Determining if somebody is not straight

[chargersfan]

So this is somewhat related to my thread "Is my friend gay" (You can go read it if you want) but not really that much related.

So anyways I had mentioned on the thread one of the reasons I think he is gay is because you can't really tell that they have a genuine interest for girls. Like I can tell for certain if somebody is straight just by how they talk about girls, or how into a girlfriend they seem to be. But with some guys, you can't always tell that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will always be gay, but I feel like it's a good sign to look for.

So I just want to hear everybody's opinion on this and if anybody would like to add anything about this.

[ksdnfkfr]

I read an article that a lot of guys in the closet show a big interest in girls as a cover.
That a guy who talks too much about girls and or acts too macho is overcompensating and is probably gay.

[NeuroTiger]

Ezra is right.

It's difficult though to drop a conclusion.
It's better to put him in several delicate situations and observe his reactions.
I was trying to see how homosexuals behave by chatting with some on social networks and I can tell you, it was a nice way to learn about their behaviors and their philosophy.

[Lovelife090994]

Ezra is right.

It's difficult though to drop a conclusion.
It's better to put him in several delicate situations and observe his reactions.
I was trying to see how homosexuals behave by chatting with some on social networks and I can tell you, it was a nice way to learn about their behaviors and their philosophy.

What did you learn? And what of the guys that are overly-so macho and strictly girls? Can that too be an act.

[Soulless]

Ask them.


Unless they're openly taking Vitamin D and worship Lady Gaga you can't tell. Being gay doesn't define your personality in every case.
Assuming will either break your heart or make you look a fool. Just ask man, it isn't a crime.

[Living For Love]

Ask them.


Unless they're openly taking Vitamin D and worship Lady Gaga you can't tell. Being gay doesn't define your personality in every case.
Assuming will either break your heart or make you look a fool. Just ask man, it isn't a crime.

I'm sorry but I can't agree with you. If a boy likes Lady Gaga, or Justin Bieber, or shaves his hair, or likes yellow, wears some makeup and hair gel because he cares about himself, or sometimes crosses his legs and arms when he's sitting, does that make him gay? Because if it does, then half of the population in this planet is gay. Why do people consider a boy gay just because he likes... f*cking yellow or pink? It's just a colour, a guy is gay if he's sexually attracted to boys. Period.

You can only tell someone is gay by the way he acts towards girls/boys and talks about them.

[Soulless]

I'm sorry but I can't agree with you. If a boy likes Lady Gaga, or Justin Bieber, or shaves his hair, or likes yellow, wears some makeup and hair gel because he cares about himself, or sometimes crosses his legs and arms when he's sitting, does that make him gay? Because if it does, then half of the population in this planet is gay. Why do people consider a boy gay just because he likes... f*cking yellow or pink? It's just a colour, a guy is gay if he's sexually attracted to boys. Period.

You can only tell someone is gay by the way he acts towards girls/boys and talks about them.

I wasn't being completely literal, calm yourself.

[Living For Love]

I wasn't being completely literal, calm yourself.

Alright, sorry if I was rude, I just can't understand people who think that way. :)

[JamesSuperBoy]

So this is somewhat related to my thread "Is my friend gay" (You can go read it if you want) but not really that much related.

So anyways I had mentioned on the thread one of the reasons I think he is gay is because you can't really tell that they have a genuine interest for girls. Like I can tell for certain if somebody is straight just by how they talk about girls, or how into a girlfriend they seem to be. But with some guys, you can't always tell that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will always be gay, but I feel like it's a good sign to look for.

So I just want to hear everybody's opinion on this and if anybody would like to add anything about this.


I would say no - and in any case none of anybodies concern.

many times people are unsure themselves of sexuality.

[Joe69]

So this is somewhat related to my thread "Is my friend gay" (You can go read it if you want) but not really that much related.

So anyways I had mentioned on the thread one of the reasons I think he is gay is because you can't really tell that they have a genuine interest for girls. Like I can tell for certain if somebody is straight just by how they talk about girls, or how into a girlfriend they seem to be. But with some guys, you can't always tell that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will always be gay, but I feel like it's a good sign to look for.

So I just want to hear everybody's opinion on this and if anybody would like to add anything about this.

dude i must say this guy really have you going coco there..loool.. some times you can tell if someone is gay just by observing them, really.. i've met a few guys and have observe them and say they gay and they end up being gay after all..
OR maybe its just coincidence :)

[Cook my Sock]

I read an article that a lot of guys in the closet show a big interest in girls as a cover.

Hahah I kinda do that, like when people are talking about girls and then ask my opinion on them I just go along with it when I actually have very little interest.

[sqishy]

Debates aside, the best way to see what people's sexuality is, is to ask their opinion about LGBT stuff, how they see girls/boys, drop subtle hints that you are wondering what their sexuality is, etc.

A faster way to find out is to just ask kindly :).

[chargersfan]

Ok this thread turned into a clusterfuck, no no no no.... I'm not saying that there is any way to ever FOR SURE tell if somebodies gay, but there are signs, yes some gay guys openly hate on gays to hide the fact that they are gay themselves, but not every gay guy does this when they are trying to stay in the closet.

No what I mean is that you can sometimes tell if a guy is really interested in a girl, and you can sometimes not.

Pretend we lived in a world where half of the population was gay and the other half was straight. People in this world are always assumed to be straight unless proven otherwise, but outside of asking somebody, you would have to determine what they are attracted to and you aren't just assuming that they are going to be attracted to the opposite sex unless you find out otherwise.
Like if you are gay and out, do you think you would have been able to stay in the closet as long if your parents and other adults never just "Assumed" you were straight from the time you were born and had no expectation for what your sexuality would actually be. I hope that made some sense.



