Log in

View Full Version : Complicated...


AmericanCossack
November 2nd, 2013, 07:20 PM
Here's the situation. Two of my very best friends- both female- where until a few days ago dating. I'll call them friend S and friend T for the sake of their anonymity. Friend S and friend T broke up. Now, they still consider themselves friends but they're both a bit depressed- S much more so, even though she was the one who broke it off. Now, the thing is, I've always had a crush on T. She knows it quite well, but neither of us would have done anything while she was with S- and beforehand, I think she was a bit hesitant and waiting for me to make the first move. T is going through some home troubles currently, to further complicate matters. I think the time to ask T on a date might be here... However, I don't want to do anything too early, or upset S more then she already is. Now, this relationship of theirs only lasted a month- almost to the day- but it was their second go in the past 2 years. The first breakup was very amiable, and I think mutual- in contrast to this one. Note also that S did this simply because of their disparate interests and schedules, not because of outside pressure. In fact, a host of people tried to keep her from going through with it, myself in their ranks...

Now, for the actual reasons behind this post. I'm definitely going to ask T out at some point, but... I'm not sure how long I should wait, or if I should ask in person... Asking in person has some difficulty, as the only time we are together is during school and someone out of our mutual group of friends always seem to be right there. Her familial difficulties and the distance between our houses mean that I can't visit and we can't go on an outing- for a few months, at least. However, asking via Skype would make me seem cowardly, and let's just say that phones aren't an option at all. Again, I don't want to hurt S any more then absolutely necessary, and I don't want to scare T by asking at an inopportune time. Thoughts?

WeAreOneRepublic
November 3rd, 2013, 12:05 AM
Ask in person, it is better and you won't seem coward. You two can talk about seeing each other and make something work. Do not become very involved in her family problems. S shouldn't matter between you two, I understand that you want to keep friends so do that but don't let her take the wheel of your relationship from you.

Living For Love
November 3rd, 2013, 12:29 PM
If they broke up, then they are both currently single. I think you should ask her personally, she might like you, and as it was S that broke their relationship, it shouldn't be a big deal to her. Just make sure you keep S has a good friend.

AmericanCossack
November 3rd, 2013, 10:50 PM
Right, so, update. My birthday happens to be in 4 days- such timing!- and I've invited T to my party-flavour ordeal. She'll be among a very tight group there, which should give opportunities for asking her without onlookers. She is likeminded about S in that S oughtn't to care about her relationship status, so there is that... Further, I'll try to keep out of her family problems. We'll see how things go...