Too early to know?

[Harry_2013]

I'm currently 14 and a half.... I'm wondering if it is too young to know my sexual orientation. I'm pretty sure (probably 99%) that I'm gay, and (at the moment) I am alright with that, because I know that it is not something I have chosen and I cannot change what I am.

I think I'm gay because:


I know (110% sure) that I have a crush on a guy at school
I don't feel attracted to girls, but I feel attracted to guys. I don't want to kiss girls or get a boyfriend (for example) but I want to kiss him and oddly despite me not being fully sure if I’m gay or not, I want to go out with him. I have never felt this way towards someone before.

I don't think this is a phase, I don't see how you could feel feelings like I said above then suddenly feel the opposite way round... would you agree that I'm gay? I want to make sure that I am definitely homosexual before I consider coming out. I don't feel ready to come out yet though; I think I should come out around February time, because I'm already tired of hiding this and I don’t want to be hiding things for a long time because I don’t want to live that way, I want to be proud of who I am. Would February be too early though? My school is small, a few (straight) people have expressed their support for gay rights and I am liked by quite a few people so I'm confident that I would be supported, obviously there are a few homophobic people but I'm hoping that the supportive people would outnumber them, so I think that coming out in a few months time would be the best thing for my self-esteem and confidence in the long-term.


It feels amazing to be able to tell people this, because this has actually been going on for quite a few months and I’ve felt alone about this situation. Thank you to anyone who replies to this :)

[Luminous]

No, you're not too young to know.
Don't come out until you are ready. By that I mean you should be 100% sure of your sexuality - you should be emotionally strong enough - you should be physically and emotionally strong enough for the bullying, for the staring, anything. You don't have to come out, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

[Harry_2013]

No, you're not too young to know.
Don't come out until you are ready. By that I mean you should be 100% sure of your sexuality - you should be emotionally strong enough - you should be physically and emotionally strong enough for the bullying, for the staring, anything. You don't have to come out, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Thanks for the advice :) I'll wait for a few months for me to become comfortable with myself.

[Luminous]

Thanks for the advice :) I'll wait for a few months for me to become comfortable with myself.

I am glad to help :) I am gay and I think I may have come out too early. I was only 100% sure for a few weeks and I definitely wasn't emotionally ready. I only came out to my parents though so it wasn't as much of a big deal. It has been 11 months since I told them and I feel a lot more confident now, a big reason actually being VT.

[ksdnfkfr]

I think I am gay.
I am in an active relationship with a boy.
But I have decided I am too young to know for sure.
How I think/feel now might be a lot different 5 years
down the road when I am 18.

This person summed things up good:

I am new to the forum, and see so many posts from guys who are wondering which category they fit into. I am probably totally out of place as a newbie, but I think we are often too young to make these decisions at our age. Yes, I believe there are some buys that KNOW they Gay or straight, but I also think that sex is so new & exciting to us, that we are willing to experiment with almost anyone, in order to try to experience the wonderful feeling that puberty brings to us.

I think guys experimenting with guys is totally normal, as we try to get through puberty/adolescence & decide about our sexuality. Many of us, when jackin with other guys, are looking at pictures of women, or talking about sex with women. To me, all that means is that we have both discovered these wonderful new feelings in our penis, & want to explore them with others. At 13, I was much too shy to talk to girls about sex or masturbation, but my best friend was also going through puberty, so we did masturbate together. If he had been a girl, I honestly wouldn't have known what to do, & definitely would not have known how to make sex good for her!

Just my opinion!

ElmoC

[sqishy]

I am glad to help :) I am gay and I think I may have come out too early. I was only 100% sure for a few weeks and I definitely wasn't emotionally ready. I only came out to my parents though so it wasn't as much of a big deal. It has been 11 months since I told them and I feel a lot more confident now, a big reason actually being VT.

Agreed, good advice here on this thread.

[Alex_3869]

Hi. I am gay. When I came to this forum a couple moths ago, I didn't know and I wasn't ready to accept myself for who I was. I explored a little and posted a thread, pretty much exactly what you said. It is hard to come to terms with it. You are thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong. My extended family is very religious, so I am nervous about that. Nervous about school as I am pretty awkward.
I will not come out for a few years until I know, or I get into a relationship where I am kinda forced to come out because of the circumstances. It is a hard thing to cope with, so I am just going to let my feelings about it settle, and then proceed with coming out to people.
My best advice to you would be to not let all of these emotions blind you. Don't let all of the sexual energy built up just say you are gay because you want sex, and it seems easier attained that way. If you like a boy for who they are as a person, you want to connect with them on an emotional level, have sexual feelings for them, and you think you could fall in love,then you are probably gay.
If you feel any of the things that i listed above to a girl, then you are not 100%. I hope this post helps, as I was in the same situation. Best of luck trying to find out who you are!

