my sister and porn?

[skittles_was_here]

idk if this goes in this section but....i was on my sister's kindle the other day(shes 9) and i was searching the web. all of a sudden her most visited places popped up and in it was a porn site. i then searched her history and found she had been to this site alot.

i am the oldest child and a little worried to find out my sister has started watching porn at 9 years old. what am i supposed to do? should i confront her or leave her alone? please help me.

[skittles_was_here]

exactly, unforunately she was raped a year ago by my step dad. after that my mom got completely generous, and whenever my sister didn't get what she wanted she started to rebel. my mom tried to restric it, but my sister rebelled to the restrictions. about a month later i found what i did.

[SammyG17]

Ok well that new information just changed things a little bit. This isn't a matter of a little girl finding out about porn on her own, this is a little girl who had a terrible thing happen, and now might be looking for answers/feelings/reasons why.

Is the step-dad still there or is he gone now?

It sounds like you need to talk to her, but do it as a friend not as an older sibling/parent, and find out whats going on. Don't make her feel bad if she's masturbating...A lot of girls and boys on VT started early, and after your sister's experience, it might be a means to take out anger. But if you make her feel guilty for what she's doing (looking at porn, or even masturbating if she is doing that), it will only do more harm. She might already think what happened to her was her fault, so making her feel guilty won't help. You need to be understanding, loving, and 100% open about anything she wants to do/talk about. Explain that there are other ways she can take her frustrations out, but if looking/doing is what makes her feel better just be there to guide her/ show her / explain etc etc how to do things safely, or why porn might not be in her best interest.

[Amazerful]

You guys need to have a serious talk

[skittles_was_here]

yeah im soorry i didnt mention that earlier. he's in jail right now. as far as i know, she doesnt think its her fault. i looked at her history a little farther back and it seems her first porn search was "justin beiber having sex" on google...next it was one direction. this led her to her porn site. i dont know if that changes things or not tho.

[Jennboh]

Maybe she was just looking for Justin Bieber nude photos for her fantasies?(btw, ive never thought he was that hot).

[AdrianField]

Maybe she was just looking for Justin Bieber nude photos for her fantasies?(btw, ive never thought he was that hot).
Lol good to know hhahahaha

[Katiya]

Eh, it sounds pretty harmless. Just because she was raped doesn't mean she should get what ever she wants from mom. Especially if mum is more generous to her than you. That's setting things up for her hating you in the future. She does need kindness and love. But not being spoiled.

Talk to her about it as a friend. Just tell her your worried and want to help. Don't reprimand her for it. If anything show her how to be safe about anything she's doing. She was exposed to a pretty scaring sexual event at a young age which can triger some stuff. She could be exploring her own feelings. She might need counselor. But don't force one on her. Let it be her choice.
Sex is natural and nothing for anyone to be ashamed of. Its perfectly human. If she's watching general porn about making love its no biggie.

Cause to worry about : If she's watching violent porn or rape like porn. This is a sign of a deep problem which could grow into her believing this is what love is like and cause her to be hurt again in the future. If this is the case I'd tell some one and not talk to her about it at all. Let a professional deal with this kinda thing.

DO: by all means start educating her on safe sex,masturbation ext... You want to tell her its not a good idea to have sex at such an age. But if she does chose to, make sure they guy wears a condom, doesn't have any STDs. That kinda thing. So if she does do it she's at least taking precaution. Once again she may still benefit from a counselor, talk it over with mum tho. And make sure mum doesn't go nuts.

[melissa13]

Justin Bieber nude, yuck, hes a jerk. But then again i was very curious at 9

[martogogo]

you have very interesting sister :)

[kitten13]

justin he full of his self he not all he thinks he is. i think he is on his way out anyways.
just let her be her and why would you be in her things anyways.

kim

[princess09]

Justin Bieber nude, yuck, hes a jerk. But then again i was very curious at 9

haha yeah but even so id never turn to justin beiber to fufill my sexual needs even at that age :P:yeah:

[anyone50]

The fact she's looking at porn is probably related to her being sexualized and abused by her stepdad. You never mentioned if she had been penetrated or just molested by him but in the latter cases it makes a girl very aware of the enjoyable sensations of being masturbated and now she's has become sexually aware. There's a good chance he introduced her to porn on the internet as a way of making her combatable with sexual exploration It is very rare that a young girl of 9 that has been raped and completely penetrated will go looking for porn or even having thoughts of sex since it's such a traumatic experience. You can try talking to her about it to find out if there is more to this than her just wanting to explore her own sexuality and based on that decide if there should be intervention from a parent and possible counseling.

[Shailene]

Given what happened would bring it up with your mom. Your sister's idea of what feels good/right may have changed because of your step dad. Not saying it will, but could lead to unsafe/risky patterns of behavior in the future. Probably best to get a professional counselor involved.

[Swimmie]

I believe you guys need to talk a lot with her... maybe some professional help too...
Rapes can ruin a person's life...

[NotShortButFunsized]

I know it's embarrassing to go to someone but maybe talking to a counselor who specializes in helping people deal with really traumatic sexual experiences would be helpful and give her "healthier" ways of coping instead of diving deeper into sexuality before she's ready...she's still really young, if she can learn a healthier view of herself and her sexuality maybe the rest of her life, sexually and in general, could be more on track and she won't run into problems in the long run

[everlong]

I see a very serious talk is needed...

[Lisa12]

i think you guys should probably have a talk about it

[CheekyLinda]

Definitely someone needs to talk to her; but I'll suggest taking the professional approach, after all, a professional in psychological care knows of ways and techniques to understand and help people in the kind of situation your sister is going through

[photogirl]

you might want to say something to her before she gets her self in big trouble by your parents. if that dont work maybe i can help by talking to or give you another tip

[stepht]

Before you added that part about the stepdad I was thinking OK maybe she's just curious (it definitely happens that young - I know it was that way for me!). But yeah I agree with anyone50 that the experience may have made her more sexually aware and that's somehow connected.

You didn't say if she received any counseling after what happened to her but hopefully she did or still can.

[devon girl]

talk to her but dont tell her thats it wrong she might just be hitting pubitly early

[neledisapersonne]

If you just leave her to her own and let her explore everything herself at this point you never know where she will be heading so it is essential to be with her. But how you approach her is very important, if you make her feel uncomfortable you may just push her to those unwanted results yourself. So talk to her mildly and make sure she feels safe talking to you.
Also you need to talk to your mom about her attitude towards her too. Most probably she thinks its her fault that this happened to her hence the reason she is spoiling her but spoiling is not the right way to make this right, you guys should be caring and sharing. Spoiling will just make her feel superior than you and make her isolate herself from you.

[Emerald Dream]

talk to her but dont tell her thats it wrong she might just be hitting pubitly early

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