My Parents and Religon

[SubCulture]

Right now, I'm religiously confused. Have been for two years. Ever since I bought a Bible for some divine advice, opened up up, and read it. To keep it short, whenever I read the Bible I find something that I find morally wrong. And I've lost my faith because of that.

I guess I'm an atheist, but I don't want to call myself anything yet. I just want to step away from religion as a whole and just think about it until my mind is clear. But I can't.

I still go along with it. I have to. I'm on track to be Jesus in the next reenactment of the Passion. I'm looked up to in Youth Group. I go on the retreat every year. On the outside, I'm a perfectly normal Catholic.

But I think it's time to tell my parents. They won't kick me out or anything, but it could go either really good or really bad.

I remember last year when I they found out was researching Paganism, they flipped out. I didn't even want to become a Pagan, I was just researching it. Like I've done with every other major religion, and they were okay with that. Why not Paganism? That pisses me off.

So, they won't react well. I know that for sure. They aren't even that religious. We don't go to Sunday mass, we don't pray,and neither of them have read the Bible. Well, we do have this book we read out of at dinner, but that's it.

Best case scenario: My parents accept it and understand in time. I get to read atheist literature. I don't have to lie to anyone anymore. The weight will be lifted off my shoulders.

Worst case scenario: Parents blow up. They look through my phone and computer (which I find morally wrong.) I go back to public school. Members of extended family cut me out of their lives. More church and such.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Please give me advice.

[Left Now]

Right now, I'm religiously confused. Have been for two years. Ever since I bought a Bible for some divine advice, opened up up, and read it. To keep it short, whenever I read the Bible I find something that I find morally wrong. And I've lost my faith because of that.

I guess I'm an atheist, but I don't want to call myself anything yet. I just want to step away from religion as a whole and just think about it until my mind is clear. But I can't.

I still go along with it. I have to. I'm on track to be Jesus in the next reenactment of the Passion. I'm looked up to in Youth Group. I go on the retreat every year. On the outside, I'm a perfectly normal Catholic.

But I think it's time to tell my parents. They won't kick me out or anything, but it could go either really good or really bad.

I remember last year when I they found out was researching Paganism, they flipped out. I didn't even want to become a Pagan, I was just researching it. Like I've done with every other major religion, and they were okay with that. Why not Paganism? That pisses me off.

So, they won't react well. I know that for sure. They aren't even that religious. We don't go to Sunday mass, we don't pray,and neither of them have read the Bible. Well, we do have this book we read out of at dinner, but that's it.

Best case scenario: My parents accept it and understand in time. I get to read atheist literature. I don't have to lie to anyone anymore. The weight will be lifted off my shoulders.

Worst case scenario: Parents blow up. They look through my phone and computer (which I find morally wrong.) I go back to public school. Members of extended family cut me out of their lives. More church and such.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Please give me advice.


Why do you think that you are an atheist?Is there any wrong principal or information in Bible which has caused you to lose your faith in Christianity ?

[SubCulture]

I think I'm an atheist because I don't believe in God.

A few passages I have problems with are Genesis 29-30 (There's no story name for this one.), the Ten Plagues, the Story of Job, Noah's Ark, and how Jesus commands that you love him more than your family.

[Left Now]

I think I'm an atheist because I don't believe in God.

A few passages I have problems with are Genesis 29-30 (There's no story name for this one.), the Ten Plagues, the Story of Job, Noah's Ark, and how Jesus commands that you love him more than your family.

Then maybe the problem is with the book!You know I cannot comment on your Bible because I am a Muslim myself,but if you tell me which Bible you have,then maybe I will be able to help you with it.

However,if you do not believe in it,then just leave it;Because when sth is unknown and confusing for you,you'd better to leave it alone.This is what all religions say.

[Stronk Serb]

Flipping out over you researching Paganism? Gosh that's harsh. If they flip out in this case and force you to go to church, tell them that it will not restore your faith, and that you could be doing more productive things instead.

[Left Now]

Flipping out over you researching Paganism? Gosh that's harsh. If they flip out in this case and force you to go to church, tell them that it will not restore your faith, and that you could be doing more productive things instead.

You have to research,then choose.That's right ha?This is why I still remain a Muslim.First I researched about it,then accepted it.

[Living For Love]

As a Lutheran Christian, I could try to explain to you the meaning of all those passages, but, as you said, if you don't believe in God the way it is shown in the Bible, then yes, you're an atheist. You're not an atheist if you believe in God but if you disagree with some things stated in the Bible at the same time. If you still think you're a bit confused about whole this, it's better if you consider yourself agnostic.

