college and anxiety...

[Jman437]

So, I started college last week, and I didn't get used to it: to all the work, to all the classes, to the faster-than-light class pace. I wonder everyday if I will make it, I cry a lot, I get depressed, I feel powerless and helpless... It's so much pressure, I can't handle it, but I can't give up yet, it's only the first weeks, but what if I never get used to it? I can't give up, I will never have a decent job that'll pay my bills... And there are more reasons why I can't give up:
Making my parents proud- they are both in a job they don't like so I can have a good life in college, I have to make sure they efforts pay off, although I lack the strength to carry on.

Not giving my enemies the satisfaction- because yeah, it's always good to see the disappointment on our haters' faces.

And last, but not least, I don't know how to cope with anxiety. My brain is always fighting positive thoughts. Whenever I think "I'm gonna make it, I'm strong, I'm Goku", my brain starts bombing and swarming me with anxiety... And it's something I can't control...

I'm totally helpless and powerless, I don't know what to do...

[Ozymandias]

Jman,

A college has hundreds or thousands of students depending on how big it is. They run schedules in order to satisfy the needs of most of the students. Although, as they try their best to accustom the majority of students, there are many fresh students who are unable to adapt and accept this new pace of life. That means, it's completely natural for you to feel 'not getting used to' such a lifestyle.

I suggest you reach out to your 'College counsellor' as their only job is to solve such problems.

Exposure to college and it's opportunities will easily get rid of anxiety. There is nothing to lose in trying, right?

Job is something you don't have to worry about for the next few years. First you adapt to your college, you explore the innumerable opportunities colleges offer and then you get good grades. It will be a very simple chain effect, starting with visiting the college counsellor ASAP.

Good luck.

[Extreme586]

I think one of your biggest problems is looking at it from a "I have to do this to live" standpoint. One of the biggest frustrations for me as a senior in high school right now is the fact that I am being forced against my will to do all this extra unnecessary work that has no real benefit for me.

You might feel this way too but I think it's because your aren't necessarily looking into a job that you like or are interested in yet. Your looking at it from a money/degree standpoint rather than what YOU want to do with your life. If you strive to achieve a degree in a certain field that you want to be in and want to succeed in I feel like it will make it much easier on you in the long run.

Also it might help to note that my parents are both graduating college very very soon and they told me they had to go through a year or so of classes that they really didn't need but that the college said they did need in order to make them "well-rounded students". So that might make it a little tougher considering they are just those classes that are required just because.

Anyways, I'm sure you will adapt soon enough. If you can't handle the stress which is perfectly understandable, seek help or some type of hobby or something that can help you relieve some of the stress. Best of luck!

[Jman437]

That's the problem, my college hasn't got any counselor, I'm totally helpless, I'm such a massive pussy that not even my parents can help me, although they're giving me full emotional support...
I can't get the stress out of my head, I just can't, I feel like if I do it, everything will fall apart. I once tried getting the stress out of my head, and it almost cost me failing 10th grade...
Look, I applied to this course because I want to be a video game programmer, it's my dream, but I never realized that my course was this hard, and it's not about being hard, it's about whether or not I can do it, and is scientifically proven that I can't do hard stuff. Long story short, I'm a weak, dumb pussy who won't ever fulfill his dreams... I've been thinking about killing myself for a long time, you know... It's just that, I don't deserve to live, there are thousands of people out there who deserve to be in college WAY more than I deserve, because I'm a dumb, weak and useless pussy who will never amount to much and will be nothing to society or anyone...

[Ozymandias]

Dear Jman,

I am shocked to learn that you don't have a college counselor. As far as I know, it's illegal to not have a college counselor. Even developing countries employ college couselors!

However, I am very happy to know that your parents are giving you full emotional support. As you rightly said, thousands of people deserve to go to college although they are not able to, but don't forget that thousands of stupid rich brats who don't deserve to go to college are still able to enjoy the perks of college life.

The way I see it, you have supportive parents and they care for you. You have access to higher education.

If you can just pull some stats online, you will realize that not everyone has caring parents and fuck that, not everyone has parents and not everyone has a chance to go to college. You are one lucky guy!

And lastly, if you really were a 'dumb, weak & useless pussy', you wouldn't have the balls to acknowledge these drawbacks of life. Have you ever met a dumb person who knows that he is dumb?

Why don't you initiate some other activites to relieve stress? I was into pathetic self harm when I went through my 'dumb, weak & useless pussy' period. And then I discovered GTA, followed by Indie cinema. Best stress busters ever!

Keep in touch. Take care.

"To live is to suffer, to survive to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

[Jman437]

Dear Jman,

I am shocked to learn that you don't have a college counselor. As far as I know, it's illegal to not have a college counselor. Even developing countries employ college couselors!

However, I am very happy to know that your parents are giving you full emotional support. As you rightly said, thousands of people deserve to go to college although they are not able to, but don't forget that thousands of stupid rich brats who don't deserve to go to college are still able to enjoy the perks of college life.

The way I see it, you have supportive parents and they care for you. You have access to higher education.

If you can just pull some stats online, you will realize that not everyone has caring parents and fuck that, not everyone has parents and not everyone has a chance to go to college. You are one lucky guy!

And lastly, if you really were a 'dumb, weak & useless pussy', you wouldn't have the balls to acknowledge these drawbacks of life. Have you ever met a dumb person who knows that he is dumb?

Why don't you initiate some other activites to relieve stress? I was into pathetic self harm when I went through my 'dumb, weak & useless pussy' period. And then I discovered GTA, followed by Indie cinema. Best stress busters ever!

Keep in touch. Take care.

"To live is to suffer, to survive to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

Problem is, I don't have any free time anymore...
I've been going great this semester, but I had one test that went horribly. Although I passed, I had a not so good grade and My fair share of demotivation... Every single one of my friends had a better grade than me. Hell, I should not be competing with anyone, I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, but why can't I act that way?! Dammit, I've been like this since my freaking childhood! I haven't changed a bit! But I can't change!! Every single one of my high school mates has changed to a better person, but me? I'm still that weak freaking pussy I always was! I'm 18, I should be able to cope with this all by myself!...