Just need to get it out

[bleeding_inside]

I thought this cutting addiction was over...i have no realized its not. I started cutting last year. I just felt under stress and that i had no one. So i cut and the pain would go away. This continued through out all last year. In the summer though i thought i had finally beat my addiction bc i no longer had that urge! But lately i keep getting the urge to cut.. for no reason at all! And i don't know how to beat it. I don't want to relapse! i have been clean for 2 months and i almost relapsed tonight. I broke down, and i don't know what to do. And no on in my life knows about my addiction as well. please help i need advice desperately..

[Castle of Glass]

The addiction for cutting and self harm is never fully over. unlike other addictions, you really can't save yourself from yourself. if you are an alcoholic, you can take away the alcohol. if you are a drug addict, you can take away the drugs. but with SH, even if you take away the lighters, blades, and stuff, we have hands and stuff. But first, take a look at this thread (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748).

The thing is, you stayed/are clean for 2 months. which is great. now you need to just keep fighting those urges. listen to music, play games, read books. keep your mind distracted. Distractions are the easiest way to not cut. Also, you said that no one knows. Even though it may be hard to face, talking to a psychologist, counselor, or therapist is the best choice. Like I my self, am mostlikely going to see my counselor or school psychologist after i turn sixteen. because i really don't want to fuck up big time.

Just post here. I and others will try to help you.

[bleeding_inside]

Thank you that really helped! And im trying i really am trying i dont want to relapse so im texting friends at the moment to keep my busy.. but im just soooo afraid of myself. Which is crazy to think.. but the thing is actually 1 person did know about my cutting.It was my boy friend last year.. he found out bc we saw my wrist when my bracelets came up, and i hated him knowing, bc all he did was worry about me all day every day and always wanting to see my wrist! I dont want that! thats why im sooo afraid to tell a friend! Any advice??

[survivor]

This is gonna sound weird but because 2 of my exes already know about my cutting and they aren't as possessive now that we're broken up i confide in them. It's weird, but it has worked for me

[bleeding_inside]

ya that would make sense, but me and him dont talk at all!

[StayBeautiful33]

Tell a friend, don't deal with the struggle alone. It's very important to have support from someone especially when you feel the crushing weight of a relapse urge. When my mom found out about my cutting problem it was really hard I was babysat 24/7. At first it was a strain on our relationship but I stuck through it and now I can go to my mom everytime I have an urge. It gets easier trust me. I use coping skills like music,reading, painting. I also have tried holding an ice cube on the area where I had an urge to cut and surprisingly it helped my therapist had advised me to try it when I had first stopped cutting. Good luck and stay strong <3

[Mynick]

Thank you that really helped! And im trying i really am trying i dont want to relapse so im texting friends at the moment to keep my busy.. but im just soooo afraid of myself. Which is crazy to think.. but the thing is actually 1 person did know about my cutting.It was my boy friend last year.. he found out bc we saw my wrist when my bracelets came up, and i hated him knowing, bc all he did was worry about me all day every day and always wanting to see my wrist! I dont want that! thats why im sooo afraid to tell a friend! Any advice??
He was really worry about you. If this friend starts doing the same, tell him that he is making unconfortable and ask him to stop. People overreact when they are worried.
Stay strong you can do it :hug: