I need to vent

[Hollywood]

Just a heads up, this is going to be a long post. Feel free to read as little or as much as you'd like. I just need to vent a little.

So, basically, my life is fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Why, you ask? Well, look no further than my own mother.

My parents split when I was 10, and I moved back to South Carolina with my mother. Things were okay initially, we had a decent house, she had a good job and I was going to a good school. But since then? Good god.

Right now, my mother and I live in a dilapidated old house owned by grandfather (he lives elsewhere). We 'moved' here because we were evicted from our old house due to unpaid rent. It was only supposed to be temporary, until we could get back on our feet. It's been over 2 years.

Initially, my mother found a job here (we live in a very small town) and things were looking up. But then, she yet again lost it and has very halfheartedly been looking for a new one since. And it's been over a year now. Did I mention she's a nurse? Last time I checked those are pretty in demand.

Oh, and a few years back, I was pulled out of junior high school. Why? Yeah, I wish I knew. We moved to a new district and my mother put off signing me up for school until it was too late. So now, despite working hard for my entire time in school, I'm now classified as a dropout. And for no logical reason whatsoever. I'm ashamed of this even though it was not my fault. I can't help it. Now I need a GED and it's once again being put off like it's nothing.

I've also lost both of my grandmothers in the last three years, both to dementia. That would be stressful enough without everything else, but with it, it's overwhelming.

So, fast forward to present day. My goal is to obtain my GED and do whatever else I need to in order to join the US Air Force. I'm willing to work my fingers to the bone to reach this goal. But in order to do it, my mother needs a job, so that I can properly study, as well as get myself in physical shape for the military.

And what does she do? She sits on her hands. All. Day. Long. A perfectly capable RN who could get a job anywhere in the country with the simple filling out of a form on monster.com. And she won't even do that. I've been hounding her about it for a month now. Nothing. For instance, she promised me on Friday that we would go to the library and work on the application on Monday. Today is Monday. We're not going.

I have ambition. I have drive, and I'm not asking for a handout. I just want the oppertunity, and I will run with it as fast as I can. But no one cares enough to help me. Not even my own damn mother. Now, she's found a new 'friend' who she's spending all her time with. Like today, when we were supposed to fill out those job forms. I'm fine with her having friends, but am I crazy to think that maybe she should have other priorities right now?

So here I sit. All day long. Every day. Waiting. Waiting for someone else to determine my destiny while I sit here handcuffed staring at the wall. I should be a high school graduate right now. At this very moment, I should be in my freshman year of college. But here I am, sitting. Twiddling my thumbs, waiting in agony for an oppurtunity that seems as though it will never come. A junior-high school dropout. A depressed, angry, socialy-anxious person with no life and nothing to live for. But here I am, and here I sit.

So yeah, I'm not really asking for advice. I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

[Living For Love]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know, one of the things that really drives me nuts is the unability of parents to understand their children. I suppose you've already talked about your future plans to your mother, and how she is making it even harder for you to accomplish them. It's not your fault, and there's no reason to be ashamed of anything.

I don't really know how education in USA works, but I guess you can apply for college next year and proceed with your studies. Consider this some kind of gap year and do something that keeps you busy and entertained, like voluntary work, or go to the gym, practice some sport, I don't know. It's really hard to understand why parents do this, specially when they have kids who know precisely what they want to do with their lives. There's nothing more honourable than someone applying for the military and defend their nation with their own lives, and I'm sure that with all your strenght of will, courage and determination, you will get it. Don't let this take you down.

[sqishy]

We are here to listen. And help, whenever possible. Be optimistic!

[Hollywood]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know, one of the things that really drives me nuts is the unability of parents to understand their children. I suppose you've already talked about your future plans to your mother, and how she is making it even harder for you to accomplish them. It's not your fault, and there's no reason to be ashamed of anything.

I don't really know how education in USA works, but I guess you can apply for college next year and proceed with your studies. Consider this some kind of gap year and do something that keeps you busy and entertained, like voluntary work, or go to the gym, practice some sport, I don't know. It's really hard to understand why parents do this, specially when they have kids who know precisely what they want to do with their lives. There's nothing more honourable than someone applying for the military and defend their nation with their own lives, and I'm sure that with all your strenght of will, courage and determination, you will get it. Don't let this take you down.

Yeah, I don't really get it either. But it's taught me some serious lessons on what NOT to do if I become a parent someday.

I doubt I'll need to go to college, since my plan is to go into the military. I may need to take a few courses for credits but that should be all. But the great thing about the military is that, with the GI Bill, I could wind up going to college for free if I want out of the service a few years down the road. It gives me lots of options. Just thinking about it gets me excited.

I'm staying optimistic. I'm going to get what I'm shooting for one way or another. Thanks for the replies you two.

[GingerHannah]

Stay strong my friend! It may not be great now but once you're doing what you want to be doing, and you're in charge of things, life will seem 10x better than you thought it will

[Iron Man]

Just a heads up, this is going to be a long post. Feel free to read as little or as much as you'd like. I just need to vent a little.....(Insert Rant Here)..

Well damn, sounds like a really bad time. I hope things work well for you.

Also, welcome back, Tyler.

[Hollywood]

Stay strong my friend! It may not be great now but once you're doing what you want to be doing, and you're in charge of things, life will seem 10x better than you thought it will

Indeed, the thought of that is what keeps me going.

Well damn, sounds like a really bad time. I hope things work well for you.

Also, welcome back, Tyler.

Me too. And thanks!

