I need an outside opinion...

[NeutraltEAm4za]

Hey everyone, my first post in a looooong time, but I'm having a lot of trouble lately over a guy at school. Some background first.

So the is a freshman at school I really like, I will call him john for now. I am currently a junior. Now I have liked john for quite some time, as we are both band guys, and this all started as me just finding him attractive. Of course, despite how bad I am around people I like, I talked to him, and we've become friends, and it turns out, his personality is fantastic, he is super sweet and always has a smile on his face. Anytime we talk, I become extremely happy, and I love being around him and watching his quirky personality play out. Some of the greatest news I soon found out was that he is bisexual, but the source wasn't very trustworthy. Honesty, it was pretty believable, because John surely has his feminine moments, and totally sets off my Gaydar, and that of another gay friend of mine. This news however, came with some crushing news, he is currently dating a girl in his grade and they have been together for over a year. Now I know most of you are probably going to say "just forget him", and maybe you're right, but that's not everything.

Lately, I've been hanging out with him a lot more. We go out to eat, usually with one or two other people quite often, and we text occasionally. This is where things get interesting. Him and his girlfriend are either VERY mature, or something else because I rarely ever see them holding hands or anything, much-less even with each other all that much, they honestly just look like friends. Then, I noticed that most of these "dinner outings" we've been having, haven't even been mentioned to his girlfriend, despite me inviting her, he for some reason seems to be neglecting to tell her. On one night we brought up relationships and he mentioned his, saying that they have been together for over a year but that it's "just a freshman relationship" which surprised me. Later that night he said we need to hang out more when sports and stuff get done.

Now this is the most current situation and the one that is bugging me. Both of us were invited to a party of sorts, and the host was making sure that he would have someone there he knew. She ended up asking him "Do you like Mike?", and according to her, he suddenly became very awkward and eventually replied yes. She then corrected herself on the meaning of the question and he replied in a more natural tone "Oh yeah, Mike and I are cool." This to me either seems good for me, or very bad, I honestly don't know, but it's driving me nuts. I try my best to respect their relationship but at the same time, I'm getting confusing messages from him, and it's making it hard to deal with. If you stuck with me to the end, I really appreciate it, and I would love your opinion on the situation. Is his relationship a healthy one, or has he just not figured out they are just good friends? Is he into me or is he just being friendly? Should I say anything? I just feel I'm overthinking everything because I do that regularly, and I don't want to make a big mistake. Thanks so much guys!

[WeAreOneRepublic]

My advice to you my good man is keep the friendship going, try to not blatantly tell him you like him as he may get uncomfortable with having a girlfriend. Wait until he breaks up, then tell him how you feel(optional) and see if he wants to go out somewhere together. Nice and simple :)

[TapDancer]

If I was you, I'd play it cool and still be his awesome cool friend. At least for the moment anyway, cause it sounds like you guys are getting closer and really hitting it off as friends. Now don't creep him out, but you might drop subtle hints, and that could really work in your favour. Now I personally don't think it's fair or ethical for him to do something with you while still in his relationship, but it sounds like he is not happy, and I think he will eventually end it. If and when that happens, he may or may not lean on your for support, I don't know. But then you are free to suggest something. You didn't say if he was in anyway homophobic, all you said is that it was a rumor that he was bi. Now, if you say that you think hes cute or something and it turns out he is straight, you don't want to creep him out or anything (having said that, any decent guy should be able to take a compliment from anyone regardless of their gender), but then you can say something.

In the mean time, just grow your friendship further, it's probably the safest thing to do. In my relationship, I'm as happy as I can be, but we were set up and while we are a thing, we treat each other more like mates with occasional snogging. Personally, I think it's really good to be good friends with someone before you get into a relationship or even try, because then you know the persons likes and dislikes and that what you know there is already a connection. Good luck mate mate, quote me or message me if you want any further advice :)

[Luminous]

I think you should be upfront to him. You don't have to tell him you like him, just ask what is going on with his girlfriend, and if you are interfering with their relationship. Promise you won't get upset or anything, but make sure he knows you're confused and uncomfortable.

[Living For Love]

A stable relationship needs communication between the two parts, so if they don't usually talk to eachother, or kiss, or even hold hands, perhaps they're just special friends, but they're not in love with eachother. It's a tricky situation, because first you don't know for sure if they are in a relationship or not, and second you also don't know for sure if he likes you or not. I think he is really interested in you, he wants to be around you (and you only), and he enjoys your company, but the fact is that he can seem also a bit interested in that girl, and he probably just doesn't want to dump her in a harsh way about so much time together.

You need to tread carefully, so I suggest you keep acting like his best friend, hang out with him, tell him that you're available in case he needs something. Basically, try to see if he develops strong feelings for you and if he shows them to you in a open way. The only problem is, in fact, his "girlfriend", but I guess he is also old enough to know what he wants, and it's bad if he's with someone he doesn't love. You know him better than us, so you do know what to do. If you eventualy notice that he likes you more than only a friend, I guess you could make your move, but don't forget to ask him about the relationship he has with that girl before doing anything radical.

[NeutraltEAm4za]

I really appreciate the advice guys, it means a lot. I think I will just continue waiting to see how things progress, and if the chance appears, I may ask him about his relationship. I am just super confused and this is also giving me a lot of heartache, seeing him unavailable. I've been also trying to get along well with his girlfriend, and she is pretty cool, a very nice girl, but I notice her watching me in the same way I do when I start liking someone or think someone's cute, so this doesn't really help at all, hahaha, either way, thanks a bunch :)

[Captain Who]

I think you should just see how everything goes, this seems interesting to me to be honest but I think that you can either be upfront or patient and live life with less confusion. Update me when you can? I would love to try and help :D

(You are like me with the whole overthinking thing, it's not great when it comes to real life situations, but great for making stories!)

[Chaqouyaaa]

Hi , I honestly believe that you should let him figure out what he really wants . If he really likes you then he will come around and maybe want to be with you one day but until that day just focus on you and your education . Also , try to cut some of the "activities" you guys do together less . You don't want to continue to grow feelings for him if you don't know how he feels.