Sparking The Confidence?

[Joey.]

Hi Everyone! I'm fairly new to this forum
so any pointers of the sort would be great..

Anyways, on to my problem:

About a year or two ago, i finally accepted me being gay, not that i was ever ashamed, but you know how puberty works..
Now that i am comfortable with being gay, I feel like my life will be 1000x better if I do come out.
I know that some may say "well you just now accepted it, and it takes time, don't rush it" but, thats not what i'm doing, I want to be happy and not worry about having to hide my sexuality.
I was teased about being gay my whole life, and I would always deny it because, I just thought it was a phase.
The way my school is, the word "gay" is thrown around very lightly, and I worry that if I do come out, I will get teased for the rest of my highschool career..
I always have them days where i'm like okay i can do this; I'm going to do this.
But there is a little voice in my head saying, you will lose everything. My mother is not religious, nor is she homophobic, but she always says to me asking, when are you gonna get a girlfriend?
She always mentions that she wants a grandchild when I get older.. and thats just not something i'm interested in.

The bottom line question is, how can you spark the confidence to have that "I don't give a ____" attitude and come out and deal with what hits you?

I will appreciate every piece of advice i get from you all.. Thanks! :)

[NikosamA98]

Well...coming out of the closet does not necessarily have to be you yelling "Hey world I'm gay". You can start just not denying it like if your mom asks for your girlfriend, you tell her "mom I'm not gonna get a girlfriend, I like boys" and same with your friends and whoever asks you something like that. You don't have to hide who you are but you don't need to go everywhere yelling "I'm gay"

[Living For Love]

It's really hard to simply ignore what people say about you, but you just need to do what makes you feel happy. It's true, you will probably be teased for the rest of your highschool career, but if you never come out, you will never find someone to build a relationship with.
About the fact that your mum wants a grandchild, I guess you just need to tell her that you won't be able to satisfy her wish, unless you have brothers or cousins.

Anyway, what could people tell you? Before you realised you were homosexual, they would call you gay because it was offensive, but now that you really are, I guess it won't have the same impact. Of course they could start to spread stupid jokes about you, but at least you had the courage to do something that I'm sure many people would want to and just can't.

I've never met anyone gay in real life (at least that I know), but there's a boy in a school near mine that's gay and totally open about it. He said he was gay in his Facebook, 50% of the people he knows support him, the other 50% hate him. But he just keeps living and totally ignores the people that don't like him. When people joke about him, he jokes back. I don't know how he does it, but he does. If you want I could ask him how he "survives".

Whatever you do, remember that you need to live the way it makes you happy, not the way society wants you to be.

[Joey.]

Well...coming out of the closet does not necessarily have to be you yelling "Hey world I'm gay". You can start just not denying it like if your mom asks for your girlfriend, you tell her "mom I'm not gonna get a girlfriend, I like boys" and same with your friends and whoever asks you something like that. You don't have to hide who you are but you don't need to go everywhere yelling "I'm gay"
My main thing i want out of this, is to be happy and speak freely.. etc
I do believe that if she brings it up again will be
the perfect time to tell her.
Thanks for the reply! :)
It's really hard to simply ignore what people say about you, but you just need to do what makes you feel happy. It's true, you will probably be teased for the rest of your highschool career, but if you never come out, you will never find someone to build a relationship with.
About the fact that your mum wants a grandchild, I guess you just need to tell her that you won't be able to satisfy her wish, unless you have brothers or cousins.

Anyway, what could people tell you? Before you realised you were homosexual, they would call you gay because it was offensive, but now that you really are, I guess it won't have the same impact. Of course they could start to spread stupid jokes about you, but at least you had the courage to do something that I'm sure many people would want to and just can't.

I've never met anyone gay in real life (at least that I know), but there's a boy in a school near mine that's gay and totally open about it. He said he was gay in his Facebook, 50% of the people he knows support him, the other 50% hate him. But he just keeps living and totally ignores the people that don't like him. When people joke about him, he jokes back. I don't know how he does it, but he does. If you want I could ask him how he "survives".

Whatever you do, remember that you need to live the way it makes you happy, not the way society wants you to be.
Yeah that is so true, because then it was hurtful,
it doesn't affect me at all when people ask me if I
am gay, but i automaticly deny it..
I know 1 guy in my school that is openly gay,
and has been since his freshman year (senior now)
I don't know if he get's teased,
but It seems like he hasn't because he has a huge support system.
Thanks for the reply! :)

[Loner_97]

You know admitting is one thing and letting the world know is different.
about your mother, kids can be adopted as well.
When someone asks you if you are gay, admit it.
You will probably be an inspiration to others as well.
So what if people make fun of you? they will eventually grow up and realize being a jerk is not cool. So you have to be patient.