Now, about your problem with your family, it might be really difficult for them to accept the fact that you could possibly be an atheist because, as you know, ""atheists go to Hell"" and, although you don't believe it, they do. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, what matters is that your parents do believe in that, and they'll do everything to make you a Christian again. I don't know how old you are, but if you think you're mature enough to make that decision, I think it's better if you just sit with them and have a serious talk.

This might seem stupid but why do you want to tell them you're an atheist anyway? Can't you just go to church and do everything as a normal Catholic, although in fact you don't really identify yourself with the Christian lifestyle? I immagine it can be hard for you to pretend you're someone you're not, but if you think that telling your parents you're an atheist will make your life really difficult, I don't think it's worth the risk. You need to realise that, although you're their son and they love you regardless of your decisions, they won't never see you the same way as before.

[SubCulture]

An explanation would be nice, actually.

I'm an atheist in the fact that I don't believe in god at the moment, but I would say a better label is "confused" or "undecided". I also like "observer", as in I'm looking at all religions without any bias and deciding which is for me.

I want to talk to them about it because I don't want to lie anymore. It hurts me whenever people say how they like how strong in my faith I am. I've dealt with it for two years, and I'm not sure how much longer I can do it.

[Stronk Serb]

You have to research,then choose.That's right ha?This is why I still remain a Muslim.First I researched about it,then accepted it.

Yeah. How can you talk about other religions without knowing anything about them. To the OP: They can't force you to go to church. It is against the law if they do. After reading parts of the Bible, I too lost my faith, if God made those laws, I don't want to follow them and worship such a god.

[Kid0809]

An explanation would be nice, actually.

I'm an atheist in the fact that I don't believe in god at the moment, but I would say a better label is "confused" or "undecided". I also like "observer", as in I'm looking at all religions without any bias and deciding which is for me.

I want to talk to them about it because I don't want to lie anymore. It hurts me whenever people say how they like how strong in my faith I am. I've dealt with it for two years, and I'm not sure how much longer I can do it.
May I ask why don't you believe? I'm also catholic

[SubCulture]

I don't believe because I read the Bible and didn't like what I found. Well, I found a couple fantastic sections, Like the Book of Ecclesiastics, but nothing else other than that.

Oh, and the Bible I usually use is the HCSB, for anyone wondering.

[Kid0809]

I see what your saying. If it's not for you then that's fine, and your parents should be able accept that

[Melodic]

Yeah, being a teenager is defiantly tough as you're trying to decide who you are or what you believe. I wouldn't tell your parents anything yet. I'd suggest looking into other religions, even if you have to go to the Local Library to read about them. If you don't believe in any of the religions or you find one you believe in, I'd go tell your parents calmly and rationally just because they'll soon find out anyways. I get where you're coming from though, if I was raised by any others in my family I'd probably have beliefs and opinions shoved down my throat.

[SubCulture]

Yeah, being a teenager is defiantly tough as you're trying to decide who you are or what you believe. I wouldn't tell your parents anything yet. I'd suggest looking into other religions, even if you have to go to the Local Library to read about them. If you don't believe in any of the religions or you find one you believe in, I'd go tell your parents calmly and rationally just because they'll soon find out anyways. I get where you're coming from though, if I was raised by any others in my family I'd probably have beliefs and opinions shoved down my throat.

Yeah, that's a good idea. But, I already know the basics of of every major religion. Well, except for Non-theism and various Christian sects. My local library does have a small selection of atheist books, so
that's a good place to start.

[NeuroTiger]

You have to research,then choose.That's right ha?This is why I still remain a Muslim.First I researched about it,then accepted it.

Same here. :)
I certainly do respect all religion.

Islam is what appeals to me the most.

[Gigablue]

As an atheist raised in a non religious family, I can't really relate to your situation, but I'll try to give the best advice I can.

You have two options. You can either talk to them, or remain silent. If you talk to them, you need to be prepared for the worst. Think about what your parents are reasonably capable of doing, and prepare for that.

Also, plan what you want to say. There is a big difference between saying that you have some doubts about religion, and saying that you are an atheist. Your parents will react differently based on what you say.

Give them some time to process what you say, since it will be a big shock. Don't try to change their minds. The time for more intense discussion may come later, but don't get into a debate.

You can also choose not to tell them. If you think that their reaction would be worse than what you can handle, don't tell them. At the very least, wait until you are living independently before telling them.

Don't do anything rash, and think about the pros and cons before you make a decision.

[johndoe1112]

listen i know how you feel about the bible but if it makes you feel any better the only reason i'm still catholic is because i know not all of that is good word there is so much added into it that not everything you read in it is true

[Avenida105]

Right now, I'm religiously confused. Have been for two years. Ever since I bought a Bible for some divine advice, opened up up, and read it. To keep it short, whenever I read the Bible I find something that I find morally wrong. And I've lost my faith because of that.

I guess I'm an atheist, but I don't want to call myself anything yet. I just want to step away from religion as a whole and just think about it until my mind is clear. But I can't.

I still go along with it. I have to. I'm on track to be Jesus in the next reenactment of the Passion. I'm looked up to in Youth Group. I go on the retreat every year. On the outside, I'm a perfectly normal Catholic.

But I think it's time to tell my parents. They won't kick me out or anything, but it could go either really good or really bad.

I remember last year when I they found out was researching Paganism, they flipped out. I didn't even want to become a Pagan, I was just researching it. Like I've done with every other major religion, and they were okay with that. Why not Paganism? That pisses me off.

So, they won't react well. I know that for sure. They aren't even that religious. We don't go to Sunday mass, we don't pray,and neither of them have read the Bible. Well, we do have this book we read out of at dinner, but that's it.

Best case scenario: My parents accept it and understand in time. I get to read atheist literature. I don't have to lie to anyone anymore. The weight will be lifted off my shoulders.

Worst case scenario: Parents blow up. They look through my phone and computer (which I find morally wrong.) I go back to public school. Members of extended family cut me out of their lives. More church and such.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Please give me advice.

Well we're both in a kinda similar situation. Well except for the fact that my family is actually very religious, like pray during meals, go to church every Sunday, sign up for everything at church, go to bible studies and stuff.

I kinda went along with it for a while, because you know I found church "fun" I got to make more friends, and go on retreats and camps, and a bunch of stuff.

After a while you start growing and during mid to late puberty you start realizing that big things, such as who are you, and what do you want. So at first when I was 14 I decided, well there is stuff I didn't agree with, but you know just go along. Slowly more things came up that I completely disagree with religion, with the bible, and then that conflict came up pretty much any other religion. I do believe in a stronger force, but I won't touch that subject since that would take me hours to explain. When I turned 17 I realized I was deist. Someone who believes in a higher being, but rejects all holy scriptures of all organized religious groups, does not believe in miracles, but rather that a creator set up the rules for our universe and then left and everything happens because things are simply meant to happen that way, nothing out of the extraordinaire.

I already told, my friends I'm a deist, all of my close friends are atheist so it wasn't hard at all. Then I told my church friends because they noticed I stopped, going. I told my aunt and uncle. I just have to tell my parents, and my overly religious grandparents, which will be extremely hard considering that every single fart happens because of the will of the lord according to them. I turned 18 already, so they have to understand that they really can't make me do stuff like that anymore. So I guess I'll just tell them whenever the conversation pops up, I won't pressure things to happen or avoid it, I'll just let it happen when it's best.

I think you should just wait for that moment when the water is clear. Trust me parents known when something is going on, they will ask, and no matter what happens they can't simply hate you. One it goes against all moral values especially those of the Christian faith.

[shinodas]

Avenida - sadly, the last thing youve written isnt all that truth, there's all kinds of parents in the world and some really would hate you for that, some people even for less which is all sad.

Out of all things, I feel REALLY really bad for kids who have obsessive parents (such as obsession with religion).
My whole family is christian, of course, grandparents are more religion-based than the later generations, but thankfully my parents were never too hard on this stuff, I was never forced to go to church on sunday, unless i was spending weekends over at my aunts/grandparents/cousins - my whole family from dad's side lives in one smaller town somewhere, and when I was there, I indeed was forced to go to church.

