Depressed and confused

[ChristianBoy]

My name is Adam and I'm 13 years old. I've had depression (I'm not diagnosed with it but I'm positive I am) since about 6th grade. It really got really bad last year in 7th and is still going on... I have a great home life, nice house, and nice parents and sister. But it's mainly school, I use to have lots of friends but one by one I have found out that they weren't true friends after all. Now I'm down to only about 4 good friends but even they are starting to drift away. I've only told a couple of people about my depression because I don't want to tell other people and them see me and think of me as that "depressed kid" that they have to be nice to. My whole life feels empty and worthless. I'm not going to tell my parents or sister but I want a way out. Any ideas? Is this puberty or true depression? Please help

[ksdnfkfr]

Sounds like depression. Could be because of puberty. I know what you mean about not wanting to be the school "poster child". Have you thought about requesting some time with a school counselor? Mine's helped me a lot.

[ChristianBoy]

Sounds like depression. Could be because of puberty. I know what you mean about not wanting to be the school "poster child". Have you thought about requesting some time with a school counselor? Mine's helped me a lot.

I've thought about it but the only thing that's holding me back is that my counselor would contact my parents about it. I'm not sure if this is just with my state but the law is that if you find out about a depressed or suicidal child, you have to contact the parents.

[ksdnfkfr]

I've thought about it but the only thing that's holding me back is that my counselor would contact my parents about it. I'm not sure if this is just with my state but the law is that if you find out about a depressed or suicidal child, you have to contact the parents.

I've never had a problem with the counselor contacting my parents. The first thing he said to me is, 'everything we talk about here gets buried under this floor.' If you're talking about reporting a planned suicide attempt then yeah, but not for just discussing your feelings. Would it actually be better though if your folks didn't find out about it because you kept it hidden and bottled up, until maybe you end up doing something bad to yourself?
Going by your username and av, what about a pastor or church elder?

[ChristianBoy]

I've never had a problem with the counselor contacting my parents. The first thing he said to me is, 'everything we talk about here gets buried under this floor.' If you're talking about reporting a planned suicide attempt then yeah, but not for just discussing your feelings. Would it actually be better though if your folks didn't find out about it because you kept it hidden and bottled up, until maybe you end up doing something bad to yourself?
Going by your username and av, what about a pastor or church elder?

Ya I guess I should go to the counselor... I don't really have any suicidal thoughts or actions I'm just scared of my parents finding out because then they wouldn't be themselves around me... They would try to be gentle and treat me like a wounded bird. Trust me, I know they'd do that. And I'm probably not going to tell any of my youth pastors because they always say that anyone is welcome to talk to them about it but that they would tell our parents. Thank you though for getting me thinking... It's usually hard for me to talk about this.

[ksdnfkfr]

Ya I guess I should go to the counselor... I don't really have any suicidal thoughts or actions I'm just scared of my parents finding out because then they wouldn't be themselves around me... They would try to be gentle and treat me like a wounded bird. Trust me, I know they'd do that. And I'm probably not going to tell any of my youth pastors because they always say that anyone is welcome to talk to them about it but that they would tell our parents. Thank you though for getting me thinking... It's usually hard for me to talk about this.

I understand what you mean now, thanks for explaining it that way. These guys, either church or school are supposed to follow a confidentiality policy that they would be violating if they told anyone what you were seeing them about. Like they could get in trouble from whoever their boss is for breaking it. The one exception as far as I know is reporting a crime, like actually planned suicide attempt.

And just remember, you are not alone in this here on VT. That a lot of us have the same thing and understand what you are feeling, like you are telling our own story. The more time you spend here, the less you'll feel you have to hide and how much you have in common with others here.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Hi Adam,

sometimes puberty can make us feel different and more emotional - I dont really know what to say but for sure maybe talking to someone would help. Not sure why you say about your parents "treating you like a wounded bird"

School is mostly hard going for me - guys develop away with different interests and groups - make the most of the friends you have.

hope you feel better soon

[Living For Love]

Damn, I feel so bad when young people like you have such a hard life...

I've almost never had a period of time in my life that I would consider "100% positive". We all go through bad moments, and with 13 years old you shouldn't be going through this. But you don't need to have friends to feel happy, you just need to focus and keep in your mind that you can't let yourself sink into depression even more. I know it hurts, but I can tell you that, throughout my life, I've always managed to ignore a bit the world around me and live my life in my own bubble, trying to not think about the negative aspects.

You may not have any good friends at the moment, but believe me, there's always a way to overcome loneliness. You're not worthless, and it's not your fault if people don't give you the importance you deserve.

[ChristianBoy]

Damn, I feel so bad when young people like you have such a hard life...

I've almost never had a period of time in my life that I would consider "100% positive". We all go through bad moments, and with 13 years old you shouldn't be going through this. But you don't need to have friends to feel happy, you just need to focus and keep in your mind that you can't let yourself sink into depression even more. I know it hurts, but I can tell you that, throughout my life, I've always managed to ignore a bit the world around me and live my life in my own bubble, trying to not think about the negative aspects.

You may not have any good friends at the moment, but believe me, there's always a way to overcome loneliness. You're not worthless, and it's not your fault if people don't give you the importance you deserve.

Thanks so much... Today went great because I finally feel like I've accepted who I am and who is (and isn't) involved in my life... Hopefully I'll slip out of my depression soon. I hope you get better soon too.

[eeee]

I'm so glad to hear that.

[Despot]

All the best to you.

[thewhiteyeezus]

My name is Adam and I'm 13 years old. I've had depression (I'm not diagnosed with it but I'm positive I am) since about 6th grade. It really got really bad last year in 7th and is still going on... I have a great home life, nice house, and nice parents and sister. But it's mainly school, I use to have lots of friends but one by one I have found out that they weren't true friends after all. Now I'm down to only about 4 good friends but even they are starting to drift away. I've only told a couple of people about my depression because I don't want to tell other people and them see me and think of me as that "depressed kid" that they have to be nice to. My whole life feels empty and worthless. I'm not going to tell my parents or sister but I want a way out. Any ideas? Is this puberty or true depression? Please help

Just because you may have a good at home life doesnt mean youre not depressed, i mean anyone could have that problem. But on another note keep hanging on, life aint perfect but the best way to handle it is to just keep going and have patience, trust me i know, life used to be much worse for me mentally and its not as bad but still shitty you know, but think, if you go through these times and successfully pass them, life may turn out better hopefully for what youve been through, but if all else fails, its up to u whether you make it suck or worth ur time