getting worse

[lady]

I've been depressed for awhile now. I grew up fat, my dad neglected me and my mom was never there because of divorce,and I'm not very pretty. I don't even know what to do anymore. I literally have no talents or anything special about me and I've recently gotten into smoking, drugs and alcohol. Honestly since I've been born an accident my life has been spiraling down and lately I've been lacking empathy and average emotions.I've been feeling like I have no use so I should just end it all for me. I have been self harming for four or five years now and I can't stop. I don't know what to even do with myself. I have absolutely no motivation to even wake up anymore. My mom knows I self harm and doesn't even care she just says things like "stop, that's stupid, grow up" but honestly I don't want to grow up. I hate living and I hate every one around me. I really need help but I litteraly have no one to talk to about how I feel because honestly I sound like a psychopath.

[Ozymandias]

Hi Megan,

Welcome to Virtual Teen Forums.

Your words take me back to a very recent phase of my life and my mess was unfortunately a lot more painful.

What helped me recover -
1. stop giving shit about the things that are not in my control.

2. channel my negative energy/bouts of overthinking towards other activities (for me it was writing, making amateur films)

3. when i realized that I have nobody to talk to, I embraced solitude, and that is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

4. if everything fails, I insist you visit a psychologist very soon.

Feel free to write to me.

Good luck.

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

I've been depressed for awhile now. I grew up fat, my dad neglected me and my mom was never there because of divorce,and I'm not very pretty. I don't even know what to do anymore. I literally have no talents or anything special about me and I've recently gotten into smoking, drugs and alcohol. Honestly since I've been born an accident my life has been spiraling down and lately I've been lacking empathy and average emotions.I've been feeling like I have no use so I should just end it all for me. I have been self harming for four or five years now and I can't stop. I don't know what to even do with myself. I have absolutely no motivation to even wake up anymore. My mom knows I self harm and doesn't even care she just says things like "stop, that's stupid, grow up" but honestly I don't want to grow up. I hate living and I hate every one around me. I really need help but I litteraly have no one to talk to about how I feel because honestly I sound like a psychopath.

[elmoc]

Hello Lady,
I am so sorry that you feel so depressed. It can be so difficult to pull yourself out of depression when you have no one to talk to. Is there a community counseling center, or a school counselor that you can access? Please don't give up. Although things seem difficult right now, you are capable of offering wonderful things to your community & this world. Please keep trying...