SEX phobia HELPPP

[UniQue919]

I have this Phobia I guess thats what i will call it. You see not to disrepect my mom but she was a slut basically. I am so afraid of having Sex because i am afraid i will be like her. I love the idea of Sex i think its great. My mom had 7 abortions before she actually had me and my sister. Im afraid i might be as fertile as her and get pregnant.

ALSO I have such a poor self esteem i think guys wont like me because im Chubby. Im like 5' 1" DD and a size 9 jeans. I used to love being held around the waist but now i hate it cause im afarid he can feel my fat.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

If you're worried about being pregnant, use protection. ANYONE can buy condoms, you don't have to be a certain age, no one will stop you, and you can get birth control at Planned Parenthood (though of course the pill doesn't protect against STI's. Your best bet is to use a condom AND the pill, if possible). As for your self-esteem, the right guy should like you for who you are, not because of how much you weigh. If the guy has his arm around your waist, he's not thinking "wow, she's fat", he's thinking "wow, I'm lucky to be with such an awesome girl". If he's too worried about a little chubbiness, he's NOT worth it. He can go find some cookie-cutter girl if that's what he wants, all it does is free you up to find someone better.

[Gumleaf]

never feel that you will be the same as your mum. you are your own person and you can make your own decisions in life. as far as sex goes, be sure that you take precautions such as the pill and condoms, and you should be ok, however it goes without saying that there is always a risk of pregnancy. and also never be ashamed of how you look. i'm sure you look great, and any guy who thinks differently is not worth it.

[Learn2Bsmart]

Well, one thing is for certain, you might never turn out like your mom. You only become your mother if you choose that path. If you go about your life differently, you could be a totally different person then she was.

And forget about the weight thing, guys who complain about a girls weight shouldn't even be near girls. When he is holding you around the waist, the only thing he is thinking is how beautiful you are. Trust me.

Also, I've seen this in almost all responses and I have to interject. Condoms, are actually not a real good idea for a first time when you want protection. My friend told me about condoms, how they feel and all. Would you really want something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you? I don't think it would make for a very special and romantic first time for you. Just stick to the pill.

[Serenity]

Also, I've seen this in almost all responses and I have to interject. Condoms, are actually not a real good idea for a first time when you want protection. My friend told me about condoms, how they feel and all. Would you really want something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you? I don't think it would make for a very special and romantic first time for you. Just stick to the pill.

The pill doesn't protect from STDs. Would you rather have something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you, or an HIV virus?

[NextToNormal]

The pill doesn't protect from STDs. Would you rather have something made out of a sticky ruber related texture inside you, or an HIV virus?

i agree with Val.

and there is no guarentee that you will be like your mom. as long as you dont see that as what your future will be, then you will be fine.

and dont worry about what you look like. there is no thing that says you have to be a certain size in order for guys to like you. if thats what a guy is judging on, dont waste your time. trust me.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

The pill doesn't protect from STDs. Would you rather have something made out of a sticky ruber related texture inside you, or an HIV virus?

Exactly. Unless you and your partner are both tested for STD's and come up clean, and both of you can trust each other not to be fooling around with other people and getting infected, I think a condom is pretty necessary.

[byee]

I don't think what you have is a 'sex phobia'. I think you've got some issues with your mom that are affecting how you view sex. You don't respect her, so it's not surprising that you wouldn't respect that part of yourself, either. it's not about sex, it's about mom, and seeing yourself as the girl child.

I think you might need to try to seperate your mom and her behaviors from yourself and your reaction to them. One of the really hard things to do is to see yourself as seperate from your parents. You can be their kid, you could have identified with some parts of them and who they are, and still be your own person. Easier said than done, but still something to strive for.

Until then, it might be best to not confuse your own sexuality with your reactions/feelings about your mom. And until you gain some perspective, it might be best to avoid those sexual situations that might stir the pot here.

[ScotsGirl]

Also, I've seen this in almost all responses and I have to interject. Condoms, are actually not a real good idea for a first time when you want protection. My friend told me about condoms, how they feel and all. Would you really want something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you? I don't think it would make for a very special and romantic first time for you. Just stick to the pill.

Are you KIDDING me??? :eek:
Did you actually give advice NOT to wear a condom for someone who doesnt want to get pregnant and who presumably, doesnt want an STD?? Oh dear...

I seriously hope you are not having sex with anyone.
Do you realise what STDs are out there? If not, then I suggest you go and learn.
A condom can protect you from a whole lot of them, so you might want to reconsider your opinion.
Unless of course you want yellow pus leaking out of your dick.

The pill doesn't protect from STDs. Would you rather have something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you, or an HIV virus?

Exactly.

Anyway, UniQue919 I hope you listen to some of these people because they are really talking a lot of sense.
But please make sure you wear a condom whenever you have sex. You could use the pill as well which might make you feel a bit more relaxed.
Good luck with things :)
xxx

[UniQue919]

well yeah i know to wear a condom I dont think i would be able to just rely on a pill or w.e. Thanks all for the advice as to the person who said i dont respect my mom your wrong, i do respect her not her choices but as for everyhting else you said :props:

[byee]

Well, one thing is for certain, you might never turn out like your mom. You only become your mother if you choose that path. If you go about your life differently, you could be a totally different person then she was.

And forget about the weight thing, guys who complain about a girls weight shouldn't even be near girls. When he is holding you around the waist, the only thing he is thinking is how beautiful you are. Trust me.

Also, I've seen this in almost all responses and I have to interject. Condoms, are actually not a real good idea for a first time when you want protection. My friend told me about condoms, how they feel and all. Would you really want something made out of a sticky rubber related texture inside you? I don't think it would make for a very special and romantic first time for you. Just stick to the pill.

WHOA! I don;t know how I missed THAT part in there bout not using condoms! Being sexually active is a personal choice. However, not using a condom is just plain irresponsible and downright reckless.