Mob Boss
October 29th, 2013, 01:13 PM
I'm not sure if this is the appropriate section for such a question. Mods please move this to the correct area if this isn't where you see fit.
This question might be.....impossible to answer without knowing the specifics, but I like the anonymity of this place. I'm too ashamed to even mention it to my friends in real life, let alone ask for advice or help.
My dad is a serious alcoholic. I'm not saying this to be dramatic or "woe is me". I don't want pity because it's just a card that happened to be dealt and that's life. Anywhoozer, he drinks at least a 6-pack of beer every night, though usually that's his minimum and he consumes quite a bit more. I no longer live with him. However I do see him nearly as often as if I'd lived with him (his neighborhood is fairly close to my apartment), and occasionally spend weekends at his house. So these aren't guesstimations, rather factual observations. On top of all the beer, I often find him drinking bottles of whiskey. He doesn't just sip it; I've seen entire empty bottles of it disposed in his trash bin. He also hides them in his pantry in places where no one would typically look. And even in my (old) bedroom, he has one or two empty bottles hidden in my dresser drawers. Every night he has to get drunk. There was a 3-day exception, in which case he wasn't allowed because he was actually in submitted to the hospital. He went to the ER one night because he thought he was going into cardiac arrest. They ran tests (i was there the entire time and even slept in my car for two nights in the hospital parking garage to be near even after visitor hours) and his blood pressure was extremely, extremely high. Countless doctors and nurses came in on various occasions to ask if he drank. Of course he lied -- he said he drank "very seldom", which is the biggest load of bullshit. I see him not just drink, but drunk constantly. One night I was at his house and it was so bad because I'd been yelling about him about his drinking. He automatically gets viciously defensive. Not just that, but gets angry like a caged animal. We both exchanged awful things I regret saying and hearing to this day.
Here's the thing, he exhibits every possible sign of alcoholism: he conceals it; drinks it in public; on weekends, especially, he gets drunk extremely early; he has to drink every night; gets suspiciously defensive when anyone points out how much he consumes; and lies incessantly to my two older sisters and I about it.
He doesn't understand what he's becoming. I honestly feel like I hate him. Every time I visit, I can't stand being around him like that, which HE ALWAYS IS like that. I've offered to go to every single AA meeting he wanted to with him, looked up countless counselors and/or rehabilitation centers. I've even poured out all the alcohol i could possibly find in his house, which resulted in him calling me a whole battery of crude names. I've tried baiting him by saying I'd no longer talk to him nor see him, which evidently wasn't motivational in the slightest.
I've also played the whole supportive card and tried to sympathize and set goals. All to no avail. He's getting immensely worse. I love him. I look up to him (yes, I still look up to him even through this). He's my dad. He's my hero. He's such an incredible person, man, father when he's sober. But I'm seeing that man less and less these days. It's inexplicably heart breaking to me. And please don't say it isn't my place to help him. He's my father and I'm going to do everything I can for him regardless of the whole parent/child roles that seemed to have swapped.
The only thing aside from being court ordered from acquiring DUI or whatever, what is there one could possibly do to push an alcoholic into some sort of treatment facility or program?
This question might be.....impossible to answer without knowing the specifics, but I like the anonymity of this place. I'm too ashamed to even mention it to my friends in real life, let alone ask for advice or help.
My dad is a serious alcoholic. I'm not saying this to be dramatic or "woe is me". I don't want pity because it's just a card that happened to be dealt and that's life. Anywhoozer, he drinks at least a 6-pack of beer every night, though usually that's his minimum and he consumes quite a bit more. I no longer live with him. However I do see him nearly as often as if I'd lived with him (his neighborhood is fairly close to my apartment), and occasionally spend weekends at his house. So these aren't guesstimations, rather factual observations. On top of all the beer, I often find him drinking bottles of whiskey. He doesn't just sip it; I've seen entire empty bottles of it disposed in his trash bin. He also hides them in his pantry in places where no one would typically look. And even in my (old) bedroom, he has one or two empty bottles hidden in my dresser drawers. Every night he has to get drunk. There was a 3-day exception, in which case he wasn't allowed because he was actually in submitted to the hospital. He went to the ER one night because he thought he was going into cardiac arrest. They ran tests (i was there the entire time and even slept in my car for two nights in the hospital parking garage to be near even after visitor hours) and his blood pressure was extremely, extremely high. Countless doctors and nurses came in on various occasions to ask if he drank. Of course he lied -- he said he drank "very seldom", which is the biggest load of bullshit. I see him not just drink, but drunk constantly. One night I was at his house and it was so bad because I'd been yelling about him about his drinking. He automatically gets viciously defensive. Not just that, but gets angry like a caged animal. We both exchanged awful things I regret saying and hearing to this day.
Here's the thing, he exhibits every possible sign of alcoholism: he conceals it; drinks it in public; on weekends, especially, he gets drunk extremely early; he has to drink every night; gets suspiciously defensive when anyone points out how much he consumes; and lies incessantly to my two older sisters and I about it.
He doesn't understand what he's becoming. I honestly feel like I hate him. Every time I visit, I can't stand being around him like that, which HE ALWAYS IS like that. I've offered to go to every single AA meeting he wanted to with him, looked up countless counselors and/or rehabilitation centers. I've even poured out all the alcohol i could possibly find in his house, which resulted in him calling me a whole battery of crude names. I've tried baiting him by saying I'd no longer talk to him nor see him, which evidently wasn't motivational in the slightest.
I've also played the whole supportive card and tried to sympathize and set goals. All to no avail. He's getting immensely worse. I love him. I look up to him (yes, I still look up to him even through this). He's my dad. He's my hero. He's such an incredible person, man, father when he's sober. But I'm seeing that man less and less these days. It's inexplicably heart breaking to me. And please don't say it isn't my place to help him. He's my father and I'm going to do everything I can for him regardless of the whole parent/child roles that seemed to have swapped.
The only thing aside from being court ordered from acquiring DUI or whatever, what is there one could possibly do to push an alcoholic into some sort of treatment facility or program?