[Joey.]

You know admitting is one thing and letting the world know is different.
about your mother, kids can be adopted as well.
When someone asks you if you are gay, admit it.
You will probably be an inspiration to others as well.
So what if people make fun of you? they will eventually grow up and realize being a jerk is not cool. So you have to be patient.

Thanks! you are so right..
The process may take a while,
But no need to rush it :)

[Ariesboy]

You know admitting is one thing and letting the world know is different.
about your mother, kids can be adopted as well.
When someone asks you if you are gay, admit it.
You will probably be an inspiration to others as well.
So what if people make fun of you? they will eventually grow up and realize being a jerk is not cool. So you have to be patient.

Yeah bro, she is right. Its all up to you. There really is no rush. When you feel the time is right it will come naturalley. You wont have to pick n choose certin days to tell ppl. It will happen on its own. Just be sou man. Live your life the way you want to, and dont get caughr up in the details of your sexuality TOO much. ;)

[Verminicious Knid]

Generally what's been said before. You don't need to proclaim it to the world. Just tell a few close friends. Hope it works out! :)

[Throwaway24]

U don't need to tell everyone about it, just tell ur closest friends. U may also want to sit down with ur mum and talk to her about it. Tell her how u feel and she will be happy for u. I bet u she will stop asking if u have a girlfriend yet and start going on about boyfriends. I have found the reason parents keep going on about relationships is to make sure their kid isn't lonely or really confused in their head and just need a helpful push and it works but only if needed. In a nut shell only tell the people that u really care about and really care about u. U don't need to tell the whole world and talk to ur mum. Things will be fine.

Also if people start treating u like dirt because of it give them a good push in the face from me. Thanks :)

[Joey.]

U don't need to tell everyone about it, just tell ur closest friends. U may also want to sit down with ur mum and talk to her about it. Tell her how u feel and she will be happy for u. I bet u she will stop asking if u have a girlfriend yet and start going on about boyfriends. I have found the reason parents keep going on about relationships is to make sure their kid isn't lonely or really confused in their head and just need a helpful push and it works but only if needed. In a nut shell only tell the people that u really care about and really care about u. U don't need to tell the whole world and talk to ur mum. Things will be fine.

Also if people start treating u like dirt because of it give them a good push in the face from me. Thanks :)

Well I do feel like i'm ready (not rushing it)
i'm ready to tell my mom,
It's just when as of now..
And really just how to tell her.
It's just not something that comes up in a conversation often. :P
Honestly, I don't think she will mind it,
it's just the self conscious about rejection.

Appreciate the reply! :)

[Throwaway24]

Well I do feel like i'm ready (not rushing it)
i'm ready to tell my mom,
It's just when as of now..
And really just how to tell her.
It's just not something that comes up in a conversation often. :P
Honestly, I don't think she will mind it,
it's just the self conscious about rejection.

Appreciate the reply! :)

Just one afternoon when things are quite and nothing new is going on that's when u sit down with her and talk about it. It is a lot like 'the talk'. Hard to start it but once u break the ice everything fits into place

[Joey.]

Just one afternoon when things are quite and nothing new is going on that's when u sit down with her and talk about it. It is a lot like 'the talk'. Hard to start it but once u break the ice everything fits into place

Thats my problem,
"Breaking the ice" :P

[Throwaway24]

Thats my problem,
"Breaking the ice" :P

I promise it is easier then u think. Might be really obvious but a good first line is to not beat around the bush and just say r u gay

[merlin1]

You know admitting is one thing and letting the world know is different.
about your mother, kids can be adopted as well.
When someone asks you if you are gay, admit it.
You will probably be an inspiration to others as well.
So what if people make fun of you? they will eventually grow up and realize being a jerk is not cool. So you have to be patient.

What she said,seriously. If I was in your position and I knew 100% I was gay I'd tell only the people I trust first. So your closest friends.
As for your mother, she probably joking about the girlfriends thing, and as for wanting a grandchild, that's not really her choice to make. I'm sure she will be accepting of your sexuality.

Also if people at your school find out and they asking you're gay just say yes. Its them who need to change to suit you not you to please them. If they annoy you, just totally ignore them. If you can, do what I do and put headphones in so I don't hear them been rude making the easier to ignore them.