would you change who you are to be with someone?

[angelofmines]

i ask because I quit being best friends with this girl I once knew. since she met this guy, she been smoking and drinking until her lips are now black. before she met him she was not doing none of this. she moved in with him but I hear him tell other people he is about to dump her. she smoke and drink with him every weekend. when she is at work, she's more concentrated on him and taking pictures than work. all she do is hang around him 24/7. its like she can't breathe physically without him. she plaster she's drunk all over instagram and to be that's not even cute at all. its okay to drink socially, but drinking every Friday and Saturday and Sunday is so not like her. she does everything he want her to do. she even pay his bills, car note, whatever you can think of that has a bill. he's 23 and she just turned 19. so imagine how this is going. she changed herself physically and emotionally for him and he just pimping her like a smart person would. she hasn't seen her mom in 4 months that's how bad she stays around him. she told me they have sex everynight. she even pressuring him to marry her because they been dating for a year now. he stay around him like every move and every take.

[Mob Boss]

that's not even cute at all.

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/48/485574c48a60c7e0ed1c561553c068577d9e8c51175fe8c84d3e6d4244c4f14f.jpg



Doesn't it just irk the living irk out of you when you see girls (and guys) forget who they are because they have a guy (or girl) on their hip? To throw away yourself entirely to become this newly invented facade of a person is the most ignorant thing one can possibly do in a relationship, aside from getting each other's names tatted on each other. Don't do that shit, then you'll have to turn Bruce into "Truce" and irony is being a funny bastard again. Anywhoozer, unfortunately, most relationships built on lies, or one person trying to emulate someone else, nearly always fails. Her house of cards will come crumbling down eventually or she'll realize that isn't true happiness and she'll never discover it that way. He might, if he cares, realize she isn't whom she claims to be and cut the ole ball and chain right then and there. I'm not sure how to have your friend return to the girl she once was. She might never. Do you honestly want her back as a friend if you know she's willing to exchange her own likes, thoughts, personality at the drop of a hat for the next Joe that looks her way? I'm not sure that I would.
I'm starting a betting pot right here and now -- who else has a hundo on him not til death doing him part? Guys, like he seems to be, don't like traps. Marriage is an entire failing institution of traps and "cannot"s.


If this is just a general question for us to answer with the reasoning why you ask; no, I'd never change myself for anyone. I hate mornings and sometimes, occasionally grab a chainsaw and attempt to cut off the limbs of those that are nearest. I despise partying. Have drank occasionally, though I can take it or leave and would really rather leave it. I'm opinionated and have my own views that clash with most people around where I live. I also don't take shit from people, but for the most part I'm respectful. I'm packed with morals, but I also can think for myself and make my own decisions. No, I'd never ever change myself for anyone. Never. Never ever. If anyone attempted to force me, I'd have the front page of the morning edition holding up that exact same chainsaw, bloodied and growling, if you catch my drift.

I'm terribly sorry you've lost a friend. I can understand how awful that is. She needs an epiphany.

[Abyssal Echo]

NO Absolutely Not !

[Living For Love]

I wouldn't change completely, but it would be nice that the other person could tell me my faults so I could correct them and be a nicer person.

[kylem1229]

I would never change. If they want to be with me, and dont like how I am, its their problem. Not mine.

[Joey.]

I Believe that you should work on yourself ALWAYS
But, you shouldn't change to please someone else..
If they liked you when you first started going out
then they must have liked something about you, right?

I would never change just to please someone
although when you like someone
all you want to do is make them happy.
but you have to stay true to yourself!

[Katiya]

NEVER!!!!! They must like me for me and I must like them for them. I would never change for someone just because I liked them. I've had people close to me try to get me to change. I did try at one point but it wasn't me and I hated it. It was kinda like being closet gay abut my personailty. I had to pretend to be 'better' and 'nicer' and you know what, I failed. Back out a the closet. Its sooo much nicer to just be me than some stupid girl everyone wants me to be. People still try to change me to shove me into the female steriotipe of little shy submissive girl who loves babies. We'll iI just told them to go F**k them selves because I hate kids an babies and iI'm not shy or submissive and I NEVER EVER will let a guy force me to do anything like people want.
If a guy likes me for me and I like him fine, if not I don't mind dying alone. I'd be happier by my self than trying to be someone else because you never can really change who you are. Despite what people say, you are or you aren't. That's that. :)

[sqishy]

No. I'll change when I am with someone, but not consciously. Changing myself to be with someone would only be to clear up negative things, not whitewashing who I am.
If I were to change for someone, it would be with honesty, not hiding anything.

[Derryck]

I wouldn't change completely, but it would be nice that the other person could tell me my faults so I could correct them and be a nicer person.

^This guy.^ :D

[Loner_97]

Change is good. But completely changing yourself for someone else is bad. If you want the person to like you be yourself right?
Oh and you said you were her best friend... If you have stopped being friends with her when she is clearly going through things(even if she doesn't think so) you should be with her. Make sure she is Okay. you owe this. So don't leave her alone because when/if it ends badly she needs you.

[highschool]

I could change a habit if my boyfriend proved to me that it was unhealthy, immoral, etc. but changing who i am in general? no way

[Cygnus]

Nope, I am content with the person I currently am and if you are not happy with it well too bad.

[Camazotz]

Yes. If she's worth it, I'm willing to fix my messed-up self. Now, I wouldn't change for the worse, but I'd be willing to improve myself because I acknowledge that I have my faults.

[Wolf2Pack]

It depends on what she/He wants me to change.
For example: If I'm doing something wrong that can hurt myself or people around me, then yes i would change (Whatever it is I'm doing wrong) but it won't be for just her/Him. It'll be for myself also.
But if he/She wants me to change into what they want, changing my whole personality, drinking and smoking or cutting classes, then That person isn't worth Being with.
The way i see it. If that person can't accept me as who i am.
Then they're not worth keeping.

[PinkFloyd]

I wouldn't change myself just to be with someone. They need to know the REAL me. (even f the real me is childish a lot of the time...)

[Amazerful]

Nope, I am content with the person I currently am and if you are not happy with it well too bad.

I completely agree with this

[NikosamA98]

I tried to rebuild a friendship changing who I am (started smoking, drinking and almost tried weed) but it failed. Thankfully that person called me the next day after a party where I basically fucked up and told me that I have to stop acting like this, that I'm not like this and that he tells me that because he is my friend and loves me. Now I'm Aaron again but the friendship is still...not-fixed :/

The thing is that you don't have to change who you are because you deserve to be loved the way you are. You can fix your errors and learn from your mistakes but never change who you are.

P.D.: Like Shrek 2

[SawyerSauce]

I'd say he is controlling her and she is a willing victim.

I would never change myself for someone else. I would never be happy with that person. Isn't that the point of having a relationship? To be happy and give happiness?

I don't think the girl in that relationship is very happy.

[badthoughts]

They don't call me The Chameleon for nothing.