Relapse :(

[Tarannosaurus]

So I relapsed today, after a year and 2 months. I thought I was through with this, I'm so angry with myself! I thought I was strong enough but I guess not. If anyone could give advice (especially relapsers) I'd be really grateful. I've tried to resist in so many different ways I've run out of ideas.

[kylem1229]

Did you actually stop for a year and 2 months? If so that is a great progress. There are a bunch of good ideas/ways to stop over at http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748 Otherwise you can also google "Ways to stop self harm/cutting". There are thousands and thousands of suggestions to help stop. I guaranty you, out of those millions of ways, you will find one that works.

[Harley Quinn]

It happens, trust me it does. I went 327 days once then I relapsed and it broke my heart it really did. I wanted to punish myself even more because I felt ridiculously guilty about it. But, you learn that it happens and that it's okay to happen. Just pick yourself back up, it will take time but you got that far before you can get that back. Just focus on other things and make sure you distract yourself at all time. Self harm does not rule your life, remember that.

[Tarannosaurus]

Did you actually stop for a year and 2 months? If so that is a great progress. There are a bunch of good ideas/ways to stop over at http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748 Otherwise you can also google "Ways to stop self harm/cutting". There are thousands and thousands of suggestions to help stop. I guaranty you, out of those millions of ways, you will find one that works.


It happens, trust me it does. I went 327 days once then I relapsed and it broke my heart it really did. I wanted to punish myself even more because I felt ridiculously guilty about it. But, you learn that it happens and that it's okay to happen. Just pick yourself back up, it will take time but you got that far before you can get that back. Just focus on other things and make sure you distract yourself at all time. Self harm does not rule your life, remember that.

Thanks a lot both of you, this cheered me up a bit :) Hopefully I'll do better next time.

[Emily15_xoxo]

You did really good for a year! that's an accomplishment. If you could only cut once a year, even that is better then actively cutting on a regular basis, Relapses happen, it's important you accept that it happened and try for another year of no self harm.

[ksdnfkfr]

First congrats. Forget about it never happening again and then feeling like you failed to reach a basically unrealistic goal. The idea is to go as long without as possible between relapses. I've gone for over a month now, but I know it's a matter of when I cut again, not if. It will happen. I'll get swallowed up in that dark place and it will happen. And then I'll climb back out again. Maybe, hopefully, I'm wrong and I won't ever cut again, but I'm not expecting that.

[Amaryllis]

Most of the things with the greatest rewards are the hardest to achieve. Letting go of self-harm is difficult and you're strong for surviving, for wanting to give it up, for seeking help and just for being you despite all of the horrible things that've happened to you.

Recovering from self-harm requires compassion for yourself. You've endured so much, you deserve someone - yourself - to be understanding enough to know that life and recovery isn't going to be a smooth glide upwards to nirvana. Know why you want to stop and remember it. If it's that you want to give your scars a chance to fade - because believe me they do - or that you're sick of how shit you feel after the temporary relief, hold onto that.

You don't want to live the rest of your life like this, being controlled by the overwhelming obsession to hurt yourself because that isn't living. You don't deserve anger because you're not to blame, but you can control what happens from now on. This was one mess up. Everybody messes up, but the end result, the destination, is worth it. You can't let yourself be happy if you won't give your chance to be, because that's what self harm is. Escaping and avoiding the emotions, the effort and the pain it'll take to finally be whole.

Forgive yourself and next time you feel the urge, wait it out. Write in a journal, shop, read a book, sleep. Resist, rest and recover. It's hard, but it'll get easier.

[1_21Guns]

Congrats, getting over a year is a huge achievement but don't let how big of an achievement it is dishearten you and turn it into bitterness. The reality is relapse happens, unfortunately it just happens, don't let it discourage you. You haven't thrown a year away, you've just set the bar higher and you'll beat it next time, and again and again until you're completely out of the dark. Self harm is a long and difficult battle but it can be won, don't be disheartened by falling over because that's not what it's about, as long as you pick yourself back up again that's the important part, good luck love :hug3:

[Tarannosaurus]

Thanks guys this helped :hug3: