Talking About Gays in Class

[Alex_3869]

So, A lot of things have happened today. Firstly, and the most important thing is the conversation that we got into in Biology. We were talking about the brain and how the chemical reactions make people different, etc. etc. So we got really off track. Someone asks if the chemical composition in gay people's brain is different.

Okay, so a little side note, I am gay, and not even close to coming out.

The teacher said that there were two types of gay people. The people who have felt like this since they were little children and knew that they were different, and people who realize that they are gay through environmental factors. She says that the chemical composition of the gay people are different and chemicals released are different than straight people.

So obviously ninth graders will be ninth graders and the whole class erupted into questions and side conversations about gay people. I am going to list a couple of things that i heard questioned etc.

1. How can gay people be born like that?
2. How is it possible that gay people are attracted to the same sex?
3. I don't understand that.

Those were the ones that I heard off of the top of my head. There were quite a bit of others. I was surprised that I heard no slurs. Of course there were a couple of jokes made, etc.

Why this is important to me is that it is the first gay conversation I had as a class since I have found out that I am gay. When the conversation started, I started to lock up. My leg started to bounce up and down nervously, and I went through 100 different emotions in those short 10 minutes. I felt fear, that when I did come out I wouldn't be accepted. I felt sad that people thought this way. i felt joy that I knew obviously I would have supporters. Then all of the gears in my head started to turn.

If I did come out, what would it be like. Would I do it at school or at home. How long would I continue to hide myself from people. How would adults, ie teachers who I respect look at me if I came out. How many supporters would I have, and would I become the talk of the school if I did. (keep in mind it s a pretty tolerant school)

Basically for two whole hours after that class, I froze. I felt like crying but I do not know why. I felt like I was tied down. I felt like I couldn't live like it anymore. I felt like I was not free. I also felt like I was not ready to come out and that I needed to, to feel...me.

I do not know why I felt the intense urge to post my first REALLY long topic but... I don't know what I am asking. Basically, what would you do if you were me.

I basically needed to get this off of my chest. If you honestly read this far, thank you so much and it means a lot to me. Thank you for all of the wonderful responses I know I will get from you wonderful VTers!:D

[Luminous]

It sounds like you have a really open school. It's really cool that your teacher was willing to talk about that because I lot of teachers wouldn't.
Don't come out until you are 110% ready. You need to be emotionally ready to handle it- it is a really, really, really hard thing to do. You also need to be ready to ignore any sort of bullying you may go through. You need to be confident. And you need to be completely, totally positive that you are gay.
I'm not sure what else to say. As you say in the end of your post, VT is awesome.. we are all here to support you in your journey. I am also gay and I am starting to feel like I want to come out to a few more people than my parents and sister. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to VM or PM me, okay?
Hannah

[Alex_3869]

It sounds like you have a really open school. It's really cool that your teacher was willing to talk about that because I lot of teachers wouldn't.
Don't come out until you are 110% ready. You need to be emotionally ready to handle it- it is a really, really, really hard thing to do. You also need to be ready to ignore any sort of bullying you may go through. You need to be confident. And you need to be completely, totally positive that you are gay.
I'm not sure what else to say. As you say in the end of your post, VT is awesome.. we are all here to support you in your journey. I am also gay and I am starting to feel like I want to come out to a few more people than my parents and sister. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to VM or PM me, okay?
Hannah

Thank you for the quick reply. You changed your username so I didn't recognize you right away! lol. I am a very confident person. I literally strut down the hallways of my school not giving a crap what people think about me.

Yes my bio teacher is awesome. AND to add onto it she is like 60-70 so yeah. Awesome that she can be so open and very professional about this. I do think she has seen it all when it comes to kids though. She has been teaching for 40 years.

One of the things that I am worried about is not knowing if I am emotionally ready. So it may take some time. Thanks for the good advice!

[Luminous]

Thank you for the quick reply. You changed your username so I didn't recognize you right away! lol. I am a very confident person. I literally strut down the hallways of my school not giving a crap what people think about me.

Yes my bio teacher is awesome. AND to add onto it she is like 60-70 so yeah. Awesome that she can be so open and very professional about this. I do think she has seen it all when it comes to kids though. She has been teaching for 40 years.

One of the things that I am worried about is not knowing if I am emotionally ready. So it may take some time. Thanks for the good advice!

You are very welcome. It is very good on the confidence part, that is a major issue for some including me, though I have become more confident I definitely still try to fit in.. becoming emotionally ready will take some time as you say but I think you are well on your way.
(And yes - I did change my username. As it says in my signature now, I used to be xXPrincessXx. It has almost tripped me up a few times when looking at my quotes page or logging in.)

[Living For Love]

Your school seems really tolerant and open-minded. You're lucky, but remember that you should only come out when you're prepared. Don't try to rush it if you fell it's not the right moment.

[sqishy]

So, A lot of things have happened today. Firstly, and the most important thing is the conversation that we got into in Biology. We were talking about the brain and how the chemical reactions make people different, etc. etc. So we got really off track. Someone asks if the chemical composition in gay people's brain is different.

Okay, so a little side note, I am gay, and not even close to coming out.

The teacher said that there were two types of gay people. The people who have felt like this since they were little children and knew that they were different, and people who realize that they are gay through environmental factors. She says that the chemical composition of the gay people are different and chemicals released are different than straight people.

So obviously ninth graders will be ninth graders and the whole class erupted into questions and side conversations about gay people. I am going to list a couple of things that i heard questioned etc.

1. How can gay people be born like that?
2. How is it possible that gay people are attracted to the same sex?
3. I don't understand that.

Those were the ones that I heard off of the top of my head. There were quite a bit of others. I was surprised that I heard no slurs. Of course there were a couple of jokes made, etc.

Why this is important to me is that it is the first gay conversation I had as a class since I have found out that I am gay. When the conversation started, I started to lock up. My leg started to bounce up and down nervously, and I went through 100 different emotions in those short 10 minutes. I felt fear, that when I did come out I wouldn't be accepted. I felt sad that people thought this way. i felt joy that I knew obviously I would have supporters. Then all of the gears in my head started to turn.

If I did come out, what would it be like. Would I do it at school or at home. How long would I continue to hide myself from people. How would adults, ie teachers who I respect look at me if I came out. How many supporters would I have, and would I become the talk of the school if I did. (keep in mind it s a pretty tolerant school)

Basically for two whole hours after that class, I froze. I felt like crying but I do not know why. I felt like I was tied down. I felt like I couldn't live like it anymore. I felt like I was not free. I also felt like I was not ready to come out and that I needed to, to feel...me.

I do not know why I felt the intense urge to post my first REALLY long topic but... I don't know what I am asking. Basically, what would you do if you were me.

I basically needed to get this off of my chest. If you honestly read this far, thank you so much and it means a lot to me. Thank you for all of the wonderful responses I know I will get from you wonderful VTers!:D


Your description of a 100 moods in 10 minutes is something I have felt a lot, more at home than school. I am on the verge of coming out totally, like I already have come out to some people who expected to tell everyone else about this. That hasn't happened, for some reason. Maybe everyone does actually know but after me giving a lot of hints, nobody has mentioned anything :confused:. So that is weird.
Anyways, some people in my school use the 'that's so gay' joke quite a bit, but they are the younger ones. In my year I have tried to make it clear I am gay, and nothing has gone wrong. There have been times when two guys held hands in class, for humour probably. And in one of my classes some people have been talking about bromance and gays in a humorous but not insulting way. So it seems everyone is ok with it.
Of course first impressions can be decieving, but I won't know until I do it.
That's my side of the story.

I like it when long posts come about, because I know the person who made that post really wants to get something through.
*hugs*

[teen.jpg]

Whenever we talk about homosexuality in school I'm about a second away from stabbing someone.

And what the hell, why would I want to be told that my chemicals aren't the same as the average person. How is that helping me in any way?

[Jakie23]

Whenever we talk about homosexuality in school I'm about a second away from stabbing someone.

And what the hell, why would I want to be told that my chemicals aren't the same as the average person. How is that helping me in any way?