[Tarannosaurus]

All of the other posts give good advice so I'll just add this on. It can be hard knowing when the right time to come out is. It's easier to come out to one person you trust at first and then gradually start telling people. Coming out to everyone at once can be a bit overwhelming. It might help if you knew a few other gay people in your school that you could talk to about it. Good luck :)

[Harry_2013]

Thanks for the help everyone :) It's really helped me out :)

[ChrisKid]

Im in the exact same situation.. Ive felt confident that gay for over 6 months now but i dont want to come out to my family incase i turn out not to be.. What im planning on doing is just to roll with it for a few more months to see if anything changes and to go from there! Hope this helps somehow!!

[Joey.]

You don't choose to be gay/Bi/Straight..
You're born that way.
Theres never an age set that you're suppose to know by..
If your sure, then all best for you!
:)

[From Chris]

I'm currently 14 and a half.... I'm wondering if it is too young to know my sexual orientation. I'm pretty sure (probably 99%) that I'm gay, and (at the moment) I am alright with that, because I know that it is not something I have chosen and I cannot change what I am.

I think I'm gay because:


I know (110% sure) that I have a crush on a guy at school
I don't feel attracted to girls, but I feel attracted to guys. I don't want to kiss girls or get a boyfriend (for example) but I want to kiss him and oddly despite me not being fully sure if I’m gay or not, I want to go out with him. I have never felt this way towards someone before.

I don't think this is a phase, I don't see how you could feel feelings like I said above then suddenly feel the opposite way round... would you agree that I'm gay? I want to make sure that I am definitely homosexual before I consider coming out. I don't feel ready to come out yet though; I think I should come out around February time, because I'm already tired of hiding this and I don’t want to be hiding things for a long time because I don’t want to live that way, I want to be proud of who I am. Would February be too early though? My school is small, a few (straight) people have expressed their support for gay rights and I am liked by quite a few people so I'm confident that I would be supported, obviously there are a few homophobic people but I'm hoping that the supportive people would outnumber them, so I think that coming out in a few months time would be the best thing for my self-esteem and confidence in the long-term.


It feels amazing to be able to tell people this, because this has actually been going on for quite a few months and I’ve felt alone about this situation. Thank you to anyone who replies to this :)

Hi there Harry! I would be more than happy to help you with your situation! I think if you believe you are sexually attracted to guys, then that means you could be gay. :) As a gay 15 year old, others say it's too early for me to tell but honestly, i have no sexual attraction to girls at all and only guys. I think if you genuinely like the person and you are only attracted to guys and him i would say you would be gay. :) Which is fine! In the end, you are you and if you know you're gay then let it be! Don't hold back and just be yourself~ I hope this helps!

-From Chris

[Lil.k8]

gay and straight are just extremes of the scale people land somewhere inbetween just know that what ever you feel attracted to is what your attracted to at that point in time

[steellord321]

Interesting how no one ever tells a "pretty sure" straight kid its too early to know, don't rush things. You're probably gay. I knew by age 12. If you feel nothing for girls then that's that.

As far as your plan, i say go for it. Its not even if the support outnumbers the haters but if you have some support. Then who cares what the haters think.

[Mich015]

Why do you want to lable yourself so badly? If your attracted to another boy, fine explore that an see what happenes. Maybe your gay or maybe your bi. Why does it need a lable right now. Enjoy exploring your sexuality and see where it leads you, theres no rush. Good luck to you!

[ATOMICskittles]

I'm currently 14 and a half.... I'm wondering if it is too young to know my sexual orientation. I'm pretty sure (probably 99%) that I'm gay, and (at the moment) I am alright with that, because I know that it is not something I have chosen and I cannot change what I am.

I think I'm gay because:


I know (110% sure) that I have a crush on a guy at school
I don't feel attracted to girls, but I feel attracted to guys. I don't want to kiss girls or get a boyfriend (for example) but I want to kiss him and oddly despite me not being fully sure if I’m gay or not, I want to go out with him. I have never felt this way towards someone before.

I don't think this is a phase, I don't see how you could feel feelings like I said above then suddenly feel the opposite way round... would you agree that I'm gay? I want to make sure that I am definitely homosexual before I consider coming out. I don't feel ready to come out yet though; I think I should come out around February time, because I'm already tired of hiding this and I don’t want to be hiding things for a long time because I don’t want to live that way, I want to be proud of who I am. Would February be too early though? My school is small, a few (straight) people have expressed their support for gay rights and I am liked by quite a few people so I'm confident that I would be supported, obviously there are a few homophobic people but I'm hoping that the supportive people would outnumber them, so I think that coming out in a few months time would be the best thing for my self-esteem and confidence in the long-term.


It feels amazing to be able to tell people this, because this has actually been going on for quite a few months and I’ve felt alone about this situation. Thank you to anyone who replies to this :)

No, you not too young at all. Personally, my opinion, you can never be "too young to know" it's your sexuality. I got a feeling I was in 2nd grade! And I came out 17 days into being 13 yrs old. Yesterday marked my first full year of being out. So my true answer is you can never be too young, to know. And my support goes to you for coming out later and stay strong, it is soooooo awesome to be open about it, trust me. It will be so much easier. :) stay strong

[Jakie23]

I didcovered I was gay when I was like 10 and a half. But I didn't come out til I was 14 and a half. Course you're not too young :)