Is monogamy important?

[Poisonberry]

Just wondering what the people here think on the subject of monogamy. I usually have at least 3-5 people that I'm being intimate with at a time (well, not at the same time... usually) and it works really well for me. I don't keep it an extreme secret but I don't go out of my way to let any of my lovers know about the others.

What do you think? Is monogamy important to you? How would you feel if you found out someone you were with was also sleeping with others?

[Gumleaf]

What others choose to do with their relationships, sex life etc is up to them. I'm not one to judge. However, for me I can only be with one person at a time and couldn't be with someone who has multiple people at the same time. I like the idea very much of being commited to one person and hope they are just as committed to me. Would I be hurt and offended if I found the person I was with was also with other people? Yes. It's who I am and that is one part of me that I do like.

[laurakoller0815]

hmmm thats a really serious question but very hard to answer cause its depends on society standards cultures religions we are talking about:) i think there is no valid general answer. many ppl are living the sterotype man, dad, kid. others can be married with many womens withouth having kids.. there are many ways to live together. I wont judge.

[MoonMan]

Entirely depends on the person, I would personally be hurt if I found out the person I was intimate with was sleeping with other people. Especially if I found out through someone else other than said person. But that's just me, I'm sure not everyone feels the same way. It might not even be important to the guys you're with for all we know.

[JamesSuperBoy]

hmmm thats a really serious question but very hard to answer cause its depends on society standards cultures religions we are talking about:) i think there is no valid general answer. many ppl are living the sterotype man, dad, kid. others can be married with many womens withouth having kids.. there are many ways to live together. I wont judge.

That is a good answer.

[Blood]

What others choose to do with their relationships, sex life etc is up to them. I'm not one to judge.


I agree with this. Personally, I would love to be in a polygamous relationship at some point in my life just to experience it, but I don't think that makes monogamy any less important. It really just depends on the individuals in the relationship.

[sqishy]

I see no problem with polygamy, as long as everyone involved knows that it is happening and are ok with it.

[Tarannosaurus]

^I agree with that, as long as everyone is honest and okay with it. I would probably be annoyed if someone I was going out with was seeing someone else behind my back, just because they'd be being dishonest. If they were honest about it and we'd agreed beforehand, it would be fine. With polygamy it would be easy to hurt someone if people aren't being honest.

[BuryYourFlame]

For me the distinction lies in the relationship part. I could not do a polygamous relationship, but people have definitions of relationship. I've had different people who I've slept with on more than one occasion in the same time period, but none of these were romantic relationships. It sounds pretty much the same situation as you have. If it comes to an actual romantic relationship, as I said, I don't think I could do polygamy.

[LouBerry]

It's important to me, but that doesn't mean that I think that it's the "right" way to go.

I mean whether you are being intimate with one person or seven, or even none at all, that's all your own choice, and who am I to tell anyone else what's okay or not.

I'm in an monogamous relationship, and that's what I want. I'm not really big on sex anyway, I'd rather have romance and commitment, and if Seth cheated on me, I'd be completely heartbroken. I mean, I would literally not even speak to anyone for months.

[Cygnus]

I personally like monogamies, but I think if all the partners in a polygamy are okay with it then it is okay.

[Elysium]

Depends on how or what I feel for that person. If others want to be polygamous, fine, I see no problem as long as nobody's getting hurt.

[ElliEvens]

Just wondering what the people here think on the subject of monogamy. I usually have at least 3-5 people that I'm being intimate with at a time (well, not at the same time... usually) and it works really well for me. I don't keep it an extreme secret but I don't go out of my way to let any of my lovers know about the others.

What do you think? Is monogamy important to you? How would you feel if you found out someone you were with was also sleeping with others?

Well like as long as, 1. you and everyone involved is on the same page as far as knowing like it isn't happening behind someone's back so it's like "cheating". 2. none of the relationships are like bf/gf where you both have agreed to be monogamous. 3. you are all using protection like condom not just bc but for std's so that everyone is totally safe. i'd say it's fine cause it's agreed upon by all involved. For me it isn't the multiple partners it's when it is done behind someone's back as cheating that would be the issue.

I see no problem with polygamy, as long as everyone involved knows that it is happening and are ok with it.

I don't think she's talking about true "Polygamy"? Like everyone involved with everyone else in a multi-way relationship? Are you passion? I think she means she has more then one guy at a time she hooks up with?

[Camazotz]

I guess it depends what kind of relationship you're talking about. Some people are "friends with benefits" because they're interested in the physical aspect (sex) more than the emotional commitment to a person. That's completely fine if it works for everyone. But I don't think that attitude works if you're trying to also maintain a mature, romantic relationship.

Some people want sex, some people want love, and some people want both. It doesn't really matter which you choose, and no one should judge you or your relationships if there is a mutual understanding of what each party wants. Personally, I'd prefer both, but I'm willing to do either if I find the right person.

[Eric57]

I don't necessarily think there is a "right" or "wrong" way. Monogamous relationships work for some and it doesn't for others.

When it comes to full-blown relationships, monogamy is the only way to go for me. I cannot (and will not) be in a relationship with somebody who is also seeing other people. That is not okay with me.

However, dating is another thing. Dating and being in a relationship are two different things for starters. If I am dating somebody, that means everything is fair game. I can go out with that person, as well as another person if I so choose. I don't mind that at all. If it gets to a certain point with somebody and I want to be with only them, then it is time to break it off with anybody else I might be seeing.

Although, in my opinion, I think you should always be open and honest about seeing other people, regardless of whether you are dating around or if you are in a relationship. I just think it is the courteous thing to do. However, that is just my opinion.

[jtb124680]

I think it would be hard for me if I found that she had been keeping it a secret, but you're upfront about it shouldn't be an issue

[ksdnfkfr]

I'm in my first relationship and it's still pretty new, so monogamy is important to me.