And Joe60 coco for coco puffs is a better term. :)

[chargersfan]

Debates aside, the best way to see what people's sexuality is, is to ask their opinion about LGBT stuff, how they see girls/boys, drop subtle hints that you are wondering what their sexuality is, etc.

A faster way to find out is to just ask kindly :).

What would be a good question(s) to ask in specific and what kind of answers to those questions would be a straight person's response and which answers would be an answer somebody who is a closeted gay would respond with.

[sqishy]

What would be a good question(s) to ask in specific and what kind of answers to those questions would be a straight person's response and which answers would be an answer somebody who is a closeted gay would respond with.

On if they are ok with LGBT stuff, ask them what they think of it in general. It won't clear up if they are straight or not in any way, because some closeted non-straights will try to hide it.
To be direct, simply ask them what they think their sexuality is. Don't expect an honest answer, it depends on how much the person trusts you and if they are comfortable with their sexuality or not.

I really can't help you in what questions to ask, because I have never asked someone about their sexuality yet. The best way of finding out their sexuality is being around them a lot and seeing who they look at, seem attracted to, and are awkward/nervous around.
Finding out someone's sexuality when they are closeted is guesswork. You will never know for sure until they tell you or others, with you knowing it's the truth. In this sense people shouldn't be automatically assumed to be straight, they should be assumed to be curious.

[Harry Smith]

It's impossible to tell if someone is gay based on how they talk about girls, I mean some people in the closet go to the extreme and talk about Megan Fox the whole day others just act natural. There really is no way to tell if someone in the closet is guy because everybody deals with it differently

[Bazinga]

I read an article that a lot of guys in the closet show a big interest in girls as a cover.
That a guy who talks too much about girls and or acts too macho is overcompensating and is probably gay.

This. If you can tell someone isn't being genuine when they're talking about girls or something like that then I think its a big sign.

[chargersfan]

This. If you can tell someone isn't being genuine when they're talking about girls or something like that then I think its a big sign.

Yeah that's what my theory is to, and not being genuine can be a lot of different ways of being disingenuous.

[Amazerful]

These days it is honestly hard to tell, just never jump to conclusions

[Joe69]

i would say, just monitor them from a distance.. watch how they look at girls/guys and watch they throat because when you watch someone you attracted to you tend to swallow your spit because of nerves and eye contact is is another too. You would try not holding eye contact with someone you attracted to for long because again, nerves and also it can throw you off course so you try to avoid that.

[Dunce]

Most people's "gaydar" is based off stereotypes, so don't count on stereotypes. I think with sexuality there's always going to be a chance you're wrong, but you could check for things anyway. I notice that gay people don't act different around the opposite sex. I have always been sensitive to how girls act around guys, and a big clue for me when trying to determine whether or not a girl is gay is how attentive, happy, and talkative she is around guys compared to girls. Probably works for gay men too, but I'm not sure about closeted people.
When I was denying my sexuality I used to pretend to like guys, and this ended up in me "liking" kind of random average looking guys who I had hardly ever talked to. Pay attention to what kind of girls a guy dates and how interested in them he is. Like, is he dating because he likes chicks or is he dating to be dating like the other guys.

[Luminous]

You can't tell, best way to find out is just to ask what they're into.

[Alex_3869]

I have read the other thread, and honestly, I think that you will be able to tell after a while, just start getting closer and closer to him, and.... just let it run it's course. If it turns out good, then GREAT! if he isnt gay, well, he is still your best friend

[chargersfan]

Most people's "gaydar" is based off stereotypes, so don't count on stereotypes. I think with sexuality there's always going to be a chance you're wrong, but you could check for things anyway. I notice that gay people don't act different around the opposite sex. I have always been sensitive to how girls act around guys, and a big clue for me when trying to determine whether or not a girl is gay is how attentive, happy, and talkative she is around guys compared to girls. Probably works for gay men too, but I'm not sure about closeted people.
When I was denying my sexuality I used to pretend to like guys, and this ended up in me "liking" kind of random average looking guys who I had hardly ever talked to. Pay attention to what kind of girls a guy dates and how interested in them he is. Like, is he dating because he likes chicks or is he dating to be dating like the other guys.

Well the guy I'm interested in right now has never had a Girlfriend so I can't really judge how into his girlfriend he is. But anyhow, he really doesn't act any different around girls than guys, (I don't really either so I think that is a good theory) and I have never seen him genuinely interested in a girl, I agree that I'm going to have to let my situation run it's course, but I still like to study behavior just to see my chances.

[Trenton_]

Well the guy I'm interested in right now has never had a Girlfriend so I can't really judge how into his girlfriend he is. But anyhow, he really doesn't act any different around girls than guys, (I don't really either so I think that is a good theory) and I have never seen him genuinely interested in a girl, I agree that I'm going to have to let my situation run it's course, but I still like to study behavior just to see my chances.

youll know if he hits on ya why risk losing a friend if he is youll know

[chargersfan]

youll know if he hits on ya why risk losing a friend if he is youll know

Eventually Yes.

[Throwaway24]

Best way to get a answer is to talk to them. The answer they give u is the one u have to take. Even if it isn't true. If that is what they want to tell u that is all u will know. It's not fair on them to try and find out with someone else or pressure them into telling u. If he wants u to know he will tell u might he might need a helpful push with just talking to him about it.