored4evah]

Its only been a week and it'll be illegal to do anything sexual, and im sure you wouldn't wanna cheat on her just to satisfy your needs, would you?

[badthoughts]

There's been an array of advice given in this thread, some of it good, some of it bad.

Let's make a quick rundown then conclude with some words of wisdom.


.
Good.

.
Bad.

.
Good.

.
Excellent.

.
Bad, very bad.

.
Bad.

.
Bad.


4 years whilst in these developmental years is.....
....like twenty-eight in dog years. It's deplorable.

Here's the OP's fortune-cookie fortune for the day: He who keeps relationship with 14 yr old gets parole officer.

She's cool, I get it. She's funny, I get it. She's cute, I get it. She's 14...stop, drop, and roll and get out of there.

[Blood]

Nah man. Just don't even go there. It has the potential to cause so many fucking problems. Find someone around your age and play it safe.

Age is just a number, and prison is just a room.

[highschool]

she's a kid, it'll just be drama after drama

[Melodic]

Yeah it's a pretty big age difference. I'll put here, if you two are in two different worlds (Just saying some 14 year olds girls can be immature and not ready, says the 15 year old), her parent's don't like her dating guys 18 and over, or you two know people who would bring the law in the relationship, I'm gonna say it's not gonna end well. But also age doesn't determine the relationship, the relationship determines the relationship.

[TheStyleGuy]

no, just no. IM sorry about it but it cant happen

[Hundred Spirited God]

break up with her,i know it doesnt seem like the right thing to do,but it is,you have to do bad things for good things to come out of it,if she feels heart broken,tell her that everythings going to be okay and she'll find another boyfriend the same age as her,you'll also find another girlfriend almost the same age as you,try this and i bet what i said will be true :)

[schoolgirlz]

If she turns 15 this year its okay if not it a NO NO! She is to young! Your probably in college to if your 18.

[TheJoseph]

It might be a little weird though. You should move on. Who knows what else she could be hiding

[Camazotz]

I need help.. Ive finally found someone that makes me really happy and has helped me feel better this past week. We met on this silly facebook type app, started talking, and got a lot of feelings for each other, and we live in the same city so it could work. We've been talking for a week and it feels like forever already. On the site, it says she was 16, but she never told me herself. I asked a few times and she avoided it. Finally with are relationship stronger i asked, and she told me shes 14.. Me being 18, i know you guys see the problem already.. It would of been hard enough to try to date if she was just 16, and i even told myself anyone under 16 is too young..But i already have so much feelings for her, and im so happy shes in my life.. I would to make something out of it.

My question is, have any of you dealt with anything like this? Just a big age difference. Me being 18 with the laws and shit is just going to make things hard, but i dont want to give up on her. Shes made me so happy is just a week.. :(

You just can't (legally) have sexual relations with her, which doesn't equate to dating. People automatically assume that it's perverted and illegal, but it's perfectly legal to date her- just not sex. However, I still don't think you should date her. The mental maturity difference is just too much. Girls her age are focused on different things and have different goals than an 18 year old guy. You're at a college age and she's barely beginning high-school. If it's only been a week of knowing her, what you're feeling is just infatuation- there are plenty of other girls (your age) that can give you feelings of care and compassion.

I met her online and she said she was 17; however, after a few weeks of dating and me being a little suspicious about some other things not related to her age, she confessed she wasn't 17 she was really 11...

Umm... So could you not see that she was 11? Or was this relationship purely online?

[Swagging god]

I met her online however; we texted back n forth for the entire relationship. My only tip off that something was amiss(which I thought about but dismissed after a few days) was a conflict in a body attribute in both pictures....soon after that she dropped the bomb on me saying she wasn't 17, she was 11. I've learned my lesson. See my posts titled " Picture Delimna" and " 3 Strikes, She's Out?", to see more info as to why we r not together anymore.