Bisexual-ish? Gray area here... Je ne sais pas!

[Lovelife090994]

Hi, good news and odd news, no nothing bad per se just a je ne sais quoi thing...

Lately I noticed or really accepted rather that I am most likely bisexual. The hitch?
I only seem sexually attracted to girls when I have a crush on them that is serious, or am actually head-over-heels over.
With guys... I seem to be physically attracted to guys like naturally but never anything emotional. Now, I know some people that are bisexual are not 50-50 girls to guys liking ratio, but is my case possible?

Unlike a few gay guys I know, girls do not freak me out and I do not find um a female body disgusting. Honestly I may not get all, "excited" right off but my brain says, "sure I'll try it!" Not, "ew I don't want it" crush or not on the girl.

Now lately I'm trying to keep an open mind, yes I'm still Christian, yes I would love a girlfriend to go steady with but no, I would not say no to a nice, decent guy if he is okay with my beliefs. That said moving on...

I am almost certain I am bisexual or bisexualish, I feel like I'm in a gray area with either gender. I'm done refusing it! This normal? Oh and to anyone bringing my beliefs and family to mind, my family IF I TELL THEM should still love me right? I feel God loves us all and wants us to be happy and I feel the same to all people. And to me only God can judge us in the long run. As if straightness is so right, not wrong, but not the only way.

So, is this okay? Like this gray area, acceptance thing? Je ne sais pas! I don't know.

Any thoughts? Merci, thanks for reading this, be blessed, I feel happy for once!

[sqishy]

Attractions to other people can be for different reasons, such as emotional or physical attraction. Bisexuality is a general term for people who find both genders attractive, but whether emotional attraction goes in this is a grey area in itself (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190235). If you are comfortable with identifying yourself as bisexual, then go for it :).

[Saint of Sinners]

I think there are different degrees of bisexuality. It's perfectly fine. Who needs clear cut sexual orientations anyway :)

[Lovelife090994]

Thanks for the replies!

[Syvelocin]

We have terms for this, just most people don't explore the complexities of sexuality and you don't see people identifying their sexuality with such detail. But bisexual is more than sex. Each element of our attraction is separate from the other. You may love being in a relationship with one gender but you can't imagine having sex with them. Ça marche!

I don't want to put a label on you, but from what your describing that would be heteromantic homosexual (or bisexual, depends on you).

But this part is also subject to change. Sexuality is subject to change in my opinion too, but this moreso. I wasn't always so much homosexual as homoromantic, but that's definitely increased and I'd call myself homoromantic homosexual now, maybe like 5% biromantic.

[teen.jpg]

You don't have to redefine yourself every ten minutes ....

[Lovelife090994]

We have terms for this, just most people don't explore the complexities of sexuality and you don't see people identifying their sexuality with such detail. But bisexual is more than sex. Each element of our attraction is separate from the other. You may love being in a relationship with one gender but you can't imagine having sex with them. Ça marche!

I don't want to put a label on you, but from what your describing that would be heteromantic homosexual (or bisexual, depends on you).

But this part is also subject to change. Sexuality is subject to change in my opinion too, but this moreso. I wasn't always so much homosexual as homoromantic, but that's definitely increased and I'd call myself homoromantic homosexual now, maybe like 5% biromantic.

Interesting analysis... Thanks.

You don't have to redefine yourself every ten minutes ....

Not trying to. :)

[Hermes96]

i started only liking guys in a sexual way but after a few months i started to think about relations ships with guys as well. but you could be 50 / 50

[Lovelife090994]

Thanks for all the comments!

[Luminous]

Yes, of course it's normal Christopher, you can be attracted to anyone you are attracted to.

[Laquifa]

Well, if you look at sexuality like this:
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/022/a/8/stock_gradient_red_blue_by_einstud-d37scl4.jpg
With the red symbolizing one's attraction to females, and the blue for males, there is a band where the colors intersect and blend. While it's not exactly gray, it's still there.

Wait, let me use the actual gradient. The same principles apply:
http://chrischung.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Black_White_Gradient_by_Halaxega.png
Here, the gradient between the colors are WAY more noticeable, and you can see that there is a HUGE area between the two. These images are how I view sexuality, because (in my opinion) it doesn't make sense to have sexuality look like this:
http://www.mathematicalbrain.com/images/square.jpg
because sexuality isn't really something that can be strictly black and white. There's varying degrees to bisexuality, just like there's homoflexible people and heteroflexible people. You don't have to label yourself if you don't want, just be yourself (:

[Lovelife090994]

Well, if you look at sexuality like this:
image (http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/022/a/8/stock_gradient_red_blue_by_einstud-d37scl4.jpg)
With the red symbolizing one's attraction to females, and the blue for males, there is a band where the colors intersect and blend. While it's not exactly gray, it's still there.

Wait, let me use the actual gradient. The same principles apply:
image (http://chrischung.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Black_White_Gradient_by_Halaxega.png)
Here, the gradient between the colors are WAY more noticeable, and you can see that there is a HUGE area between the two. These images are how I view sexuality, because (in my opinion) it doesn't make sense to have sexuality look like this:
image (http://www.mathematicalbrain.com/images/square.jpg)
because sexuality isn't really something that can be strictly black and white. There's varying degrees to bisexuality, just like there's homoflexible people and heteroflexible people. You don't have to label yourself if you don't want, just be yourself (:

I like visuals, I'm a visual learner. I get it. I understand and agree with either gradient, I like the colored one but the gray is fine, usually that is for asexuality. I like labels even though others don't, I am a person who needs a name for something even for what I am. Sorry, I like organization and I like things to have a name if possible.

[Lovelife090994]

Yes, of course it's normal Christopher, you can be attracted to anyone you are attracted to.

Thank you dear. Jay has it as well and nicely. I appreciate your comments.

[Faolan]

Look up "fifty shades of gay" TED Talk. It's all about this.

[Lovelife090994]

Look up "fifty shades of gay" TED Talk. It's all about this.

I have seen that but I disagreed with most of it.

[remi]

The spectrum most of us talk about isn't 1 or 2 dimensional; think of it as a three dimensional graph where you could be placed anywhere or nowhere on :P

[Biscuithead13]

I think there are different degrees of bisexuality. It's perfectly fine. Who needs clear cut sexual orientations anyway :)

I want to first of all commend you, I'm gay but have often dealt with friends who are in such a gray area with their own sexuality and I let it get to me. Ive ofen read on here and heard in life that sexuality is defined by your "emotional and physical" attractions combined. Theres a couple roadblocks with that though. I have a friend who I am close with (as a friend) but we are also involved physically with each other, which is fine because its someone I know and trust, otherwise I wouldn't do it. He identifies as physically liking guys as much as girls, but only being capable of being emotionally satisfied by a girl. Fair enough. But he shows very gay tendencies and even once told me "he is beginning to accpept his bi-ness." Great! But he is such a gray area im unsure sometimes and worry about it, but we always come back to having a great friend-bond but also are involved sexually. So hes quite a gray area and I often think to myself what his label would be, but we all have to realize sexuality is SO broad.

Another situation is my own. One of my lifelong friends is a girl with a boy-like figure (she is physically a girl, just slim and self explainable) and she often said she "feels like a boy." I identify as gay and 99.9% of the time I am looking for other biologically boys who are gay. But I do occasionally find guys (that changed over to a girl) very attractive as well. I would even date one if the opportunity was right...but that doesn't neccesarily make me pansexual does it? Cuz I have no interest in people with girl-physical features (in other words I don't like girls or transformed girls.) so my point is its so gray and difficult to address sexuality cuz nothing is concrete. It honestly drives me crazy sometimes cuz I worry bout my friend and then try to look at myself and be like "well I identify as gay and don't have to worry about being a particular label because of technical terms do I?" because I know im gay and its just how I feel, but I need to accept that we are human and its ok to find any human attractive, and not let it define sexuality.

[Lovelife090994]

I want to first of all commend you, I'm gay but have often dealt with friends who are in such a gray area with their own sexuality and I let it get to me. Ive ofen read on here and heard in life that sexuality is defined by your "emotional and physical" attractions combined. Theres a couple roadblocks with that though. I have a friend who I am close with (as a friend) but we are also involved physically with each other, which is fine because its someone I know and trust, otherwise I wouldn't do it. He identifies as physically liking guys as much as girls, but only being capable of being emotionally satisfied by a girl. Fair enough. But he shows very gay tendencies and even once told me "he is beginning to accpept his bi-ness." Great! But he is such a gray area im unsure sometimes and worry about it, but we always come back to having a great friend-bond but also are involved sexually. So hes quite a gray area and I often think to myself what his label would be, but we all have to realize sexuality is SO broad.

Another situation is my own. One of my lifelong friends is a girl with a boy-like figure (she is physically a girl, just slim and self explainable) and she often said she "feels like a boy." I identify as gay and 99.9% of the time I am looking for other biologically boys who are gay. But I do occasionally find guys (that changed over to a girl) very attractive as well. I would even date one if the opportunity was right...but that doesn't neccesarily make me pansexual does it? Cuz I have no interest in people with girl-physical features (in other words I don't like girls or transformed girls.) so my point is its so gray and difficult to address sexuality cuz nothing is concrete. It honestly drives me crazy sometimes cuz I worry bout my friend and then try to look at myself and be like "well I identify as gay and don't have to worry about being a particular label because of technical terms do I?" because I know im gay and its just how I feel, but I need to accept that we are human and its ok to find any human attractive, and not let it define sexuality.

I sometimes feel pansexual but to not offend I am not and know that. Thanks for replying, your friend sounds like me only that despite my hormones sex is unwanted to me and weird and so different, I want to stay a virgin a while since I don't want to regret anything yet.?

You have some friend, I'd feel bad, being physically involved with a friend who is homosexual or not, I'd feel like I'm using them even if it isn't like that. I am bi by standard definition yet I fail to get aroused by girls and lately my interest in girls is waning but due to insecurity. Guys however can arouse me but emotionally it just isn't there, and I'd have to really like the person, I've had fantasies but I doubt anything will happen for the curiosity of me.

I feel gray, that should be a sexuality, Hi I'm Chris and I'm a Gray-area-sexual, graysexual would work but maybe that is silly and would emcompass all of humanity.. Maybe the reward system or this is good and that is not has led me to being so mixed up or my loneliness and fact of never dating but still, I know something will get more clear with time.

I have no percentage though because even it is unclear. Talk about gray right? I neither like nor dislike girls and I like guys but not emotionally and to me love is all I want regardless of genitilia even though I'd love to have a wife and kids and despite my at times avoidance and lack of sexual feelings. Oh well, gray area sexual, graysexual, bisexual-ish, that is me, and yes I may be all since if I loved them a transgendered person I could try to make our relationship work.

[Lovelife090994]

Attractions to other people can be for different reasons, such as emotional or physical attraction. Bisexuality is a general term for people who find both genders attractive, but whether emotional attraction goes in this is a grey area in itself (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190235). If you are comfortable with identifying yourself as bisexual, then go for it :).

Thanks!

[Biscuithead13]

I sometimes feel pansexual but to not offend I am not and know that. Thanks for replying, your friend sounds like me only that despite my hormones sex is unwanted to me and weird and so different, I want to stay a virgin a while since I don't want to regret anything yet.?

You have some friend, I'd feel bad, being physically involved with a friend who is homosexual or not, I'd feel like I'm using them even if it isn't like that. I am bi by standard definition yet I fail to get aroused by girls and lately my interest in girls is waning but due to insecurity. Guys however can arouse me but emotionally it just isn't there, and I'd have to really like the person, I've had fantasies but I doubt anything will happen for the curiosity of me.

I feel gray, that should be a sexuality, Hi I'm Chris and I'm a Gray-area-sexual, graysexual would work but maybe that is silly and would emcompass all of humanity.. Maybe the reward system or this is good and that is not has led me to being so mixed up or my loneliness and fact of never dating but still, I know something will get more clear with time.

I have no percentage though because even it is unclear. Talk about gray right? I neither like nor dislike girls and I like guys but not emotionally and to me love is all I want regardless of genitilia even though I'd love to have a wife and kids and despite my at times avoidance and lack of sexual feelings. Oh well, gray area sexual, graysexual, bisexual-ish, that is me, and yes I may be all since if I loved them a transgendered person I could try to make our relationship work.

Well like I said sexuality is very broad.

[Lovelife090994]

Well like I said sexuality is very broad.

Perhaps, this is why sexology is even a subject.

[Lovelife090994]

Thank you for all the comments that were given.

[Wyatt 13]

I consider myself BI but I'm not sure cuz I haven't been yet with a girl or a boy but I like both or curious about.

[Lovelife090994]

I consider myself BI but I'm not sure cuz I haven't been yet with a girl or a boy but I like both or curious about.

Same here...