Friends with benefits

[Steve95]

Okay, I was speaking with my best friend of 8 years and we were discussing sex and stuff and we got on to the topic of friends with benefits. She asked me if I'd be cool with it and of course as most guys would I said yeah, but im starting to regret it. I love her like mad and she is like a sister to me, I would hate the idea of friends with benefits making things strange between us. Any help on what I should do would be great, thanks.

[Mynick]

If you are not comfy with the whole situation, tell her that you have changed your mind and explain her why.

[kylem1229]

If you dont want to do it, just tell her. She will probably understand.

[Harley Quinn]

Okay, I was speaking with my best friend of 8 years and we were discussing sex and stuff and we got on to the topic of friends with benefits. She asked me if I'd be cool with it and of course as most guys would I said yeah, but im starting to regret it. I love her like mad and she is like a sister to me, I would hate the idea of friends with benefits making things strange between us. Any help on what I should do would be great, thanks.

This is the issue with friends with benefits, they never really do work because someone always develops feelings or they find it weird and that can cause issues. If it's a case of you have feelings for this girl, I do think you should tell her that and don't do the whole friends with benefits thing because you'll end up getting hurt in the long run. If it's the case that you just don't want to lose the friendship, honestly, don't do it. Tell her that you can't do it and that you value the friendship more than to potentially ruin it.

[Running420]

If you really feel that way, just tell her, but if shes hot you shouldnt let it go :P

[ksdnfkfr]

If that's the way you feel about her then don't do it.

[Abyssal Echo]

seriously if you don't want to do it or you are worried it might ruin the friendship then don't do it. but, tell her you don't want to and why. if she is really your friend she'll understand.

[Saint of Sinners]

If you don't want to tell her. She should understand.

[BuryYourFlame]

I think the reason why this has worked in the past for me is because of 1) the type of person I am and the type of people I was doing it with and 2) they weren't best friends that I had known for ages. This isn't to say that there haven't been messed up times from this kind of stuff but that was multiple years ago. In the situations that worked out I also didn't have a label like 'friends with benefits', it was more just a mutual thing where we knew and agreed about what we wanted and did it from time to time. I don't know if you would benefit from not having a label or if this is really your definition of 'friends with benefits', this is just from my experience.

I can't tell you what kind of person you are and if it's going to work for you but it seems like you already have a pretty good handle on it. If you don't think it's going to work, don't go for it. There's also the added complication of her being a close friend. Try and think about it clearly, it's easy to get overrun with hormones. Is someone going to get overly attached? Are people going to get hurt if it goes sour? and what do you risk losing if it doesn't work out? You don't have to answer these if you don't want to, they're more for you to just think about.

[Poisonberry]

I don't think there's anything wrong with having FWBs, I personally have never developed feelings that caused me any problem though I have seen it happen to others. I think it's all about how in charge you are on your own emotional self. I currently have several intimate relationships going and I'm not terribly emotionally attached to any of them. I just don't think it's in my nature to be monogamous, but I will readily admit it's probably not for everyone.

[Cygnus]

Don't do it unless you are completely comfortable with it. That is all I'll say.

[Luminous]

If you're really not comfortable, tell her you spoke to soon and thought about it some more and realized you actually are uncomfortable.