depressed and suicidal again

[bored4evah]

Hello, havnt been on here for quite a while, infact I completley forgot about it to be honest, but yeah whatever. Anyway... sorry if this is all jumbled up, im really tired right now

A couple of months ago (febuary-june) I was feeling like shit and thought about killing myself, I almost did it, but I was too scared to jump. I eventually started getting better until something happened around july which I wanna keep private even though im practically anonymus anyway. So what happend in july made me feel horrible, but I didn't want to end my life just then, cause I had met new people online and they were all awesome (and there were 3 online friends I still wanted to meet irl too) so yeah.

Anyway I just feel really bad and guilty though because ive been lying to a certain online friend about stuff just to get attention from them cause I like talking to them. What made this a worser thing than it already was though is that I actually beleived my own lies, but I also made this person feel useless, and that was something I never intended to do.

Also throughout the pass few months I have regarded some things as weak and pathetic, like caring, crying, being wrong and other stuff.

So im pretty sure everyone here thinks I should die, right?

[bored4evah]

Oh yeah, and I was gonna end my life this year too until I promised someone I wouldn't. But I suck at keeping promises

[Luminous]

I'm glad you posted here. Accepting that you made a mistake is going to help you a lot. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, but those who choose to and those who are strong can get over those mistakes and regrets. Write a very nice letter apologizing and explaining to the person (or any people) you feel you need to. Ignore what people say about you, because they are just making fun of you to feel better about themselves. Be kind to everyone, even those who aren't kind in return. I truly believe in karma. Swallow your pride, and start over. Always be careful to think twice before you speak, or type. Everything you say and do can cause an impact. With that in mind, I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here.

[Abyssal Echo]

Hello, havnt been on here for quite a while, infact I completley forgot about it to be honest, but yeah whatever. Anyway... sorry if this is all jumbled up, im really tired right now

A couple of months ago (febuary-june) I was feeling like shit and thought about killing myself, I almost did it, but I was too scared to jump. I eventually started getting better until something happened around july which I wanna keep private even though im practically anonymus anyway. So what happend in july made me feel horrible, but I didn't want to end my life just then, cause I had met new people online and they were all awesome (and there were 3 online friends I still wanted to meet irl too) so yeah.

Anyway I just feel really bad and guilty though because ive been lying to a certain online friend about stuff just to get attention from them cause I like talking to them. What made this a worser thing than it already was though is that I actually beleived my own lies, but I also made this person feel useless, and that was something I never intended to do.

Also throughout the pass few months I have regarded some things as weak and pathetic, like caring, crying, being wrong and other stuff.

So im pretty sure everyone here thinks I should die, right?

I seriously doubt anyone here wants to see you die.
sure you made some mistakes and are feeling bad and guilty about them. I don't know of anyone that hasn't made a mistake or lied about something.
Like my mom tells me suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
personally I think you should try to talk to this person tell them what you did and apologize.

[Mynick]

As Hannah and Mattie said, nobody wants to see you dead and facing you made a mistake is good step. You lied ok, everyone lies, you could try to explain to your online friend what you did and apologize. You will feel a lot better.
Next time be honest really, if you really like talking to someone, lying is a great way to STOP doing so. Be honest and find something you both like.
As Mattie said suicide is not the answer, ask yourself, will this things bother me in the next 3 years? Do they have a big impact on my life? If not, don't waste your time thinking about them.
Good luck.

[Harley Quinn]

All off topic and fight posts have been deleted. This is a help site, you don't need to be fighting on someone else's thread. If you have an issue you should take it up privately or with a mod. You contribute nothing to the thread if you fight and it makes you look like assholes. Stop fighting.

[martogogo]

why are you in depress people? life is beautiful...

[Aura]

I understand your pain, and I'm positively sure that majority of the members on this website would not agree with your last statement.

My advice is hold close to you what makes you feel the slightest bit happy (in this case, internet friends).

Have you told any family members or specialists about this? I know it's hard but it's so important.

- Elijah

[bored4evah]

I understand your pain, and I'm positively sure that majority of the members on this website would not agree with your last statement.

My advice is hold close to you what makes you feel the slightest bit happy (in this case, internet friends).

Have you told any family members or specialists about this? I know it's hard but it's so important.

- Elijah

My parents don't really care and have better things to do than take me to a therapist

[johndoe1112]

My parents don't really care and have better things to do than take me to a therapist

why don't you ask them if you just want to not do anything about it why did you post this on the forum im not trying to be rude but how are we going to help you if you do not help yourself man

[Dundun99]

I feel your pain and I want to help. Speak to loads of different people and see if having a big change alters the situation