Guide to somewhat determining your sexuality

[chargersfan]

When you are uncertain about what your sexuality is, it can be very scary and very hard. But here's some tips that I have for some of you.

1)If you find yourself attracted to boys and are wondering if you are just curious or are actually gay, ask yourself if you are attracted to the opposite sex, if you answer yes, then you definitely are not gay, you might be Bi however, or maybe just curious. But If you find yourself attracted to the opposite sex it is impossible to be gay.

2)Did you ever have any crushes on the same sex BEFORE puberty, I have had crushes on same sex peers from as early as age 7, I didn't even know about sex or anything, but I never had one on any girls and had several on guys. If you have had crushes on same sex peers before puberty, I'm going to guess that you are in fact gay or Bi.

3)What Gender could you see yourself living with? Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with a boy? Or with a girl? Or both?

I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, but while I'm still in the closet I know myself and my sexuality very well, (I'm Gay) and if any of you guys want me to help you figure out your sexuality I'm happy to help you on this thread or you can message me. But while you may not be able to determine what your sexuality is for a few years, you can at least determine what your sexuality isn't right now. And you can almost always come up with 2, or at most 3 different possibilities of what your sexuality is.

[Alex_3869]

well I know I am either Gay or Bi. I have had some pretty strong crushes on girls, but that was mostly before puberty. I had one while I was starting puberty, but I didn't have any sexual attraction whatsoever. I also threw the word 'love' around like it meant nothing, so I was pretty sure when i said I loved them, I really just loved them as a friend, and though I was very emotionally attracted to them because, that's what people had expected of me.

Now I barely even think about girls. All of my attention is on boys. I have developed like three little crushes too. Sexual thinking is ll boys. From the time that I saw porn it was gay. I have only seen straight like twice. Plus I was looking at the dude the whole time.

If you had asked me three years ago where I wanted to be in 15 years I would have said happily married with four children and a rich wife. Now I would say with a boy being happier than I ever could be. I don't think about me with a girl, and whenever someone mentions 'when Alex get's a girlfriend' I mentally roll my eyes, because there is not a chance I will get a girlfriend. But a chance that I will get a boyfriend.

[chargersfan]

well I know I am either Gay or Bi. I have had some pretty strong crushes on girls, but that was mostly before puberty. I had one while I was starting puberty, but I didn't have any sexual attraction whatsoever. I also threw the word 'love' around like it meant nothing, so I was pretty sure when i said I loved them, I really just loved them as a friend, and though I was very emotionally attracted to them because, that's what people had expected of me.

Now I barely even think about girls. All of my attention is on boys. I have developed like three little crushes too. Sexual thinking is ll boys. From the time that I saw porn it was gay. I have only seen straight like twice. Plus I was looking at the dude the whole time.

If you had asked me three years ago where I wanted to be in 15 years I would have said happily married with four children and a rich wife. Now I would say with a boy being happier than I ever could be. I don't think about me with a girl, and whenever someone mentions 'when Alex get's a girlfriend' I mentally roll my eyes, because there is not a chance I will get a girlfriend. But a chance that I will get a boyfriend.

Well If we wanna use the Kinsey scale you are somewhere between a 4 and a 5. You are mostly gay, but you might see a girl and be like "You are hot, I wanna (Insert Sexual act here) you right now" Sexuality contrary to what some people believe, actually can change (Just not in the way that the anti-gay religious groups say it does)
You might be more sexually attracted to boys now, you might still be 10 years from now, but 20 years from now you might feel yourself being more attracted to women, 30 years from now you might find yourself only occasionally being aroused by guys. What doesn't happen is somebody goes from being completely gay only being attracted to the same gender, going to being completely straight only being attracted to the opposite gender overnight because they found Jesus or something like that. But puberty is not the only time where sexuality is indefinite, it's just the extreme of sexual ambivalence.

Anyways, I always remember this even though I'm going through a time where I want to be with somebody I'm not sure is gay or straight, I figure I'm going to end up with somebody I love regardless, it's just a matter of when I find them.

[Bazinga]

I'd say im Bi but definitely more gay... about 80% gay 20% straight. I've had way more crushes on girls (not sexual) than boys but still think i'm more gay and way more likely to go for a boyfriend than girlfriend when I come out. Only thing is I really can't see myself living with a man when im -40-50-60+ so I don't really know what im gunna do :what:

[sqishy]

When you are uncertain about what your sexuality is, it can be very scary and very hard. But here's some tips that I have for some of you.

1)If you find yourself attracted to boys and are wondering if you are just curious or are actually gay, ask yourself if you are attracted to the opposite sex, if you answer yes, then you definitely are not gay, you might be Bi however, or maybe just curious. But If you find yourself attracted to the opposite sex it is impossible to be gay.

2)Did you ever have any crushes on the same sex BEFORE puberty, I have had crushes on same sex peers from as early as age 7, I didn't even know about sex or anything, but I never had one on any girls and had several on guys. If you have had crushes on same sex peers before puberty, I'm going to guess that you are in fact gay or Bi.

3)What Gender could you see yourself living with? Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with a boy? Or with a girl? Or both?