I feel the exact same way dude. Some of the people in my classes are just so narrow minded

[Dundun99]

pisses me off when people are narrow minded about gay people. i think gay people arre really nice and tbh, i think, good on em

[Alex_3869]

Your description of a 100 moods in 10 minutes is something I have felt a lot, more at home than school. I am on the verge of coming out totally, like I already have come out to some people who expected to tell everyone else about this. That hasn't happened, for some reason. Maybe everyone does actually know but after me giving a lot of hints, nobody has mentioned anything :confused:. So that is weird.
Anyways, some people in my school use the 'that's so gay' joke quite a bit, but they are the younger ones. In my year I have tried to make it clear I am gay, and nothing has gone wrong. There have been times when two guys held hands in class, for humour probably. And in one of my classes some people have been talking about bromance and gays in a humorous but not insulting way. So it seems everyone is ok with it.
Of course first impressions can be decieving, but I won't know until I do it.
That's my side of the story.

I like it when long posts come about, because I know the person who made that post really wants to get something through.
*hugs*

Thanks for the long response! :) Love those. I am happy to know that someone else has felt the same way I did, (whole 100 emotions thing). It is kind of scary when it is happening because you don't know really what is happening and your emotions completely take over. I really like it when i hear conversations about gays in school in a positive way, and there have been a lot of positive comments that I have heard just walking down the hall... maybe kind of eavesdropping.

I think that when people are making the thats go gay joke, they don't really understand what they are completely talking about, because if they are saying that then they probably aren't gay themselves, and therefore cannot understand it. Hope that made sense.

One of my views is, if they ask, tell them. Don't go announcing around the school if no one asks. But... I don't know. Never really been paid attention to in school, so it maybe interesting, because I would gain some fame as that gay freshman. And I know that the bullying wouldn't hurt me as much as it would to some people, because I have been bullied most of my schooling career.

Anyway. Done with ranting on. *hugs back* ;) Best of luck to you

[Alex_3869]

Whenever we talk about homosexuality in school I'm about a second away from stabbing someone.

And what the hell, why would I want to be told that my chemicals aren't the same as the average person. How is that helping me in any way?

Yet... She did not put into words like that. She was very professional about it. She didn't say that being straight was normal, and she did not compare as to which was normal and socially accepted.

How she worded it made me feel more respect to her because what she said was not insulting. She said that we were born with different brain chemical composition in what sex we like.

Basically she said that homosexuality was normal, and natural, which made me feel good inside :)

[steellord321]

If you did, you might become the talk but it doesn't seem like in a bad way. They would get used to it. They must know there are others. I guess from the reactions you would get a ton of questions, so don't do it till your ready for that at least. But you're right, you can't really be free when you go thru panic fear etc just sitting there listening to them talk about it.

I think you should calm down, give it some days then decide.

[Alex_3869]

If you did, you might become the talk but it doesn't seem like in a bad way. They would get used to it. They must know there are others. I guess from the reactions you would get a ton of questions, so don't do it till your ready for that at least. But you're right, you can't really be free when you go thru panic fear etc just sitting there listening to them talk about it.

I think you should calm down, give it some days then decide.

Thanks for the advice. At my school I think the supporters would outweigh the haters by 2 times. I do need to let everything settle. I am still getting used to the whole "i'm gay" thing.

I fist thought about telling my family first. Then when I saw how accepting many people are, I shifted to coming out at school first. My school life and home life are very different and don't mix at all. so I am not sure if I where I am going to go to first.

[sqishy]

Thanks for the long response! :) Love those. I am happy to know that someone else has felt the same way I did, (whole 100 emotions thing). It is kind of scary when it is happening because you don't know really what is happening and your emotions completely take over. I really like it when i hear conversations about gays in school in a positive way, and there have been a lot of positive comments that I have heard just walking down the hall... maybe kind of eavesdropping.

I think that when people are making the thats go gay joke, they don't really understand what they are completely talking about, because if they are saying that then they probably aren't gay themselves, and therefore cannot understand it. Hope that made sense.

One of my views is, if they ask, tell them. Don't go announcing around the school if no one asks. But... I don't know. Never really been paid attention to in school, so it maybe interesting, because I would gain some fame as that gay freshman. And I know that the bullying wouldn't hurt me as much as it would to some people, because I have been bullied most of my schooling career.

Anyway. Done with ranting on. *hugs back* ;) Best of luck to you

A long response to my long response :P
Your advice on coming out makes sense, I originally thought of coming out just randomly, but now I've decided to wait till someone asks. Hasn't happened yet, but that's fine. Sucks to get bullying, I have got some a few years ago but not as much as you. Hope that improves.
*hugs back*
:)