Am I "Douchebag"

[Britanian11]

As a college freshmen, one of my goals is to get laid. Pretty normal stuff. Except, I am in a bit of a unique situation; most guys going into college have at least had a girlfriend before. I've never even had a date with a girl. I had maybe 2 female friends from High School, and I obviously never had sex.

I've been trying to get different women to date me, but that normally fails during the first or second conversation where they casually mention their fiancee. I'm only interested in these women for their physical qualities, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I don't really feel the need for a companion, just someone to sleep with on Friday nights instead of sitting at home watching porn. If I did sleep with her, I wouldn't just leave her (I'm not sexy enough to do that, anyway) and I would treat her properly. In fact, I'd probably treat her extremely well.

I don't really understand the purpose of women, besides their sexuality. I acknowledge and respect them as humans, I'm not a sexist, I just don't see why I would want a female in my life unless I am sleeping with her. Boobies aside, women don't offer me anything I can't get from my guy friends who are much easier to talk to and I don't have to worry about maintenance with them. Even the female friends I have had over the course of my high school career made my life more difficult than it had to be.

[Luminous]

I don't really feel the need for a companion, just someone to sleep with on Friday nights instead of sitting at home watching porn. If I did sleep with her, I wouldn't just leave her (I'm not sexy enough to do that, anyway) and I would treat her properly. In fact, I'd probably treat her extremely well.

I don't really understand the purpose of women, besides their sexuality. I acknowledge and respect them as humans, I'm not a sexist, I just don't see why I would want a female in my life unless I am sleeping with her. Boobies aside, women don't offer me anything I can't get from my guy friends who are much easier to talk to and I don't have to worry about maintenance with them. Even the female friends I have had over the course of my high school career made my life more difficult than it had to be.
Yes.

[conniption]

"I don't really understand the purpose of women, besides their sexuality."

Certified douche :)

[CharlieHorse]

"I don't really understand the purpose of women, besides their sexuality."

Certified douche :)

this

[Britanian11]

I can't say I expected a lot of "no's", but could someone at least fill in the blank here. What do women have to offer me that I can't get from my friends?

I'm an emotionally distant person, so I don't even understand some emotions that people feel. I was thinking about making a thread about it as well. Not long before I posted this, I was in a computer lab on campus printing out an assignment and I overheard the girl next to me confiding in her friend about her relationship problems. I was just thinking "If he doesn't treat you right, why not leave?" I hate hearing people complain about their relationship problems, and I can't stand cheaters.

It's very unlikely I will ever be looking for a "love" (had one and lost her), and I'm fine living alone with my future cat Meowth, but I'm not fine with not getting laid.

Also want to draw attention to this
I acknowledge and respect them as humans, I'm not a sexist, I just don't see why I would want a female in my life unless I am sleeping with her.

[conniption]

I can't say I expected a lot of "no's", but could someone at least fill in the blank here. What do women have to offer me that I can't get from my friends?

I'm an emotionally distant person, so I don't even understand some emotions that people feel. I was thinking about making a thread about it as well. Not long before I posted this, I was in a computer lab on campus printing out an assignment and I overheard the girl next to me confiding in her friend about her relationship problems. I was just thinking "If he doesn't treat you right, why not leave?" I hate hearing people complain about their relationship problems, and I can't stand cheaters.

It's very unlikely I will ever be looking for a "love" (had one and lost her), and I'm fine living alone with my future cat Meowth, but I'm not fine with not getting laid.

Also want to draw attention to this

You know, I very much like that answer than the original post. I mean, you're still basically saying chicks have nothing going for them except for what's in between their legs, but I don't wanna bash you because I understand what you're trying to say. I'm a very emotionally unattached person and I don't dig the idea of ever falling in love, but I don't go around saying "guys suck, they're nasty, stinky, and don't satisfy me," ya know? It pisses people off, and more importantly, destroys your chances of ever getting with a girl. Nothing wrong with only wanting sex, just keep it discreet.

[Harley Quinn]

I acknowledge and respect them as humans, I'm not a sexist, I just don't see why I would want a female in my life unless I am sleeping with her.

Also want to draw attention to this


You draw attention to the point that actually makes you look bad? Congratulations. I think you already know the answer to your own post. You're saying you respect women, yet at the same time you're treating them as a sex object for your own pleasure and still wonder if you're a douche? Your whole outlook on life and woman just screams arrogance to me and I think you already realise that.

[Britanian11]

I don't think you understand what I'm saying, and that's fair because it is complicated.

I am not sexist, I don't believe women are below men and I don't treat women badly. I don't question their value to society as human beings and their various rights.

But to me, the emotionally distant person with a traumatic past and continued negative experiences with women, yes, they are sex objects. I, personally, see no value to having a life partner. I'm not even sure that I can emotionally invest in someone else at this point in my life. Women are complex and scary creatures that I find difficult to interact with, but I try to because that's the only legal way to get laid in this country.

My reason for interacting with women is to have sex, and I don't really see whats wrong with that.

[Sephtyan]

My reason for interacting with women is to have sex, and I don't really see whats wrong with that.

I get what you mean when you say that your normal friends give you all the emotional fulfillment you need. In that regard, as long as one has a really good friend, they don't really need anyone to call a "significant other". My best friend knows all of my life's secrets, and as I'm sure you understand, I don't need to talk about myself with anyone else, realistically.

I'm also in somewhat of a similar boat. I'm eighteen and I've never been on a date. I really wish to find someone for me, however, but that's because I need something or someone to keep me alive. I've never been in love, which is depressing enough on its own. I could approach my best friend and say "hey man, it's been a great run with you, I'll see you in the next life" and they'd fight me, but it wouldn't stop me from offing myself. I want to find someone I love enough to keep living for.

In regards to your original question: Your outlook doesn't make you a douche in that you aren't disrespecting anyone, nor are you being particularly sexist. However, what you aren't taking into account (and what the people responding to this thread are) are the feelings of the person you're looking to bed. Any girl that's going to willingly sleep with you is going to, and in all likelihood already well have developed feelings for you. If you manage to find a chick that has no problem keeping it strictly sex-only, or if she had the vise-versa feelings towards guys that you do, then great. Go ahead and be the Bonnie and Clyde of sex. Chances are, however, that they'll start to fall in love with you (if sex is a repeated thing), and simply saying "they won't be giving me anything I need" is dismissing anything they might need, emotionally. In that regard, yeah, you're a bit of a douche.

[Amazerful]

You have douchy qualities

[TheLivingLie]

I can't say I expected a lot of "no's", but could someone at least fill in the blank here. What do women have to offer me that I can't get from my friends?

I'm an emotionally distant person, so I don't even understand some emotions that people feel. I was thinking about making a thread about it as well. Not long before I posted this, I was in a computer lab on campus printing out an assignment and I overheard the girl next to me confiding in her friend about her relationship problems. I was just thinking "If he doesn't treat you right, why not leave?" I hate hearing people complain about their relationship problems, and I can't stand cheaters.

It's very unlikely I will ever be looking for a "love" (had one and lost her), and I'm fine living alone with my future cat Meowth, but I'm not fine with not getting laid.

Also want to draw attention to this

Well, you are a douche but, in answer to this question, woman aren't sex toys!!!! they are people. they comfort you, help you, and in some cases love you. they aren't toys that you use for your pleasure, they are humans. They are one of the most amazing beings in the world. i sit next to someone in science, and i love science for that. the girl is funny, likable and me and her have a lot in common. woman are friends, just they are the next level. i hope you understand, because the way your going kinda sounds like your life is gonna end up on the street, or in a jail cell.......

[Trenton_]

you need not worry at all about being a douche or having sex with a girl.
normal drug free, coma free girls will not just sleep with you, so you have nothing to worry about. if you can get to a place where prostitution is legal, i'd recommend that and you can have all the intercourse you can afford. it's a win win.

[Cygnus]

Yes, because you are treating women as objects while claiming otherwise.

[Emerald Dream]

But to me, the emotionally distant person with a traumatic past and continued negative experiences with women, yes, they are sex objects.

My reason for interacting with women is to have sex, and I don't really see whats wrong with that.

While I am not going to go as far as to call you that myself, the two statements I have quoted do say a lot. You are definitely entited to your opinions and your motives (we all are)....but do not get upset, angry, or wonder why - if other people label you as a "douchebag."

I do have to take exception to the first statement more than the second, though. This pretty much means that a few girls were mean to you, so you have the right to treat all girls as sex objects. While it may suck that you have had bad experiences, it's not really fair to objectify the entire female population because of it.

Sorry, but I (and other girls) are not put on Earth to sexually please you.

[CuteFunSmartGirl]

Umm kinda.

[Cece14]

I don't think you understand what I'm saying, and that's fair because it is complicated.

I am not sexist, I don't believe women are below men and I don't treat women badly. I don't question their value to society as human beings and their various rights.

But to me, the emotionally distant person with a traumatic past and continued negative experiences with women, yes, they are sex objects. I, personally, see no value to having a life partner. I'm not even sure that I can emotionally invest in someone else at this point in my life. Women are complex and scary creatures that I find difficult to interact with, but I try to because that's the only legal way to get laid in this country.

My reason for interacting with women is to have sex, and I don't really see whats wrong with that.

OKay, listen, You may see nothing wrong with it, but how would you feel if a girl was using u just for you "Physical properties" That is just wrong, we deserve to be treated right, and cared for, not a sex toy. So, to answer your question, Am I a "Douch bag" in my opinion, yes.

[Mynick]

Short answer: yes. I'll let all femaly VTers explain why..

[highschool]

You draw attention to the point that actually makes you look bad? Congratulations. I think you already know the answer to your own post. You're saying you respect women, yet at the same time you're treating them as a sex object for your own pleasure and still wonder if you're a douche? Your whole outlook on life and woman just screams arrogance to me and I think you already realise that.

um this..I can't even begin to explain how big of a douchebag you are. goodluck getting laid

[Britanian11]

um this..I can't even begin to explain how big of a douchebag you are. goodluck getting laid

That's kind of mean. Guys far worse than myself, who don't even give women respect, get laid all the time.

I don't treat women like objects. I treat them like people, and that's more than those guys can say. It's not my fault I can't "have feelings" for every girl I think is attractive. And it's not like I wear a t-shirt that says "I don't care about you, now come sleep with me." As long I treat a girl well, what the hell is the difference?

I don't have a low opinion of them either. My novel, for instance, features many strong female characters, hero or villain. I don't believe that women are in any way inferior to men overall. Obviously, we are different, but they are not an inferior species. In fact, I tend to believe that women in general are smarter than men, based on my experiences.