EX TEACHER, want me as a friend or want to end up in bed? meet at my place, hugs etc?

[AnderssonHT]

If you and your former teacher take a coffee in your apartment, lunchtime, and now decided to do it again soon (in beginning of november, he had a lot at work with tests etc right now, and we can only meet on time gaps) - what would you think?

This teacher always hugged you in school in his office - close twoarmed hugs, cheek to cheek. Also placed a hand on your waist as respons when you placed a hand on his shoulder or after hugs. Often he hugs you several times in a row. And he often takes your hand/hands after hugs. Smiling. He did the same thing after the coffee in the apartment - 3 hugs in a row, took hands. You answered. Then he said you two could meet again a day when there's more time.

You share the same interests in specific subjects (that's why you talked so often in his office). He has said several times you're his best student ever, you're not like everyone else, you enrich him etc. Has comment your body like "there's no many gram too much there" smiling.

You're 19, he's 55+ and married, has adopted young children.
It's in Sweden, you're both swedish, so hugs etc are not really in the culture.
You graduated in June, in the apartment was first time you two meet after graduation.

Is he friendly and fatherly or flirty and hoping to end up in bed soon?
I think he feels flirty actually, but seems like he takes it slowly. Although he's friendly too. Does he take it slow because he's not sure about how I see it? What do you think?

[Amazerful]

I think he is just waiting for you to give some sign back that you have the same intentions but this whole situation just seems weird to me

[AnderssonHT]

I think he is just waiting for you to give some sign back that you have the same intentions but this whole situation just seems weird to me

Yes, I feel it is weird too. I answer his hugs though + invited him home to me. He would know. But I guess I need to do something more concrete next time.

[Amazerful]

Yes, I feel it is weird too. I answer his hugs though + invited him home to me. He would know. But I guess I need to do something more concrete next time.

Just stop inviting him over

[AnderssonHT]

Well... No one really answer. Here's more background details. Hopefully it'll help. It's long I know, but just read if you're want to help!

So...

I had him as a teacher two years as total. The first year he was just a "normal" teacher to me, he often said my work was good etc., but nothing flirty or so. In the autumn 2012 he asked me if I wanted to read his courses (which we should have next year) before the others. I said I wanted that. Reading courses before the others led to more alone time with him plus we had contact by e-mail (his private e-mail) during that summer, e-mailed a lot about random stuff, not just school. In the autumn I also got him as my tutor for project work.

All this led to some alone meetings + we discovered that we've got a lot of common interests in specific subjects. Which led to a lot of meetings. He started to hug me etc. During the winter/beginning of spring and since then we talked very often, like almost every week, for some time in his office. And he always hugged me etc. - but only when the door to his office was closed, never in the corridor or something, and even for instance when I just went to ask him a question in like 5 minutes or handed in an exam at his office.
We also often read and comment poetry, sayings etc together at his office. (Which he has said him and his wife used to do before they had kids...).
He also gave me a present once, a gift check on books - after I said no when he said he wanted to give me money because I let him copy some pages from a book I've got.
Another time wanted us to stay and talk despite the fact that the firealarm went on, which we did - and he joked a little about how "hot" it was in the room.

Then during the spring it escalate, I think - with lots of hugs in a row, hand on waist often as respons for intance if I placed a hand on his shoulder, he also said several times we should keep contact after I graduated, he took my hands etc.
And for instance one time about 5-6 hugs and we both almost started to "laugh" about it. He got red in his face, smiled very big, bit his lip etc.
He also often/or at least sometimes places his hand around his belt after hugging or between hugs? A bit werid, or it's nothing.

The last time we meet at his office, some days before the graduation, I asked him if he wanted to take a coffee or something some time. He said he wanted that, smiling a lot. That "meeting" in his office were about 5-10 minutes maybe, and almost during the whole time he held my hand/hands - which was a bit weird? and hugged me as usual, close. I answered, as always.

And well... then we e-mailed a little and decided to take the coffee in the autumn. At first we said in the city. Then when the autumn closed in on I said he could choose if he wanted to take the coffee at my apartment or in the city. (I had before that told him that I've moved to my apartment (before I lived with parents)).

[AnderssonHT]

Just stop inviting him over

But I like him. Although I don't know what he wants. Seems flirty, but I'm not sure.

[Amazerful]

But I like him. Although I don't know what he wants. Seems flirty, but I'm not sure.

He is obviously flirting and is looking for something more, I suggest you make your intentions known before he gains more feelings for you

[AnderssonHT]

He is obviously flirting and is looking for something more, I suggest you make your intentions known before he gains more feelings for you

Yes. I'm just afraid he don't want to and will turn me down.
I mean, he is married... why would he cheat on his wife.

[Amazerful]

Yes. I'm just afraid he don't want to and will turn me down.
I mean, he is married... why would he cheat on his wife.

