What should i do now?

[Despot]

Hi, so basicaly this is the moment where i decide my life.. yes thats right. When i was 11th grade i dropped out and now again going, but in different school. I hate going in school and from 10 days of school ive been only 3 because i cant stand school anymore. My mom is in another country,my dad in village and me and my brother live alone for 3 and half years now.. kinda ruined me.. not more social as i was and im so lazy :/. My mom yesterday told me to sign off from school today(monday) and threatend me and brother that she will not send us money for food only bills(because she sends money for us to live) She also said if we go to our dad once again she dont wanna see us again :(, me and brother usualy go to our dad at cristmas and summer holidays.. but she said if we go she dont want us back again.

I had tough childhood and everyday i was in some argument with mom and family and it was chaos.. and its hard to live when ur parents divorce and u live alone with brother. I now don't know what i want from my life, its like i wanna end my life now.. because lately im depressed and my head hurts from all this. What should i do about this? I said my mom i want to go to school but private and she said she cant pay it. I really hate people in the school and im just disgusted to go there, but my life depends on it.

Can i now to go some online learning or stuff? Cuz i can't stand people anymore, and whenever i want to do something with friends im just rejected and i rly hate it. If this will go on for more a year im going to do some bad stuff to people.. i know that will be bad but i just wanna end the life now. My dad said me if i dont like school dont go, my mom forced me to go.. And from now on i wont be able to see my dad anymore :( only to speak on phone. But when my mom said that i just wanted to say bad stuff to her and to go on village and live my life.

[kylem1229]

Unfortunately, you need school to have a future. At least in America, all the good and well paying jobs require a high school diploma. Yes it sucks, but thats life. There is always down sides in life, but it pays off. In this case, it is getting a good job. If you school has a counselor, you can talk with him/her to see if they can help, such as enrolling you on an online school. Counselors are always available for help.

And for visiting your dad, is it possible you can secretly do it? You said your mother was in another country, and your dad is in a village (Not sure if that means same country or not). If possible, there might be a way you can secretly stop over and say hi. Now im not sure how things work in Serbia, but in America we have child custody. Its where in case of a divorce, the child/teenager can choose who they want to live with, as well as who they can have contact with. So if the child/teenager wants to live with mom but visit dad, they can. (vise versa)

[Despot]

I can visit my dad, but i have family there that can tell my mom if i was there with my dad. My dad is in same country and it takes about 2 hours to travel. I can do it but ahh she will know, so i will figure out something, maybe calling him to come in city here.

Kylem can you give me an advice how can i be strong and just go to that school, i rly hate it but i don't wanna be some leftover and not be able to find a job.

I would like to go to school but not regularly... but i think its not possible cuz no one will pay me :(. Now im kinda dead inside of me, because of this current situation.

[eeee]

I have a crippling fear of one part of going to school. It has taken me 5 years to even get semi-comfortable (and even now it still drives me to near-insanity). For me, it just comes with getting used to it.