A not so good halloween.

[turtlescantwrite]

I just got done handing out candy, and honestly I had a terrible time. It may seem childish or perhaps im causing myself all of this sadness, but I just need to vent before I lock myself up. I was alone outside and it left me to my own thoughts between trick or treaters. Every time I would look at the candy I would think how my step dad would call me a fata** every year, and how he would bully and taunt us if we ate some one night. Im definitly not overweight, but it still cut deep. I watched the little kids walk around with their parents in their cute little costumes and I felt sick. I want what they have. I wish I had what they did, but Im 17 now. Maybe Its stupid to think about from then, but somehow I cant stop thinking about the one time I went trick or treating with my biological father. He didnt say anything mean, but I feel like I didnt recognize that false sense of love then, so im glorifying him. Im confused. Sorry.

[Mynick]

It's good to vent, i'm glad you did it. As you said you may be overthinking it. Don't give it too much thoughts, it's not worth it.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I just got done handing out candy, and honestly I had a terrible time. It may seem childish or perhaps im causing myself all of this sadness, but I just need to vent before I lock myself up. I was alone outside and it left me to my own thoughts between trick or treaters. Every time I would look at the candy I would think how my step dad would call me a fata** every year, and how he would bully and taunt us if we ate some one night. Im definitly not overweight, but it still cut deep. I watched the little kids walk around with their parents in their cute little costumes and I felt sick. I want what they have. I wish I had what they did, but Im 17 now. Maybe Its stupid to think about from then, but somehow I cant stop thinking about the one time I went trick or treating with my biological father. He didnt say anything mean, but I feel like I didnt recognize that false sense of love then, so im glorifying him. Im confused. Sorry.

It's always hard to see something you wish you had, something that can never be...I know those feelings come from time to time and that certain events trigger those feelings but when they come try to think about something else, something you still don't have but you will in the future and concentrate on acheiving those things. It always helps me, to change the way the wind blows.

And what is really important too, is to create new good memories for that event. Next year try a halloween party with your friends and next year you remember it good things will pop up in ypur mind.

[jesusogpaign]

Next year get a dope costume, go with some friends to a halloween party :) This is one of the best holidays around because you can celebrate and have a good time no matter what age you are.

[othees]

Well, you can change for him or stay who you are.