Do you want a relationship with him? And married guys cheat all the time

[AnderssonHT]

Do you want a relationship with him? And married guys cheat all the time

Yes, a relationship or an affair.. Because I understand he wouldn't leave his family.. so an affair probably.
If he would risk that.

[Amazerful]

Yes, a relationship or an affair.. Because I understand he wouldn't leave his family.. so an affair probably.
If he would risk that.


By the signs he is giving I think he is willing to risk an affair. I honestly don't support infidelity but if its what you want then go for it. Just know there are consequences for your actions

[AnderssonHT]

By the signs he is giving I think he is willing to risk an affair. I honestly don't support infidelity but if its what you want then go for it. Just know there are consequences for your actions

I think so too.. But I'm not sure. He could be just very friendly?

[Amazerful]

His actions are beyond friendly , he had an obvious attraction towards you, its not normal for a former treacher to do things like that without a reason

[AnderssonHT]

His actions are beyond friendly , he had an obvious attraction towards you, its not normal for a former treacher to do things like that without a reason

No, I feel so too. But he might think I'm such a great student, so that's why he's hugging etc. But... probably not.. Why would he hug me etc and so much for that? And he should say it's inappropriate that he's coming home to me?

But what should I do? Because it seems he don't want to take the first move.

[Amazerful]

No, I feel so too. But he might think I'm such a great student, so that's why he's hugging etc. But... probably not.. Why would he hug me etc and so much for that? And he should say it's inappropriate that he's coming home to me?

But what should I do? Because it seems he don't want to take the first move.

I think you should just invite him over one day to talk about it, that would save you so much time even though it would probably start as an awkward conversation

[AnderssonHT]

I think you should just invite him over one day to talk about it, that would save you so much time even though it would probably start as an awkward conversation

We have decided to meet again in the beginning of november. He had a lot at work right now. So I do something then.
I was too nervous last time. He also seemed a bit nervous actually, at least the first 10 minutes or something.

But is it better to talk about it with him rather then for instance kiss him when he hugs me?

We haven't said to take a coffee or something this time, we only said we should meet, but it'll be coffee? Or what does he think?

[Amazerful]

I think that the next time you meet you could possibly kiss him on the cheek to show that you're interested if you don't want to talk to him about it. Its better yo talk about it because it saves you time and you can cleary know each others feelings instead of wasting time flirting and slowly making, progress. I also think that he said that he would like to meet you just because he wants to see you, without any excuse for it .

[AnderssonHT]

I think that the next time you meet you could possibly kiss him on the cheek to show that you're interested if you don't want to talk to him about it. Its better yo talk about it because it saves you time and you can cleary know each others feelings instead of wasting time flirting and slowly making, progress. I also think that he said that he would like to meet you just because he wants to see you, without any excuse for it .

Ok. Yes, we're always very close with faces when hugging actually. cheek to cheek etc. Last time it was more close then usual, I think. So kiss on the cheek would be easy, but I don't think that would say so much more then all the hugging do? Maybe if I kissed him on the mouth. But if I talk about it - how should I say?

What do you mean about that he wants to see me without any excuse for it?

[badthoughts]

Yes, a relationship or an affair.. Because I understand he wouldn't leave his family.. so an affair probably.
If he would risk that.

First and foremost, I completely and whole-heartedly disapprove of this. With that said, it's blatantly obvious that the man wants you, and clearly you have been decidedly receptive to his advances. The only thing left to do now is have a good old-fashioned secret liaison, a moonlight tryst, some foolish philandering, a little hanky panky, some Swedish skullduggery, a little impromptu infidelity,....I think you catch my drift.

Also, you mentioned he's taking it slow; yes, he's taking it slow because he knows how to do this. This ain't his first rodeo, ya know what I mean? Surely you know that...surely.

[TheBigUnit]

Ok. Yes, we're always very close with faces when hugging actually. cheek to cheek etc. Last time it was more close then usual, I think. So kiss on the cheek would be easy, but I don't think that would say so much more then all the hugging do? Maybe if I kissed him on the mouth. But if I talk about it - how should I say?

What do you mean about that he wants to see me without any excuse for it?

he is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you simple and put...people stop beating around the bush here and lets be real, if you are attracted to him do what you like just remember youll be ruining a marriage

[Mob Boss]

He's married... With children. Do you have no scruples at all? It's immoral. Age-wise, people will pull the love card, so whatever. But the man has a family; a wife and kids. Do you want to be the other woman? I understand how you could get caught up with knowing this intelligent, kind person with relatively similar tastes and such, but you need to stop reacting to him and enticing him. "I like him" isn't reason enough to destroy a marriage nor a family and any potentially his job. I realize you said previous student and you are 19, but that crosses an imaginary line that should always lie between students and their former, present and future teachers. I think you know if you continue feeding this it will lead to some terrible ending. There is hardly a glimpse of a positive outcome out of all this if you continue to indulge his advances. You're young. You have plenty of time to find a guy that doesn't have the symbol of a 'till death do us part' kind of love wrapped around a finger on his left hand, let alone the wee babies. Think first.