want to, so bad...

[These.scars.are.me.]

I havent done it since 4 days before fathers day and i have been struggling so hard everyday with this. i was seeing someone at school which was helping! but now they said that my education is more important than seeing her, so i am left all alone. most people say to me, just talk to your mum. but it really isnt that easy!! i find it really hard not to and i am only stopped because of mum, if not for her i would have been doing all through the summer and thats not because she is supportive, but because she made me swear i wouldnt do it becausr she cant bear to see the scars, so AGAIN it was all turned into her. i am on this really strict diet because my weight is unhealthy, i'm not obese just a little on the large side an i want to get it sorted before its too late, so tonight mum said, Lets all have a takeout! i splurged on my calories and had a wkd so now i feel really guilty because all the work i have put in has been ruined because i have only been on this diet 2 weeks :/ i really want to cut because if all of those things combined and at the same time i dont want to because i'm worried mum will yell at me?????

[Castle of Glass]

well, if you haven't already, have you looked at this thread (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748)?

when you said "seeing someone at school" do you mean like a friend, teacher or counselor? Because if it is a person who is helping, then of course you should be allowed to see the person. I really don't know what to say about your mom, not because i don't want to help, but because i really don't know how.

As for the diet/weight loss/take out part, you can get back on track with the diet. you made a mistake, but now recover and learn from it. next time she says to have take out, tell her you want something healthier.

stay strong you can make it past this with out cutting. i know you can. :hug3:

[These.scars.are.me.]

i have just lasted so long and now i'm just at breaking point. me stopping hasnt been for me at all, its to help those around me but it makes me feel shit :/

[These.scars.are.me.]

and the someone is a volunteer who used to be a youth worker and is a fully trained councillor and i asked my head of year but he just reiterated that my education is just the most important thing for me seeing the person isnt as important?