I never bothered reading bible, as I've heard they're calling me abomination in there? lol
It's hard to deal with strongly religious people, just to tell you, normal people dont hail the bible word to word, isnt there said to stone a woman if she had sex before marriage? That's just crazy.
I dont call myself an atheist, I believe in far too many things.
But I also dont call myself a christian, I have no need telling this to my grandparents or other members of my family, because I KNOW their mentality and I dont even want to imagine their reaction, since they're so strong willed about it, and im quite a tough headed guy too so i would probably tell them a lot of things and it would never be the same again, they're old people, mostly, and they were taught those things, so I just dont bring it up or if they do bring it up I'm literally making it obvious that I'm ignoring them so they take a hint - religion is your freaking choice and unless they want me to rub it in their faces they'll move onto the next topic. (My whole family from dad's side was on some kind of a weird rampage becuase I never did the Confirmation thingy? Whatever really, it wasnt all much that of a rampage cause they know I'm hot headed and they know i'd possibly ignore them cold dead for centuries if they take it too far)

My parents are different though, my mom's very open minded when it comes to these things, although i still have to explain her a lot like whats going on my mind and the way im thinking, so she doesnt misinterpret my behaviour - i might seem weird at times

anyway, id advise you 2 things:
dont force yourself into labeling your religious views right now, you're still so young and you dont know so many things, just be open minded and you can decide later on or just dont label it at all - as me.
second advice would be, communicate with your parents, i mean, IF youre gonna drop it on them "Im not a christian" it might be quite upsetting to them, so you might as well go around it like "hey mom, I was thinking and I'm not sure about christianity." try to make a normal conversation, not an argument, just tell whats bothering you and totally speak your mind, explain yourself, you're confused, maybe she can clear some things up? or your father idk

I feel really bad for you guys who have strongly religious parents and you feel some kind of a pressure. Stay strong kids! :D

[sqishy]

Right now, I'm religiously confused. Have been for two years. Ever since I bought a Bible for some divine advice, opened up up, and read it. To keep it short, whenever I read the Bible I find something that I find morally wrong. And I've lost my faith because of that.

I guess I'm an atheist, but I don't want to call myself anything yet. I just want to step away from religion as a whole and just think about it until my mind is clear. But I can't.

I still go along with it. I have to. I'm on track to be Jesus in the next reenactment of the Passion. I'm looked up to in Youth Group. I go on the retreat every year. On the outside, I'm a perfectly normal Catholic.

But I think it's time to tell my parents. They won't kick me out or anything, but it could go either really good or really bad.

I remember last year when I they found out was researching Paganism, they flipped out. I didn't even want to become a Pagan, I was just researching it. Like I've done with every other major religion, and they were okay with that. Why not Paganism? That pisses me off.

So, they won't react well. I know that for sure. They aren't even that religious. We don't go to Sunday mass, we don't pray,and neither of them have read the Bible. Well, we do have this book we read out of at dinner, but that's it.

Best case scenario: My parents accept it and understand in time. I get to read atheist literature. I don't have to lie to anyone anymore. The weight will be lifted off my shoulders.

Worst case scenario: Parents blow up. They look through my phone and computer (which I find morally wrong.) I go back to public school. Members of extended family cut me out of their lives. More church and such.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Please give me advice.

I am in a Catholic school and I imlpy that I am agnostic (not the actual truth but a simple justified answer) and everyone is fine with it.
My parents are sort of pagan (Wiccan and other stuff) and I go along with them to stuff to do with that and find it really interesting, but I (and the people there) see it as for symbolic reasons and not literal. I have the choice of going on with it, but I am taking a 'spectator' position, still after 7 years. So I am agnostic in that sense.
I have gone to mass with school and got communion and confirmation, but it I never really went with it. I don't believe in a personal god. But I have had a lot of religious moments and themes of thought in my life (still ongoing) and I go with it when I want to, but I know it's not literal, for symbolic reasons and to see if it helps me in any way.

Religion/practice and me is a very complicated relationship, so the simple answer is I am agnostic. I try to look at all persectives, scientific and religious. But I do not believe in a human/personal god, that I know.

That might be off the point, but wanted to get it down. My coming out with my religious standing has been way more of a gradual breeze than my coming out with my sexuality (the life-changing and ongoing big event atm).
Hope my perspective helps!
*hugs*

[darthearth]

Why not talk about the Bible with them and ask them what they think about the passages that give you trouble, and tell them why you have trouble with them. I'm a Christian and I don't believe in the Bible as God's infallible word, Christianity should be about developing a personal relationship with Christ, not forcing yourself to adhere to infallible Bible dogma. The old testament is full of myths and add-ons by priests (I think), when Jesus said to love him more than family he is talking about understanding that Christ is the only way unto eternal life (my interpretation anyway). I believe in God primarily because of our world and conscious existence, and I don't need scientific proof for his existence.

But I think just discussing the Bible issues with your parents and even your church would be a good first step. Just have a Bible study and give your critical honest opinion/view.