Becoming a Father

[Ricky.h]

Lately my relationship with my girlfriend(3 years)
has been very intense we have sex all the probably everyday and emotionally we are very connected

so lately I've been thinking that I want to have a child!
Has anyone else had that thought? Is it normal?

[Mynick]

How old are you?
To be honest you need to ask yourself some questions:

.Are you and/or girlfriend economic stable? Do you have a decent income?
.Does she want a child?
.Would your parents approve and above all support both you?

You would need to drop college to raise your child if your parents dont support you.

[vLiinx]

It is usually a good idea to be married before you start thinking about children. Just my opinion. Because you have no idea what will happen.

[Forsakenbymyself]

How old are you?
To be honest you need to ask yourself some questions:

.Are you and/or girlfriend economic stable? Do you have a decent income?
.Does she want a child?
.Would your parents approve and above all support both you?

You would need to drop college to raise your child if your parents dont support you.

This.

Also:
- Are you mentally capable of having to look after a baby?
- would you be able, when and if needed, to solely focus on a baby's needs for extended periods of time?

[karl]

I've answered in the same way to similar questions. If you have to ask, then you have a doubt. And if you have a doubt, then it's probably better if you wait a bit until you are sure you want a child and you are capable of looking after it.
Ask yourself this! Can I give the child a better life than my parents are giving me?

[josh100]

Lately my relationship with my girlfriend(3 years)
has been very intense we have sex all the probably everyday and emotionally we are very connected

so lately I've been thinking that I want to have a child!
Has anyone else had that thought? Is it normal?

Flattered that you think any of us can give you objective advice. A big decision for you and your partner. Think about it very very carefully. A wrong decision could cost you a lot in money and emotional stress. Good luck.

[Ricky.h]

I am 16
And when my parents knew of my sexual activity they said be safe, and if you get a girl pregnant we will support you, so money isn't the problem...I feel like I can juggle a child and school.

My girlfriend has been having the thoughts too, and her parents would support her as well, but of course no one is saying go have a kid

Is it wrong to think I'm ready for a child, because I think I am!

[josh100]

I am 16
And when my parents knew of my sexual activity they said be safe, and if you get a girl pregnant we will support you, so money isn't the problem...I feel like I can juggle a child and school.

My girlfriend has been having the thoughts too, and her parents would support her as well, but of course no one is saying go have a kid

Is it wrong to think I'm ready for a child, because I think I am!

Phew! It would scare me to death. 16 is very young. What about enjoying yourself. You could be a Grandfather by the time you are 34. How would you feel about that...? Good luck with whatever you choose.

[Lost in the Echo]

P101 :arrow: Relationships & Dating
This fits better there.

[FameMonster]

I agree. You are only 16! Enjoy your childhood. You might think you are capable of taking care of a child at 16, but its a ton of work and money. I think when your parents said they would support you, I don't think they meant paying for everything for the child and raising it- they already did that. I would suggest waiting until you are at least 18 and finish high school first. Then if you are still with your g/f, then consider a child.

[Saint of Sinners]

Capable, yes. But would it really be the smartest thing to do? You have a long life ahead of you, no need to rush things.

[Jess]

You want to be a father at 16? You should probably wait a few years. Having a child is a huge responsibility. And it's best if you finish your education before you start a family.

[britishboy]

I want a child, but now? no way! theres no rush!:)

[StoppingTime]

I am 16
And when my parents knew of my sexual activity they said be safe, and if you get a girl pregnant we will support you, so money isn't the problem...I feel like I can juggle a child and school.

My girlfriend has been having the thoughts too, and her parents would support her as well, but of course no one is saying go have a kid

Is it wrong to think I'm ready for a child, because I think I am!

Prepare for incoming judgment:

Yes, it is 100%, entirely wrong for you to even consider a thought of having a child at 16.
Let's get a few things straight, shall we.

It would cost a hard working, middle class family $241,000+ to raise a child (http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/14/pf/cost-children/index.html)from the time they're born until they're 18 (and you should assume higher due to unexpected inflation and whatnot).

