Just want to get this off my chest.

[Blood]

When I was 14, I had a relative who I was very close to. He was a older than me by about 2 years, and we talked about and did everything together. At 6'2 and around 180, he was a star football player for his high school. We were very close.

Well, over the summer when I was 14, he came to stay with my family for a couple weeks. I was really excited. We would go and hang out and stuff and one day he was like "let's go outside and chill." So we went out and it was just me and him, and long story short he a started touching me inappropriately, and he wouldn't stop, and I couldn't get away, because he had pinned me down. I got really scared and started having an anxiety attack and I guess he realized how scared I was, so he stopped and I went inside. This is the only time something like this happened between us. It's not really the fact that he touched me that way, it's more that he used the trust I had in him against me. It just makes me really sad.

I've never told anybody about this (except maybe 2 people online) because he's the favorite of the family, and I have to see him at least twice a year and I don't think anybody would believe me. Whenever I see him I still get really nervous and if he looks at me too hard or for too long I get scared. It's been 3 years. Shouldn't this have stopped by now? I don't know. Its really been bugging me lately so I thought I'd just get it off my chest.

[Derryck]

It annoys me how the ONLY reason you didn't tell anyone really was bc he was your fav. Have you no conscience? That was a very weak-necked thing to do.

[Amazerful]

I think you should at least talk to him about what happened, maybe he thought you liked him or something back then, it could help you understand more about what happened

[LouBerry]

I don't know that it ever stops. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I wish I could tell you that eventually you'll get over it, but as far as I know you can't. It does get easier, as time goes on, hopefully in a few years you won't remember the incident as well, and that helps, but it never fully goes away.

[Amazerful]

It annoys me how the ONLY reason you didn't tell anyone really was bc he was your fav. Have you no conscience? That was a very weak-necked thing to do.

I think she meant the family favorite

[Derryck]

I think she meant the family favorite

She should have at least tried.

[LouBerry]

She should have at least tried.

I don't think you get to make that assumption unless you know what it's like. Most people who are sexually assaulted never tell anyone, especially not family members.

[Derryck]

I don't think you get to make that assumption unless you know what it's like. Most people who are sexually assaulted never tell anyone, especially not family members.

It's my right to make assumptions FYI. Why would she not tell anyone?

[LouBerry]

It's my right to make assumptions FYI. Why would she not tell anyone?

I don't know why she didn't, ask her, but it probably has something to do with the fact that she's scared of him? That she doesn't think her family will believe her? Do you have ANY idea what that can do to a family? What that could do to her? No. Sometimes it's better not to tell.

[Amazerful]

She should have at least tried.

I dont know her relationship with her family so I won't judge her

[Blood]

I think you should at least talk to him about what happened, maybe he thought you liked him or something back then, it could help you understand more about what happened

It's my right to make assumptions FYI. Why would she not tell anyone?


To answer your questions:

I don't know why she didn't, ask her, but it probably has something to do with the fact that she's scared of him? That she doesn't think her family will believe her? Do you have ANY idea what that can do to a family? What that could do to her? No. Sometimes it's better not to tell.

I'm incredibly scared of him. I try not to be alone around him at all. I'm 5'4 and he's 6'2...do you know how easily he could hurt me? If I say anything and it gets out it could ruin our family. I'm not weak necked, but I'm not fucking stupid either. I just try to stay away from him when he's around.

[LouBerry]

To answer your questions:



I'm incredibly scared of him. I try not to be alone around him at all. I'm 5'4 and he's 6'2...do you know how easily he could hurt me? If I say anything and it gets out it could ruin our family. I'm not weak necked, but I'm not fucking stupid either. I just try to stay away from him when he's around.


You've done nothing wrong. Sometimes you can't tell anyone. You don't want to make things worse for yourself by upsetting your family, and that's okay. You have to do what's best for you.

[Hollywood]

I'm glad you decided to come out with this, I hope it helps to get it off your chest.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you Jess, and you have every right to be nervous and scared around this guy. What he did was disgusting, and it's obvious he knows that (or at least he did at the time). I honestly think that, over time, it'll get easier for you. I understand why you're keeping it from your family; you don't want to cause any trouble. You've done everything right here, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. If you decide to tell your family, that's entirely your decision. You have to do what's best for you.

I truly hope it gets easier for you as time goes on, but if you ever need help, you've got me as well as a whole community here at VT. We've all got your back no matter what.

[Blood]

I'm glad you decided to come out with this, I hope it helps to get it off your chest.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you Jess, and you have every right to be nervous and scared around this guy. What he did was disgusting, and it's obvious he knows that (or at least he did at the time). I honestly think that, over time, it'll get easier for you. I understand why you're keeping it from your family; you don't want to cause any trouble. You've done everything right here, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. If you decide to tell your family, that's entirely your decision. You have to do what's best for you.

I truly hope it gets easier for you as time goes on, but if you ever need help, you've got me as well as a whole community here at VT. We've all got your back no matter what.


Thank you. It means a lot.

[Katiya]

Well it sounds like he might have just made a stupid mistake considering he did realize you were scared and stopped. Some guys are quick to jump right in and don't realize the other party isn't on board.

I would talk to him about it and say that he really scared you and that it bothers you. Talk in a public place or over the phone. He might be really sorry. Assuming he hasn't tried anything sense he may know it was a mistake and isn't sure what to say.

As for getting over it you never really do but it does get a bit easier over time. Talking with him may help a lot. Just do that in a safe place like I said above.

And don't worry about people saying you should have told. They haven't lived it so they don't understand. I never understood either until I went through it my self and then everything made sense. I felt the same way, I couldn't tell and once when I did no one believed me. Its OK, you aren't alone and the feelings are completely normal for what you went through. I personally would try speaking with him as it sounds like he didn't mean to hurt you sense he backed off. Could be guy hormones and popularity got to him lol

[puffmylife]

Well, I guess it's better for you to talk to him about what happened, and observe his behaviour. If he looks like he doesn't regret what happened, then maybe it's better for you to tell your parents about it.