My thoughts are like a endless movie/nightmare x.x

[Dennis Chaney]

I'm going insane.. My thoughts of the past and what people did and could do are driving me insane, the harder I try not to think about the past, the worse it gets, and the worse it gets, the more I feel like I'm going to relapse. But even when I just let the thoughts flow I still feel so miserable, it makes me just want to end it all. I don't have any family to care weather I do it, or friends for that matter, I'm all alone and I can't get away, I'm a prisoner to my own freaking mind. I think I've lost it. X.x

[Mynick]

It's YOUR mind, you just need to remember who is incharge there, ok?
I think you can only forget them when you overcome them, and maybe you still need to do that. I know it's cliche, but vent out, talk about them with someone and you'll feel a lot better.
Even if in real life you dont have friends, you know we are here for you! Feel free to VM or PM id you need to talk or just vent
Stay strong :hug:

[1_21Guns]

In my opinion the mind will always be the most powerful weapon there is because it has the ability to create and destroy so much, including itself. Like Eduardo said venting is always good, even if it's just mindless ramblings in a thread or even in the Dirty Little Secrets (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=10390) thread if you just want to ramble on and you don't want replies (something I often find myself doing :P) The past is awful sometimes, but ultimately it is the past, and if the past was down in hell there's only one way you can go and that's up :hug3: feel free to message me if you want to talk :)

[Katiya]

Good advice above.
I have PTSD and deal with flashbacks on a daily basis. And I can say the thoughts about what "could have happened" are oftenworse than the iinitial flashbacks. I'll have dreams of something worse happening and then that will turn into a flashback type thing and it makes me want to totally flip. Just like the others I can feel it like I'm there.
Its the mind preparing for possibilities that could hurt it. Its a natural function of the brain actually. Back in ol cave man days it helped us humans survive by planing for "the next adinosaurnimal attack" or to watch our step for poisonous snakes.

Some of us have very strong instinct here.

I personally have learnt to just shut it all off. But that's been years of practice for me, I've had sense I was a little girl to practice and still they sometimes catch me by surprise.

The more traumatic events a person has the higher chance they will have 'flash back thoughts about what could have been". Your minds trying to prepare it self to defend the body. And for some of us that part of the brain becomes a little over active and intrudes into our daily lives.

I've found a lot of comfort in reading fantasy books about fictional characters that go through similar things either mentally or physically similar to my life. Real people story's are often too triggering as I recognize that 'shit! That could happen to me!' And thust starts the horrifying flashbacks and uh... for lack of a better name 'flash forwards' lol. Fantasy books keep me distracted because its just that, fantasy. I liked the book "Huger games' because the charactor is female like me and experiences events thatleave her with emotional effects like mine. So I can relate to something without triggering my mind. The events are realistic but not life like. So plausible in theory but not something that will make my mind feel threatened like a actual persons experiences would. Books in general are a good distraction when there's nothing else to do. :)
Perhaps try that, reading about fantasy characters that can relate to you some how. It can just be one little part of the book. Doesn't have to match you to a T. That should allow you to think openly about your experiences and relate to an authors writing without the threat of 'what could have been' thoughts. Your mind recognizes the emotions are something that other people must feel (after all someone had the idea to write about it) but the events leading to them are non triggering. IE fighting in a game run by the government or being smashed by a dinosaur or chaced by morauding hoards of angry people. Lol anything goes.