My Sister Asked if I was Gay

[Alex_3869]

So. I was in the TV room with my sister. I had drawn a couple of rainbows on me. And I have just come to terms with my sexuality like a week ago. I am kinda flamboyant, love lady gaga, and basically fit a lot of the stereotypes. So she said, 'Are you drawing all of these rainbows for gay rights cuz your gay?' and I said, 'um, no?' and she kind of just dropped it.
I'm wondering why, when I know I'm gay deep down, why I denied it immediately to my sister, who I'm pretty sure Im going to come out to first.

[Cognizant]

To me it just sounds like a spur "in the moment" defense reaction your body had. Before I came out I was very defensive about the topic of sexuality.

[fast8]

Yea that's just how i would have act to

[Living For Love]

It's normal if you reacted that way. Don't feel presured to talk about your sexuality with other people, it's something that only concerns you, and nobody else. Come out to her only when you feel ready.

[Bazinga]

Just because your comfortable with it yourself doesn't mean you should feel comfortable others knowing. I've known for like 4 years but don't want to tell anyone yet.

[NeuroTiger]

You were embarrassed and it's very normal since the topic is considered taboo.

[Harley Quinn]

I used to be like that that too, you've got so used to saying 'no' and denying that you're gay that you've just become accustomed to saying no. Maybe, subconsciously you don't want to tell her you're gay yet and that's okay too. One day, that 'no' will become a 'yes', it has with me. I used to be really defensive and it would just blurt out that no I wasn't gay. Now, it's like, hell yeah I'm gay. Just give yourself time to get more comfortable with who you are.

[sqishy]

I used to be like that that too, you've got so used to saying 'no' and denying that you're gay that you've just become accustomed to saying no. Maybe, subconsciously you don't want to tell her you're gay yet and that's okay too. One day, that 'no' will become a 'yes', it has with me. I used to be really defensive and it would just blurt out that no I wasn't gay. Now, it's like, hell yeah I'm gay. Just give yourself time to get more comfortable with who you are.

Yes. You can take it back, don't see it as a lost opportunity if you see it as such.
I am still on the edge of coming out. I have to override my almost instinctive hiding of my sexuality, because I don't need of want to anymore.

[kylem1229]

What everyone else said is correct. Pretty much is was very sudden and you wanted to defend yourself. Also could have been that alot of gay people are being picked on, and you wanted to sort of "Defend" yourself from that.

[Alex_3869]

Thanks everyone. Another thing kind of happened. So we were getting food from the kitchen at like 12:00 at nigh, so we were the only ones up, and I was in the pantry singing, (not different than I usually do) and she just reaches around me and says, pfft your gay. I don't know if it is exact or not, I'm pretty sure she knows, but...... Idk. I may have misheard exactly what she said. So yeah.
Thanks again for all of the advice!

[ksdnfkfr]

Thanks everyone. Another thing kind of happened. So we were getting food from the kitchen at like 12:00 at nigh, so we were the only ones up, and I was in the pantry singing, (not different than I usually do) and she just reaches around me and says, pfft your gay. I don't know if it is exact or not, I'm pretty sure she knows, but...... Idk. I may have misheard exactly what she said. So yeah.
Thanks again for all of the advice!

I think a sister is always going to be the first one to know. I don't think it is a matter of you having spilled the beans in any way, it is just that she is your sister and she knows you really really well. If it were me I would probably ask something like "so what if I was gay?" to see what she thinks about the idea.

[Alex_3869]

I think a sister is always going to be the first one to know. I don't think it is a matter of you having spilled the beans in any way, it is just that she is your sister and she knows you really really well. If it were me I would probably ask something like "so what if I was gay?" to see what she thinks about the idea.

That's really smart. I've read that same advice here but it slipped my mind when she brought it up. I think if she keeps bringing it up, I'll say that.

My extended family is very Catholic, but I got lucky, my immediate family, broke from that, we're catholic but not... Really?? I don't know how to explain it. We don't go to church. So I would assume they would be accepting. And some of my mom's best friends are gay and lesbian.

[Elysium]

That sounds more like a knee-jerk reaction. Maybe you need to feel more confident in it yourself before you can feel confident telling others.

Besides, she asked if you were drawing rainbows because you're gay. Saying no just means that no, you weren't drawing rainbows because you're gay.

[steellord321]

You were put on the spot and weren't ready for it is why. It's not right of her to force it out of you. Don't give in to the pressure. Just say it when your ready.

[Throwaway24]

Thats how i act when my brother asks me. Until u come out that is what it will be like.

[Luminous]

You've only just accepted yourself. Formerly you probably always assumed you would like girls so your involuntary reaction is still 'not gay' until you say it and go 'oh, wait, nevermind'. I have accepted myself for about a year now, and I still occasionally do that. Maybe you were answering truthfully, you were just drawing rainbows because they're pretty.

[tristian0714]

You probably just aren't comfortable to tell people. When my dad asked me if I was gay I immediately started thinking that maybe I was. But I told him no.

[Alex_3869]

You've only just accepted yourself. Formerly you probably always assumed you would like girls so your involuntary reaction is still 'not gay' until you say it and go 'oh, wait, nevermind'. I have accepted myself for about a year now, and I still occasionally do that. Maybe you were answering truthfully, you were just drawing rainbows because they're pretty.
Haha, im pretty sure that I AM gay, and rainbows are very pretty

[Seth Green]

I don't know, it this society, sadly enough it's become a sort of Insulting thing to be called gay....

[Alex_3869]

I don't know, it this society, sadly enough it's become a sort of Insulting thing to be called gay....

I know. I don't understand why it is being used everywhere as an insult, and how some people just throw it out there like it is nothing. When the only difference between gays and straights is that they like different genders

[sqishy]

I know. I don't understand why it is being used everywhere as an insult, and how some people just throw it out there like it is nothing. When the only difference between gays and straights is that they like different genders

If only everyone saw that.

[Alex_3869]

If only everyone saw that.

And that is why we all come here to VT. Because 99.9999%of all users accept us, and we have no fear, and no shame of who we are.:D

[sqishy]

And that is why we all come here to VT. Because 99.9999%of all users accept us, and we have no fear, and no shame of who we are.:D

Indeed.

But leaving the comfort zone to come out to the world gets you places you can't get to any other way. We create a lot of our own barriers. If you get my metaphor.