Rant

[Silent Tears]

Okay. I've posted about my dad on here before. About him sexualy abusing me in the past, and how I've been going out of my mind... thinking that he felt bad about what he did to me, and since he stopped.. its okay to forget about it. I keep wanting to tell someone, but I dont. Because I'm scared of what would happen to him.

Yesterday, me and him were bickering over random stuff, as usual. My sister in law was over, to see this. He started being sarcastic, and telling her "I'm glad that she(me) is so grateful, for all the sacrifices I've made for her" (He's made sarcasic comments about me being ungrateful before to)and that he has "failed as a parent" Seriously? After the hell he put me through... I should be GRATEFUL?!?! After going out of my mind, everday, lieing to people to keep his secret... the fact that he used his only daughter for sex for years... I should be grateful?!?!?! I cry myself to sleep, and get nightmares of him every night... and I should be grateful? Why the hell am i keeping his secret, then? Obviously, he doesnt care and has made himself forget what he did pretty damn well.

[Katiya]

No you have no reason to be greatful for that. My parents use that guilt trip on me all the time. I understand not wanting to get your dad in trouble. Because if you do tell the person has to report it. Unless you have a trusted friend that's not in any working field and you trust them.

Its just another sick guilt trip. Don't worry about it. You haven't done anything wrong. He's the one who should be greatful that you haven't told anyone and for that he isn't in jail right now.

[Katiya]

I just want you to know I understand the feeling of what he says. My dad says that about me in public and then the other person(s) go "you should be glad you have such caring parents, shame on you!". And ofourse I'dlove to blurt out all the things hhe's done and how my family is anything but wonderful. But I can't say it. I just have to say, I'm sorry I'm an awful kid. And nothing is more sickening inside then having to say that. Then being told that I should be glad by other people. It really really hurts!

So I get it. And its totally wrong for your dad to say that and anyone else's parents to say that. Try not to beat your self up for it even tho its hard not to. You aren't the only one, and you aren't alone. It's just a guilt trip ment to destroy you. Don't let him destroy you! Show him he can't break you. That's what I try to do everyday BC if I fall he wins and he doesn't deserve to win. And your dad Certainly does not deserve to win.

[AdrianField]

I have disconnected from my father sometimes you have to forgive and leave them alone. Which is harder in your case but not impossible. I have mixed feelings about reporting too. My uncle is in jail for 16 years for what he did to my cousins.

[elmoc]

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with his hypocrisy. It is bad enough that you had to suffer the abuse, but if he expects you to act privileged to be his child (& abuse victim) he obviously has no sincere remorse. I hope you can find a counselor of some sort to talk to. Yes, they have to report you (in most states in the USA), but you don't have to tell a counselor WHO the abuser was. That way, you can get the support that you need, & decide later about reporting him, Please protect yourself & keep safe.

[Dark Unicorn]

Are you kidding me?!It's not something that YOU should be gratedful for.You are a strong young lady and your father is in the wrong here.Stay strong and I know this is going to sound very random but if you feel you need to talk you can send me a message.Stay beautiful and best wishes.