just a rant. i guess.

[Castle of Glass]

I don't know if it is worth fighting any more. I am alone. everything i do is a mistake in someone's eyes, be it online or off. out of the last 30 convo's i have had with someone, they all started with me saying the first things. i sit on my computer 24/7 and people complain. if i go outside, i have nothing to do anywhere else. I am on a sports team, but i am not really wanted there. Only wanted because i am good at it. I know i am worthless and a waste, so i really don't know if it is worth fighting. Sorry for wasting your time if you read this.

[kylem1229]

You are NOT worthless. You are a human being. There are always going to be downpoints in life, just try your best. Talk to family about it, if you have a school counselor, talk to them. They are they're to help. You always have friends here to help aswell if you need us.

[Mynick]

Niilo you are bloody brilliant, you are not worthless or anything like that. Remember the guy that wrote this 'We hate the struggle of fighting the urges, but don't quit. suffer now, then live as a champion as you over came your battles.'? Follow your own advice, yes easier said than done, specially if you are feeling like shit.
You are always in the computer, so what? I do the same. Go for a walk take your cellphone or mp3 or whatever and listen to music.

[1_21Guns]

Hey Niilo stop right there! You're not a waste of space, or worthless. You're a good person, you just said yourself that you're good at the sport you do. I'm at a point now where I care little for what others consider to be my 'failures' or 'mistakes' because it's not their life, it's mine, and if I thought I was doing the right thing when I did something and I don't consider something a mistake then I won't let others drag me down telling me it's one. You can't impress everyone, as much as you may want to so try and take a step back, just forget about everyone else that's troubling you at the moment and just breathe. Do things you enjoy, if that's sitting at a computer all day hell go for it, but like Eduardo said some nice walks with some music are always good.
Do this for yourself, do this because you are strong, do this because you can get better. Fight because this war is far from over, and I know you'll win. You are always stronger than you think you are. One lost battle is not the end of the war, you can beat this and you can hold on. :hug3:

[Castle of Glass]

I don't know. I really don't. I have no motivation to do anything. yes i am good at wrestling, but i have no motivation to do it. I can't do the things i want to with out someone one yelling at me. if i spend my day on my computer my parents yell at me, if i go out side, my parents yell at me. i wish i could just listen to music, but i can't. don't have a device that can play music other than my laptop. so i really don't know.

[Blood]

Hey Niilo. You're not worthless and I hope you realize this. I don't know you very well, but I do know you're an inspirational person on VT and we value you. If your parents yell at you no matter what you do then do whatever the fuck makes you happy. Depression is hard to deal with but you'll get through it.

[Vince]

I am new to VT, so I don't know you personally, but I think anyone could benefit from an impartial opinion.

You've already been told in this thread you aren't worthless, and while that probably isn't very convincing, you really should not feel that way, or at least, you shouldn't feel bad about it. In my opinion, though, you shouldn't try to apply arbitrary terms such as "worthy" and "worthless" to yourself. Ultimately, as a human, your goal is your OWN survival and happiness. You shouldn't live and die by the opinions of others. If you are feeling inadequate, you should use that as motivation to improve yourself, not for others, not to be accepted by society, but for yourself. And you are capable of self-love. Everyone is. So long as you are, you will never be worthless.

I'm not implying you should be selfish (you could, if you wanted), but you should focus on yourself before others. If you dedicate yourself to your happiness, and achieve it, you will gain back confidence you lost, and will find others will care for you again. Humans are attracted to health, and happiness is a sign of health.

First of all, I'd suggest quitting the sports team you are on. If you aren't wanted, and don't want to be there, why waste your time? Having to subject yourself to something you don't want to do is a quick way to drain yourself emotionally. If you feel you are fulfilling an obligation by being present on the team, remember that you are most obligated to YOUR well-being, not the well-being of others or a sports team.

If you go through with that, the next step is to find something to be passionate about. Something that fulfills you and brings you happiness. I don't know you, so I don't know what that could be, but it's crucial to your recovery. Do something you enjoy on a regular basis, and you'll find yourself being happier even when you aren't doing it.

If your parents yell at you, don't feel broken up about it. I'm sure they want to help and want to do what they think is best for you, but they aren't you. Sometimes you have to ignore others' nay-saying, if possible, and go with YOUR gut feeling instead. They're probably just frustrated with your emotional condition, just as you are, and that causes them to lash out at you.

[Castle of Glass]

I am new to VT, so I don't know you personally, but I think anyone could benefit from an impartial opinion.

You've already been told in this thread you aren't worthless, and while that probably isn't very convincing, you really should not feel that way, or at least, you shouldn't feel bad about it. In my opinion, though, you shouldn't try to apply arbitrary terms such as "worthy" and "worthless" to yourself. Ultimately, as a human, your goal is your OWN survival and happiness. You shouldn't live and die by the opinions of others. If you are feeling inadequate, you should use that as motivation to improve yourself, not for others, not to be accepted by society, but for yourself. And you are capable of self-love. Everyone is. So long as you are, you will never be worthless.

I'm not implying you should be selfish (you could, if you wanted), but you should focus on yourself before others. If you dedicate yourself to your happiness, and achieve it, you will gain back confidence you lost, and will find others will care for you again. Humans are attracted to health, and happiness is a sign of health.

First of all, I'd suggest quitting the sports team you are on. If you aren't wanted, and don't want to be there, why waste your time? Having to subject yourself to something you don't want to do is a quick way to drain yourself emotionally. If you feel you are fulfilling an obligation by being present on the team, remember that you are most obligated to YOUR well-being, not the well-being of others or a sports team.

If you go through with that, the next step is to find something to be passionate about. Something that fulfills you and brings you happiness. I don't know you, so I don't know what that could be, but it's crucial to your recovery. Do something you enjoy on a regular basis, and you'll find yourself being happier even when you aren't doing it.

If your parents yell at you, don't feel broken up about it. I'm sure they want to help and want to do what they think is best for you, but they aren't you. Sometimes you have to ignore others' nay-saying, if possible, and go with YOUR gut feeling instead. They're probably just frustrated with your emotional condition, just as you are, and that causes them to lash out at you.


I really don't know how to answer to the first part, as that would lead to a never ending circle, But for the rest, i can somewhat answer.

I don't know if i can quit my sport. I wrestle, so it isn't like it is a proper team sport. Just you, your strength, and your opponent. We stand alone on the mat. Like, if it is a tournament or match, I only focus on my opponents, see what i can learn about them in their matches and then adapt, but at practice, idk.

I enjoy wrestling as some enjoy acting or singing. It is where i can prove I am strong. And i enjoy playing league of legends, but my parents don't let me play it enough to help me.

My parents don't know anything about my mental and other problems. They yell at me for the smallest of things. I put my glass a bit too close to the edge of the table, i get yelled at. anything. The lash out at me out of anything. IDK. I just want to get out of my house already.