Despot
October 2nd, 2013, 08:14 AM
I'm definetly done with people, and i am starting to go crazy. So what happend is my old middle school friends made some meet up and called everyone there from old class. Everything was fine before i came there.. then when i came its like they didn't see me as friend :/ they were all talking about something what they were doing some days ago(they were riding bikes together) and they don't contact me at all i always start conversation first with them on facebook or phone but at the end its just empty, they dont want to see me.
When i was there at playground we played football and i can tell that i was lonely there with my old friends.. its like im stranger playing with them. So then after failing to start any conversations with them(obviously they ignored me) i then when no one was looking put ring tone like my message tone and then pretended someone messaged me that i must go. How pathetic.. and then when i was leaving i heard them speaking how i was pretending and how i didn't want to talk with them.. i mean really?? I tried everything to start conversation with them but then one of them start to speak something and completly ignore me?!
I won't ever speak with them again, even if they want to talk with me.. which will never happend. I was so pissed off and that happend 2 days ago.
What happend with this friend definetly made me think of people in really bad way. So what happend is, my friend from old high school were talking about to go to gym together and we were going around town having fun and finding apropriate gym for us. Then when we went our homes we talked a bit on internet about "what gym should we pick". That was about it.. i told him to send me message what he thinks what should we do. I was waiting and waiting.. after couple of days i told him: "to what gym should we go?" He said: "ahh.. sorry my friend told me to join his gym because its kinda cheap and close to my home" Then my mind went crazy.. i wanted to swear at him like crazy and to do really bad thing when i see him.. but at the end i told him "ok its fine, i think i will go to gym on my own.. anyways have fun there"
Thats exactly what i told him. But i still dont get myself, the more im nicer to people the more bad they will treat me. He just ignored me.. didnt even tell or invite me to go with him there, and at the end im always nice friend and wish all the best to people. I told myself from now on i wont make any friend again for the rest of my life.. because 5-6 years now friend are like to me like this. I had enough.. i cannot be loved by anyone and now i understand.. so i will isolate myself from people and wont even speak with them. Thats what i had to say. I hope i will enjoy my lonely life forever.. well at some point i may crush and suicide because im going crazy as i said. There is no help for me left. All you guys/girl on this forum say to me to be strong and try to make new friends.. but how i ask u? Do i always must to start conversations? Do i always must to be nice even if they treat me bad? Well if i treat them bad and that happends rarely i get sweared at.
Anyways thanks for hearing.. im planing on when to suicide or when to do some bad things to my friends that treated me bad. Bye.
When i was there at playground we played football and i can tell that i was lonely there with my old friends.. its like im stranger playing with them. So then after failing to start any conversations with them(obviously they ignored me) i then when no one was looking put ring tone like my message tone and then pretended someone messaged me that i must go. How pathetic.. and then when i was leaving i heard them speaking how i was pretending and how i didn't want to talk with them.. i mean really?? I tried everything to start conversation with them but then one of them start to speak something and completly ignore me?!
I won't ever speak with them again, even if they want to talk with me.. which will never happend. I was so pissed off and that happend 2 days ago.
What happend with this friend definetly made me think of people in really bad way. So what happend is, my friend from old high school were talking about to go to gym together and we were going around town having fun and finding apropriate gym for us. Then when we went our homes we talked a bit on internet about "what gym should we pick". That was about it.. i told him to send me message what he thinks what should we do. I was waiting and waiting.. after couple of days i told him: "to what gym should we go?" He said: "ahh.. sorry my friend told me to join his gym because its kinda cheap and close to my home" Then my mind went crazy.. i wanted to swear at him like crazy and to do really bad thing when i see him.. but at the end i told him "ok its fine, i think i will go to gym on my own.. anyways have fun there"
Thats exactly what i told him. But i still dont get myself, the more im nicer to people the more bad they will treat me. He just ignored me.. didnt even tell or invite me to go with him there, and at the end im always nice friend and wish all the best to people. I told myself from now on i wont make any friend again for the rest of my life.. because 5-6 years now friend are like to me like this. I had enough.. i cannot be loved by anyone and now i understand.. so i will isolate myself from people and wont even speak with them. Thats what i had to say. I hope i will enjoy my lonely life forever.. well at some point i may crush and suicide because im going crazy as i said. There is no help for me left. All you guys/girl on this forum say to me to be strong and try to make new friends.. but how i ask u? Do i always must to start conversations? Do i always must to be nice even if they treat me bad? Well if i treat them bad and that happends rarely i get sweared at.
Anyways thanks for hearing.. im planing on when to suicide or when to do some bad things to my friends that treated me bad. Bye.