[pashathedrummer94]

I am sort of in the same predicament, dude. I am stuck, not knowing what i am going to do, and the laziness of my mother is stopping me from getting my permit, and for scheduling and financial reasons i cant get any one else to take me to get my own job or really do anything i need to do. to remedy this I recently moved in with, who you could call my girlfriend, so her parents could help me. but due to my own mental problems and social anxiety/Autistic behavior, i became too much to handle so i had to move back into my moms. though you have it worse than me and my heart goes out to you. all i can say is there might be people or things that could help you and if someone offers then go for it. sometimes people need a little boost, especially when you need a GED. good luck in the service Dude.

[Hollywood]

I am sort of in the same predicament, dude. I am stuck, not knowing what i am going to do, and the laziness of my mother is stopping me from getting my permit, and for scheduling and financial reasons i cant get any one else to take me to get my own job or really do anything i need to do. to remedy this I recently moved in with, who you could call my girlfriend, so her parents could help me. but due to my own mental problems and social anxiety/Autistic behavior, i became too much to handle so i had to move back into my moms. though you have it worse than me and my heart goes out to you. all i can say is there might be people or things that could help you and if someone offers then go for it. sometimes people need a little boost, especially when you need a GED. good luck in the service Dude.

Yeah, if someone gives me an oppurtunity, I'm going to take it. Thanks, and good luck with your life as well.

[Maverick]

Why do you have to wait on your mom to get a job before you get your GED? Is there anything you can do right now to get things in motion so you can get that knocked out?

If I were you I would get in touch with an air force recruiter if you haven't already. Explain them your situation and what you're trying to achieve. They may have some useful information or offer some guidance so you can stay on track to achieve your goals. They might be able to help you get your GED or even get you prepped up for the ASVAB test.

The important thing is to get in touch with people that can offer you solutions. You're an adult now and from what I learned... if you want to get anywhere and get where you want to be... you have to put yourself in the drivers seat to get it done. Like you said you have drive and you can do it. If your mom isn't doing her part then find solutions to get around it. Don't take no for an answer.

[Hollywood]

Why do you have to wait on your mom to get a job before you get your GED? Is there anything you can do right now to get things in motion so you can get that knocked out?

If I were you I would get in touch with an air force recruiter if you haven't already. Explain them your situation and what you're trying to achieve. They may have some useful information or offer some guidance so you can stay on track to achieve your goals. They might be able to help you get your GED or even get you prepped up for the ASVAB test.

The important thing is to get in touch with people that can offer you solutions. You're an adult now and from what I learned... if you want to get anywhere and get where you want to be... you have to put yourself in the drivers seat to get it done. Like you said you have drive and you can do it. If your mom isn't doing her part then find solutions to get around it. Don't take no for an answer.

I'm not even sure where to begin, to be honest. It's all pretty overwhelming. I did try to get to a recruiter but no one would take me. I guess my next step there would be to send them an e-mail explaining my situation. I can't be the only person going through a rough time that wants to join.

I don't want to abandon my mother, but if this goes on much longer, I may have to consider talking to a social worker or someone like that. Someone who can help me fix this mess. There's so much that needs to be done that I can't even wrap my head around it all.

[Maverick]

I'm not even sure where to begin, to be honest. It's all pretty overwhelming. I did try to get to a recruiter but no one would take me. I guess my next step there would be to send them an e-mail explaining my situation. I can't be the only person going through a rough time that wants to join.

I don't want to abandon my mother, but if this goes on much longer, I may have to consider talking to a social worker or someone like that. Someone who can help me fix this mess. There's so much that needs to be done that I can't even wrap my head around it all.
I've been in a similar situation. I was in a situation where my mother had problems taking care of herself and I put my whole life on hold because I didn't want to abandon her. You'll find that as a teenager you won't have much influence to get a grown woman to do things. Its just not going to happen. Its a tough call to make but at some point you have to do what is best for you. I waited years before I finally realized that. If I could go back and do things differently it would be that I took matters of my life into my own hands sooner.

Fill out this form and get in touch with somebody different. https://contact.airforce.com/

Also, it wouldn't hurt to talk to other branches of the military to see what kind of response you get from them. Now I know you are set on Air Force but it does not hurt one bit to just talk to the other branches to see what they say. Weigh all the options and compare the pros/cons accordingly. If at the end of the day Air Force is your passion then that is fine. I just stress that knowledge is king and you're only going to gain it doing some due diligence and having conversations with the right people

[Hollywood]

I've been in a similar situation. I was in a situation where my mother had problems taking care of herself and I put my whole life on hold because I didn't want to abandon her. You'll find that as a teenager you won't have much influence to get a grown woman to do things. Its just not going to happen. Its a tough call to make but at some point you have to do what is best for you. I waited years before I finally realized that. If I could go back and do things differently it would be that I took matters of my life into my own hands sooner.

Fill out this form and get in touch with somebody different. https://contact.airforce.com/

Also, it wouldn't hurt to talk to other branches of the military to see what kind of response you get from them. Now I know you are set on Air Force but it does not hurt one bit to just talk to the other branches to see what they say. Weigh all the options and compare the pros/cons accordingly. If at the end of the day Air Force is your passion then that is fine. I just stress that knowledge is king and you're only going to gain it doing some due diligence and having conversations with the right people

Yeah, I do have a feeling it's going to come to that, unfortunately. Every day I sit waiting is a day wasted regardless of what's causing it. It's getting to the point where I'm just going to have to take the initiative. I can't wait around expecting someone else to do what they're supposed to when they almost never do anyways.

The main reason I want the Air Force is because I'm familiar with it. My dad was in the AF and I grew up in it. But you're correct, it can't hurt to consider all options. There may be something out there that's an even better fit.

Thank you for the advice.