Troubles With Best Friend

[Trae329]

Hello everyone.

If you haven't seen my last two topics about this (in order from oldest to most recent) then this might be confusing for you.

Read in this order:
1) http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=184451
2) http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=189225

I've decided to make a new thread because I don't visit this site often and I don't want to bump the posts.

Anyway, let me begin...


It has been about a month since I posted the last topic, and I just can't concentrate. Daily at school, at home, EVERYWHERE, my mind is on Jason. Ever since we had sexually experimented, my sex drive has increased a TON, and I think I'm starting to become addicted to porn. I know, it's a little embarrassing, but I can't stop thinking about having sex with him. I know, I've already had, but it's almost as if the only days I don't think about it is when I am not feeling good. I text him everyday after school, say good night to him... It's just a desire for him. I can't think of myself being gay, I get along with females well and I actually have a emotional desire for one currently as well. I don't believe I am bisexual either as my hormones are currently at their peak right now. I don't believe he would want to do it anymore, but once again he had said that before and then asked me to do it on vacation afterward that day. It's like he gets horny at night, EXTREMELY horny; he isn't the same, and that's what I love about him. He is the nicest, calmest kid I've honestly ever met and I can't say that I don't like it. I am the same way; I get extremely horny at night as well and I sometimes think that being tired was a partial reason of why I had sex with him as it was around 11PM - 1AM every time it happened. We are best friends right now and have been since vacation. I don't know if he feels the same way about me but he always gives me this stare like "I want you" (lol) or some kind of stare of arousal. It might just be me seeing that but I have told one of my best friends about this whole situation and he hasn't told anyone. He does believe, however, that he is gay. Jason had denied that he was, but sexual experiences (cases involving partial nudity) had happened before. Nevertheless, the sexual desire is stuck on my mind. I want to tell him about it just to get the words out, and I really need to. I don't know how to tell him this without him thinking the wrong way and him not being friends with me anymore...

Please help! I really am desperate for some, I cannot even think straight during class if he comes up somehow..

[Lost in the Echo]

From what you said, it sounds like the both of you have strong feelings for each other.
From what you said, I'd have to say the two of you are gay, but the again I'm not sure of the whole story. But it sounds like the two of you love each other, so don't let anyone ruin that. Do whatever makes you comfortable, and don't let anything affect that decision.

[Trae329]

From what you said, it sounds like the both of you have strong feelings for each other.
From what you said, I'd have to say the two of you are gay, but the again I'm not sure of the whole story. But it sounds like the two of you love each other, so don't let anyone ruin that. Do whatever makes you comfortable, and don't let anything affect that decision.

Thank you for your swift reply.

I'm starting to come in terms with that I'm gay but I'm not 100% positive yet...
The thing is those are the only signals I can get from him. I asked him before numerous times but he might not be sure yet. I don't know, it's hard to tell...

Thanks for the advice.

[ksdnfkfr]

When I'm with my friend in his room or mine on a sleepover, it's like the rest of the world and its opinions and labels don't matter or even exist. It's just him and me in our own separate time and space in the here and now.

[Seth Green]

Well you know. You might be Bi...

[sqishy]

From what you said, it sounds like the both of you have strong feelings for each other.
From what you said, I'd have to say the two of you are gay, but the again I'm not sure of the whole story. But it sounds like the two of you love each other, so don't let anyone ruin that. Do whatever makes you comfortable, and don't let anything affect that decision.

I agree with this. Don't worry about labels, just go with what feels right.

[johnsmith1]

I don't know what the future will hold, but just talk with him. Live in and enjoy the moment.

[Living For Love]

Why don't you just tell him you love him? If you are really that close, and trust eachother that way, I'm sure he will understand. You probably think he might seem a bit distant, but he might be just really confused and afraid of discovering his true identity. Like others said, don't worry about labelling yourself. But remember, I would be better if you saw him as a friend, a real one, not some kind of toy to satisfy your sexual desires. If he doesn't want to experiment, accecpt his decision. If he wants to hang out with you, or hug you, or even kiss you, then it's fine too. Just live your life with him and make sure nothing will affect your friendship.

[Trae329]

Thank you all for the advice. I've taken it into consideration and I decided to talk to him. After talking to him, he is in fact not interested in participating in the sexual experimentation anymore, and I understand that, I agree as well in a way. I believe that we are just really strong friends and things went a bit too far. Nevertheless, our friendship will always be as strong as it has been before. We are going to stay as best of friends as possible and I can really see a great person in him. He is a fantastic friend. I don't need a label. If I turn out to be gay, he said it would not change our friendship anyway. I'm just going to let things flow, and this friendship will probably stay strong for a long while. We have our fights, but best friends fight all the time. It's no big deal. Thanks everyone for your advice once again, without you all I couldn't have had the courage to step up and confront him about it.