My Dad Makes me Feel Worthless

[Alex_3869]

My father is one of the most unexplainable people in the world. He does nice things for me. He buys nice things for me.

and he is the worst human I have ever met.

Whenever I listen to music I like he makes fun of me, and makes me feel ashamed of what I like. Whenever I dance or sing to it he calls me gay or queer or a little girl. When I don't follow his every order he turns into Satan himself. He has hit me. Whenever he is done yelling at me I go to my room and I cry because he makes me feel worthless.

Then when I'm in my room he comes in and yells at me more intensely for what seems like hours. I have had two mental breakdowns because f this. I don't really remember the first one but the most recent one, (may or so) my mom was not at home and it got REALLY intense. I felt like I was going to die. He was screaming for four hours in the middle of the night. I barricaded myself in my room and FaceTimed my mom, and I was screaming.

I was screaming because I didn't want to live with him anymore, how I hated him, how he makes me feel worthless, how he does not love me. I had a searing headache and I literally thought about suicide. But I found the better things in life, not to mention this site to vent upon and ask for advice.

If you have read all of this I thank you, and any advice, or uplifting comments will be appreciated greatly. I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Steve Jobs]

I've been in the same boat as you. Trust me, your dad probably does mean good for you. You're his son, he provides for you, obviously he cares. He just wants to best out of his kid, and well, parents are humans too and they aren't always perfect.

My dad's treated me like trash on many occasions, called me useless and almost driven me (and my sister too) out of the house. He's yelled and acted bitterly towards me for days and days on end till I've been afraid to go home. But at the end of the day, we don't always agree on everything, but we're family.

Sometimes having a little chat to him when he's in a good mood helps. Talk about what he likes, ask him what he's done and try and learn the good from him. Even if he isn't the best dad ever, he'll feel respected if you look up to him and see the good. Then learn, and teach yourself how to be a better dad to your kids further down the road.
:bigsmile:

[Living For Love]

I feel so sorry for you.

I have more a less the same problem, but with my mom, not my dad.
It's really complicated. The stupid comments about me and my life I can stand, but when she tries to psychologically torture me by shouting and yelling and repeatedly saying I'm useless and worthless, it's just too much.

We just need to ignore and focus on our lives, on what's really important. I would already have done something really drastic and extreme, but then I remember I have too many dreams to follow, so I keep going. That's what you also need to do. Keep going. Cling to something that makes you happy. I know this will eventually change, it can't be like this forever, so maybe there's no need to think about it too much. Wish you luck.

[Loner_97]

Maybe talking to him will help.
If it doesn't then why not take your mom's help?
Maybe your dad is frustrated about something else. Try looking at life from his point of view.
Whatever happens your parents love you. They just do.

[NeuroTiger]

First scenario:
Maybe you are being too afraid of him. He wants to see the man in you; a friend for him.

Second scenario:
Maybe he wants to vent out his frustration. He too is human. Probably he is under lots of life pressures and you are being the scapegoat, unfortunately.

In either way, conversation is the key word. Open yourself to him. Ask him about his day at work or whatsoever...be friendly. Try to start listening the music he likes and seethe result, just for a trial. Maybe it can help, who knows?...
Good luck dude...be strong! You'll definitely get out of this ordeal. Whenever you want to talk, feel Free to PM. I'm available. :) :) :)

[Katiya]

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's wrong. My dads like that.

His bilitaling me and fighting and yelling at me every day have been the source of many migraines for me. I understand. All I can say is I stopped telling my parents anything, I mean anything, what Ilike what iI don't like. I keep my music private, buy my own stuff with my own money. Stay in my room or out of the house.

[Alex_3869]

Wow, thank you to all of you who have responded. I am glad to hear how much support i have out of people I don't even know. It really helps this situation. And to everyone who has said that their father (or mother) treats them the same way, I am sorry you have to go through it, but you always have me (and each other) to connect to.

The advice is very great, and self empowering. Reading all of you say that we need to focus on our own lives, and how it gets better down the road.

i do feel like i am having a lot of pressure put on me. I have always had the better grades out of me and my sister and I have been a much better example to set on the public stage for them. (For example, if they had to go to a very social and important event for them, and they had to choose one child to go who would make the most lasting impression, it would be me.) I am in the pre IB program at my school, so they expect a lot from me.

My dad and mom sometimes say that they don't know how I can be so respectful and polite to complete strangers and people who I see on a regular basis but do not live with, but not respectful to them, and I believe that it is the fact that, people who treat me with respect, get respectful treatment back to them from me!

[Steve Jobs]

:bigsmile:

[Seth Green]

He calls you a worthless son because he's afraid he's a worthless dad. Which he probably is.

[Alex_3869]

He calls you a worthless son because he's afraid he's a worthless dad. Which he probably is.

I like that one :)

[sqishy]

First scenario:
Maybe you are being too afraid of him. He wants to see the man in you; a friend for him.

Second scenario:
Maybe he wants to vent out his frustration. He too is human. Probably he is under lots of life pressures and you are being the scapegoat, unfortunately.

In either way, conversation is the key word. Open yourself to him. Ask him about his day at work or whatsoever...be friendly. Try to start listening the music he likes and seethe result, just for a trial. Maybe it can help, who knows?...
Good luck dude...be strong! You'll definitely get out of this ordeal. Whenever you want to talk, feel Free to PM. I'm available. :) :) :)

Great advice. Hope that things get better.
*hugs*

[Alex_3869]

Great advice. Hope that things get better.
*hugs*

haha thanks. Just gotta stay positive!
*hugs back*

[skittles_was_here]

the same thing has and still is happening to me, when i was younger my stepdad crushed all my hopes and dreams and abused me. now that he's gone my dad has started doing the same thing.

but you can do something about it. surround yourself with people who support you, maybe find a counselor. do what i never did and stand up for yourself.

[Alex_3869]

the same thing has and still is happening to me, when i was younger my stepdad crushed all my hopes and dreams and abused me. now that he's gone my dad has started doing the same thing.

but you can do something about it. surround yourself with people who support you, maybe find a counselor. do what i never did and stand up for yourself.

I have tried to stand up for myself. It works sometimes and it doesn't work others. I hope your situation starts to get better!

[PinkFloyd]

I've been in the same boat as you. Trust me, your dad probably does mean good for you. You're his son, he provides for you, obviously he cares. He just wants to best out of his kid, and well, parents are humans too and they aren't always perfect.

My dad's treated me like trash on many occasions, called me useless and almost driven me (and my sister too) out of the house. He's yelled and acted bitterly towards me for days and days on end till I've been afraid to go home. But at the end of the day, we don't always agree on everything, but we're family.

Sometimes having a little chat to him when he's in a good mood helps. Talk about what he likes, ask him what he's done and try and learn the good from him. Even if he isn't the best dad ever, he'll feel respected if you look up to him and see the good. Then learn, and teach yourself how to be a better dad to your kids further down the road.
:bigsmile:

Wow, man. This is really good. My response was going to be to talk to a school counsler or another trusted adult , but that idea doesn't look nearly as good as yours.