is it OK to send a birthday card to someone incarcerated? Also is this feeling weird?

[fmpro]

my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that




also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now?

[kylem1229]

You're sending a birthday card. How in the heck is that supporting a criminal? Its just saying happy birthday...

Just say happy birthday, thinking of you, waiting for her to get out of jail. Give her a short summary on how stuff is going at home/school/family.

[Mynick]

Kyle said it all plus it is your mom. She will be happy :)

[Jess]

It's not supporting a criminal if you send a birthday card. There's nothing wrong with it. Go and send her one :)

[McAK101]

There is no way that you can 'support a criminal' if you're sending them a birthday card. And it's your own mother! Send her one! Make sure to express how much you love her and miss her. It will mean the world to her.

[MartyG]

I would see absolutely nothing wrong with you sending a bd card. She will always be your mom. People make mistakes. ..she's apparently made a serious one and has to pay for it.
What if it was you who got in trouble and was in jail? Think about how much your parents continued love and support would mean to you.....

As for you opening up to her....I think its because she has shown that she's not perfect. ...that she's not just your mom but that she's also human and therefore a bit more approachable to you...less intimidating. ...
Do you get to visit her?

Marty

[NeuroTiger]

Just do it: do send her the card.
Surely,like everyone mentioned, it will mean the world to her.
It shows your love to your mum; it certainly not supporting a criminal.
Remember, we are gifted with one mother only...she's a unique figure.

[Troy35216]

you're not supporting a criminal, you're supporting your mom. geez.

[fmpro]

I would see absolutely nothing wrong with you sending a bd card. She will always be your mom. People make mistakes. ..she's apparently made a serious one and has to pay for it.
What if it was you who got in trouble and was in jail? Think about how much your parents continued love and support would mean to you.....

As for you opening up to her....I think its because she has shown that she's not perfect. ...that she's not just your mom but that she's also human and therefore a bit more approachable to you...less intimidating. ...
Do you get to visit her?

Marty



I can visit her if I want but I'm not sure if I should. I don't know if I should visit a jail, though it might be interesting

[Mob Boss]

It's your mom. Regardless of her mistakes, she's still exactly that. I'm assuming, until this particular occurrence, that she raised you your entire life. Your love for her hasn't diminished because she's behind bars and it certainly shouldn't. People make mistakes and do things they regret. And, yeah, this is a pretty paramount one that is keeping her from seeing her daughter grow up for the time she's in there, but she's still mom. Right? That hasn't changed. And even though feelings were probably hurt over it and it might have effected your respect you had for her, your love for her shouldn't falter nor your support. I've no doubt she regrets whatever it was that put her there. Let her know there's people on the outside waiting for her. That isn't supporting her criminal actions, rather supporting your mother as the person she is and not her actions.

[Abyssal Echo]

exactly this ^
do send her a card and visit if you have the oppertunity to do so.

[ImCoolBeans]

If I were in jail, no matter what for, I would probably appreciate birthday cards from my family/friends. It's a pretty lonely place and it would probably make her birthday a little more special receiving that from her daughter.