You're..16, and you're girlfriend can't be much older/younger than you (I hope). You'd be lucky to get a job that's paying around minimum wage…and you're just going to quit school to unnecessarily raise a child that will undoubtedly have a rather "messed up," unstable lifestyle? I think that's quite absurd to be honest with you.

Your family, unless you've got endless amounts of money coming in, can't exactly support raising a child, and you (me, or most people on this site), are nowhere near emotionally ready to handle caring for a child.


Rethink it, please.

[Luminous]

How old are you?
To be honest you need to ask yourself some questions:

.Are you and/or girlfriend economic stable? Do you have a decent income?
.Does she want a child?
.Would your parents approve and above all support both you?

You would need to drop college to raise your child if your parents dont support you.

This.

Also:
- Are you mentally capable of having to look after a baby?
- would you be able, when and if needed, to solely focus on a baby's needs for extended periods of time?
I second this. I think you should consider waiting until you're financially stable and have a home of your own.

[Ricky.h]

If I had a child...that doesn't mean I would drop out or school
And my family could financially support me
Until I get stable to do it on my own

[Jess]

You should still wait. 16 is too young.

[Southside]

Consider the economics before you make any final decesion.

[teen.jpg]

Pretty sure having a kid at 16 isn't a smart idea. If you have watched 16 and pregnant/teen mom, you'd know why.

[nklarke]

The fact is that a child is not a toy, it's not something that you want, that you have today and you can leave in 2 years. It's something that will exist usually during all your life and will depend on you for at least 18 years.

[Waleedbt]

How can you think of it at the age of 16?
I come from a well doing family who owns alot of businesses and i would never have the guts to tell my parents i want them to support my child and me and my wife ( hopefully ur thinking of that atleast ). Supporting you with career is what you should think of more than having a baby... And thats what you said, u want to be stable. And 241.000usd is nothing our days, life is much more expensive now if you want the child to have a great future and life.
My point is, think of your parents before anything, unless you make good money now, which i dont think so...Maybe?
Im 18 year old studying abroad, parents taking care of everything, but me being away made me understand how hard life is.
And honestly, im thinking of marriage after half way through my education, and when im done ill consider a child. That would make more than ready, and thinking of this, my mum got married at 16 and had me at 17, dad was 27. Marriage is way important first.

[Syvelocin]

Give the kid his best shot, okay? I think of having a kid like every day. I'm not doing it until after I get my master's degree though, at the minimum. I actually want to be forty, but waiting that long would risk my girlfriend's fertility.

Kids ruin everything, lol. They ruin lives. They're bundles of joy and they destroy your hopes and dreams. And who knows if your girl will stick by that. I've been really close to just settling down with a partner a few times, and I'm so glad I didn't because even those long-term relationships did not last like I thought they would.

[Miri]

Children are life long commitments.

My advice: Start seriously babysitting people's kids, and then ask yourself if that's what you want.

After that: Think about the costs, just to send a kid to school!! Some schools cost thousands of dollars each year, and what if you were to have twins? Or triplets? Could you take care of three newborn at once?

What if your kid were to be born with a disability or illness that requires your constant attention and thousands of dollars spent in supporting them?

[dsi411]

Yeah...not a good idea

[CharlieHorse]

You're 16?!
Don't do it. I cannot stress this enough. 16 is way too young to have to deal with a child. A human being. To take care of your own baby.

[Vocabulous]

just...no

[LouBerry]

I am 16
And when my parents knew of my sexual activity they said be safe, and if you get a girl pregnant we will support you, so money isn't the problem...I feel like I can juggle a child and school.

My girlfriend has been having the thoughts too, and her parents would support her as well, but of course no one is saying go have a kid

Is it wrong to think I'm ready for a child, because I think I am!

You. Are. Sixteen.

The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent.

Also: After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for cohabitations

So, you love this girl now. The odds of you two being together for the rest of your lives is extremely low.

Also, having a kid is going to screw up your school. Even if you can handle school and raising a child, which many people do, it's going to make things a Hell of a lot harder.

Think of that baby. Things are shitty enough out there in the world, do you really want to make things harder on a child?