I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, but while I'm still in the closet I know myself and my sexuality very well, (I'm Gay) and if any of you guys want me to help you figure out your sexuality I'm happy to help you on this thread or you can message me. But while you may not be able to determine what your sexuality is for a few years, you can at least determine what your sexuality isn't right now. And you can almost always come up with 2, or at most 3 different possibilities of what your sexuality is.

Great info and help. More should see this.

I had a go at the Kinsley Scale in July and got a 6. Could be a 5 though, idk.

[chargersfan]

I'd say im Bi but definitely more gay... about 80% gay 20% straight. I've had way more crushes on girls (not sexual) than boys but still think i'm more gay and way more likely to go for a boyfriend than girlfriend when I come out. Only thing is I really can't see myself living with a man when im -40-50-60+ so I don't really know what im gunna do :what:

I kind of think the same thing when I'm old to, but it's mostly only because I can't imagine myself being attracted to somebody my age when I'm like 70! Eww. But I think when you are old, other old people don't look as bad.

[Alex_3869]

Yeah, can you see yourself with an old woman now? i hope the answer is no. However, when you are in your teenage years, a teenager seems attractive to you. When you are 30, another person around your age will seem attractive to you, and when your 70 another person around 70 will be attractive to you etc. etc. When your 70 you won't go around talking about how attractive the 14 year old kids are, just like when your 14 you don't go around saying how attractive the 70 year old person is.

I hope that made some sort of logical sense.

[chargersfan]

Yeah, can you see yourself with an old woman now? i hope the answer is no. However, when you are in your teenage years, a teenager seems attractive to you. When you are 30, another person around your age will seem attractive to you, and when your 70 another person around 70 will be attractive to you etc. etc. When your 70 you won't go around talking about how attractive the 14 year old kids are, just like when your 14 you don't go around saying how attractive the 70 year old person is.

I hope that made some sort of logical sense.

That's not always true, If you've ever heard the term "sugar daddy" where a 22 year old and a 70 year old get married. Most older people still find young people attractive, but they are also able to be attracted to someone of there age, it could be for various reasons, sexual being only one of them.

BUT keep this in mind, if you have ever watched porn (Which 90% of people on VT have) remember that a lot of the actors in these films are over 30, especially in gay porn, I've seen guys in films who are probably around 40 and found them to be attractive, but sexual attraction and relationship compatibility are very different. But I know from my dad and grandpa who still talk about hot young chicks all the time, both happily married of course, but they still find younger girls attractive. (Like 21-30)

[Bazinga]

That's not always true, If you've ever heard the term "sugar daddy" where a 22 year old and a 70 year old get married. Most older people still find young people attractive, but they are also able to be attracted to someone of there age, it could be for various reasons, sexual being only one of them.

BUT keep this in mind, if you have ever watched porn (Which 90% of people on VT have) remember that a lot of the actors in these films are over 30, especially in gay porn, I've seen guys in films who are probably around 40 and found them to be attractive, but sexual attraction and relationship compatibility are very different. But I know from my dad and grandpa who still talk about hot young chicks all the time, both happily married of course, but they still find younger girls attractive. (Like 21-30)

I get what you mean because obviously there is guys aged 30-40 that I see on TV and irl and find them attractive but its more emotional that I don't seem feels right for me. I think its bc i don't personally know of anyone in a gay relationship aged 30+ so I'm not really familiar with them? All I'm used to is seeing gay relationship aged 30+ on the TV and generally characters who're gay on screen often fit alot of stereotypes and I don't find them attractive so I think thats probably why they dont appeal to me yet. I think I used to feel like that about gay teen relationships aswell when i was younger until I seen people who didn't fit all the stereotypes and were still gay in relationships.
And I've never really had that many crushes on boys yet to start with so you could say I'm abit 'inexperienced' in emotional attraction to boys atm hahaha.

[Throwaway24]

If u like:
Same sex=gay/lez
Other sex=str8
both=bi
unsure=curious
don't care= pansexual
Neither=Asexuality

Hope that helps

[chargersfan]

I get what you mean because obviously there is guys aged 30-40 that I see on TV and irl and find them attractive but its more emotional that I don't seem feels right for me. I think its bc i don't personally know of anyone in a gay relationship aged 30+ so I'm not really familiar with them? All I'm used to is seeing gay relationship aged 30+ on the TV and generally characters who're gay on screen often fit alot of stereotypes and I don't find them attractive so I think thats probably why they dont appeal to me yet. I think I used to feel like that about gay teen relationships aswell when i was younger until I seen people who didn't fit all the stereotypes and were still gay in relationships.
And I've never really had that many crushes on boys yet to start with so you could say I'm abit 'inexperienced' in emotional attraction to boys atm hahaha.

I don't know anybody in a gay relationship period. I guess I know of a few people but nobody who I actually interact with often.

[Alex_3869]

What I was trying to say is that, maybe they would find them attractive, but not necessarily... able to be with them. Compatibility and emotional connection

[chargersfan]

What I was trying to say is that, maybe they would find them attractive, but not necessarily... able to be with them. Compatibility and emotional connection

Yeah obviously, a 20 year old is almost always at a different maturity level as a 40 year old.