im done with this

[Axw_JD]

I'm done, I'm tired of all the bullcrap. Life doesn't get better, not for me at least, it.baits you with a glimmer of hope then shoots at you squarely in the chest as it takes it away to remind you how crappy things really are.

I am the most annoying, childish, useless piece of shit in the planet and nobody wants me around. There is no point being alive when nobody wants you to be.

I'm crying right now not just from the pain but out of anger at myself, for not having the balls to just kill myself already. I hope I can summon the courage tonight, I don't wanna live another day.

[theatreguy]

Could I ask you a favor?

Could you read this?

Please?

http://mattfraction.com/post/63999786236/sorry-to-put-this-on-you-but-i-have-an-honest-question


There are people who care about you, even if you don't think so.

[Axw_JD]

There aren't. That's exactly what happened, that's the fact life slapped me with a couple of minutes ago.

I have nothing no cling to, not any more. I tried as hard as I could, I thought I had made it, but it was all a lie... I failed, I have nothing left. I could kill myself right now (and I would if I could but I can't because I'm a useless coward) and if it wasn't because my body would eventually start to smell and stink the whole place, nobody would even care to bury me, there would be no funeral, maybe a party but nothing else.

[emansubzero]

Tell me something... What are the things about you that you feel people don't like about you? Then tell me something else... What are the things about you that you or people around you like?

[Axw_JD]

According to my so-called best friend there is nothing to like and everything to hate... That's why I just wanna give up..

[emansubzero]

That's. not what I asked. I feel like its more important to like yourself than to allow others to tell you how you feel about yourself. If you can find at least one thing that you think you can do well then you can start building better relationships with those around you... starting with me. If you can't find anyone else to talk to then I would be happy to be your friend in your time of need and beyond. If you want my number to txt me just ask because I care about your precious life.

[Its Pretty]

That's. not what I asked. I feel like its more important to like yourself than to allow others to tell you how you feel about yourself. If you can find at least one thing that you think you can do well then you can start building better relationships with those around you... starting with me. If you can't find anyone else to talk to then I would be happy to be your friend in your time of need and beyond. If you want my number to txt me just ask because I care about your precious life.

Rather then living for the appreciation of other people, why not live for yourself? YOLO right? Why bother having people need you? You are you because you say you are you. Not because someone else says so. "self" is a concept formed by the self, not someone else, so why bother to define it by any other terms?

[ksdnfkfr]

I'm crying right now not just from the pain but out of anger at myself, for not having the balls to just kill myself already. I hope I can summon the courage tonight, I don't wanna live another day.

You have it backwards.
Not giving in is what takes courage.
Not giving up is what takes balls.

[NeuroTiger]

Is your life for you or for the others? Of course it's for you.
Then, why do u care what others say about you.
You are you.
Stand up and face life dude!
You did mention that when u think of doing great, life becomes bad again. But each time you tried to make your life great, it is you've managed to stand up though u fell again and again u stand up. You struggled! That's a true life warrior!!!
Remember: "our courage is measured by how we get up every time we fell,in life"
Show your courage! You CAN do it!!!

[ksdnfkfr]

Is your life for you or for the others? Of course it's for you.

100%

Screw the others.

[EpicTaco]

... please reply D:
Add me on Skype if it's the last thing you do, this entire forum is here for you.

[Katiya]

Its really hard but living for your self is the idea. Be selfish and keep everything to your self and only do what's in your best iinterest. Screw every one else.
People were nasty to me when I was kind, they would stab me in the back and say I just have to learn to live for my thoughts BC no one likes me. So that's exactly what I did! Now they hate me for being selfish and not helping them when they need it and I love it! I just say "your the ass hole so made me this way remember?" It was your advice so that's what I'm doing, living for my self and no one else. Good luck with your problem." It really feels so good to say that and just leave them hanging on their problems just like they did you.

I'm an advocate of 'do onto others as they do onto you'. Rather than as you want to be treated because people treat you like dirt anyway and use you.

Try living for that. It helped me, I don't care if I am selfish, that's what all those people were to me before, why should I help backstabbers? I'm still nice to the people who I know are good people. I just ignore the suky ones.
Live for the day they need something from you and get a taste of their own medicine. Try that approach ;)

[EpicTaco]

Unfortunately, we're probably too late...

[Axw_JD]

For better or worse it isn't too late... I'm too much of a coward to kill myself apparently....

Yesterday and the day before I had an awesome couple days with my best friend, we spent pretty much the whole time together and it was a lot of fun and at least while it was going on I felt like maybe life was worth it after all, that at least for him my life was important... But from the days before that I keep feeling like it isn't, like he takes me for granted at times and it is a really depressing thought...

I don't like being mean to anyone at all... I have one friend(at least sometimes I feel like I do) and I don't think I could do without him I feel lonely enough as it is... I guess I am being selfish after all but I honestly care about him more than myself...

Idk how else to explain it... I probably will come back and edit this later when I am thinking a little bit more clear...

[Berad]

How old are you, if I may ask?

[Axw_JD]

Why does it matter?

I don't wanna give out too much personal information... Last thing I need is someone I know reading anything I post :/

[Axw_JD]

Right now I feel like what little was left of my spirit was destroyed, that I am broken beyond repair...

[emansubzero]

You know what really upsets me about all this...? You have yet to give any of us the chance to befriend you and be the kind of person it sounds like you need right now. Why give up hope on yourself if you're not willing to let anyone else have hope for you. We here at VT are all part of the same family who all care about each other in a way that can not be easily explained. Although we not actually know each other, we are all connected through our troubles and we can all help each other if given the chance. Please let us in.

[Axw_JD]

Its not that I don't wanna give anyone the chance is that I know it isn't the same... I would be just as alone whenever I'm not in front of the computer and in a way I'm afraid of history repeating itself, this time with an online friend and adding yet another reason why I shouldn't even be alive anymore...besides nobody understands how it feels, if you did you would be in my shoes right now considering the exact same things and wondering what the point of going through another day is...

[schoolgirlz]

Please don't kill yourself. When I was 15 I was anorexic and I tried to kill myself because I thought i was so ugly. When i recovered I learned that oppertunities come and suicide doesn't help.

[YOUR BROTHER]

Just don't do Anything you might regret.... kk buddy life is a gift and you should appreciate that a lot of people care enough for you to tell you not to do it... so depression happens to a lot of people. Its just how you deal with it .. and trust me killing your self is not the way just talk to your family and you'll see that every one loves you ...