Drawing the line between a crush and an obsession

[faceinthecrowd]

Where do you draw the line between someone you have a crush on and someone you're obsessed with?

Context:
I'm 19 and I met this girl at school back in January, but we don't talk or see each other anymore. I could tell she liked me because she would always invite me to go partying, clubbing, shopping and we would occasionally have brunch just the two of us. I felt like she was trying to get really close to me (intimately) but I kept my distance and I never flirted with her because she was in a long-distance relationship with some guy in the states. Anyways, we hung out a lot during the semester (January to May), but when school ended, we stopped seeing each other, which hurts me the most.

I've had a crush on this girl since the day I met her, and even though I haven't seen her in three months, I still think of her every single day... literally. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that there is not a single day that goes by where I don't think about her. More importantly, I often have dreams about her (nothing sexual).

Are these the typical signs of a crush, or am I obsessed with her? I'd be willing to do regrettable things just to get to hug her one last time, and I've questioned my own existence over this woman, so to say that I've had suicidal thoughts because I can't bear the idea of living without her.

[LouBerry]

I believe it's called infatuation. Which, I guess you could say is a nice in-between.

[Luminous]

I'm in a similar situation as you. I went to summer camp with a girl for two weeks last week, ever since then I think about her all the time. I haven't seen her since last summer (over a year ago) though sometimes we will chat on Facebook. Though she doesn't meet the definition of beautiful by the media, I think she is the most beautiful person in the world, even with her braces and bad back. I've made up stories and what our relationship could be like, and I dream about her. I'm not sure about obsession, because I'm not creepy about it. I think it's called- dare I say it?- love.

[faceinthecrowd]

I don't know if I'm actually in love with her, which is what infatuation refers to as far as I know, but I would do nearly anything just to be friends with her again. I'll be honest, I have a very small social network, and she makes me experience emotions I feel with no one else, if that makes sense. Maybe I'm just overly-attached, who knows. I'm not asking for her to be my girlfriend, although that's what I wanted at one point, but I really wanna reconnect. I'm really shy and I have social anxiety disoder which makes it a real challenge just to speak to someone.

But anyways, not the point. Is it normal for me to keep thinking about her to this extent?

I'm not sure about obsession, because I'm not creepy about it. I think it's called- dare I say it?- love.

I'm not a creepy person either --but then again, what is creepy?-- and I don't really know what love feels like, sadly enough. I've never had a girlfriend, which is probably the reason why I'm having difficulty trying to classify my emotions for this girl.

[conniption]

I don't know if I'm actually in love with her, which is what infatuation refers to as far as I know, but I would do nearly anything just to be friends with her again. I'll be honest, I have a very small social network, and she makes me experience emotions I feel with no one else, if that makes sense. Maybe I'm just overly-attached, who knows. I'm not asking for her to be my girlfriend, although that's what I wanted at one point, but I really wanna reconnect. I'm really shy and I have social anxiety disoder which makes it a real challenge just to speak to someone.

But anyways, not the point. Is it normal for me to keep thinking about her to this extent?

Infatuation means you admire someone very passionately for a short period of time. It's very normal. I liked the same guy for about six years straight, and I don't think I was obsessed.

[Luminous]

--but then again, what is creepy?--
That's a good point and there are different definitions. I think it's because you aren't stalking her online, you aren't just after her for a sex toy or because you can't have her. You don't find her number online and text her 'good morning' and 'good night' (happened to me for a year straight and only recently stopped, though I made the mistake of giving him my info)
every day.

[faceinthecrowd]

Infatuation means you admire someone very passionately for a short period of time. It's very normal. I liked the same guy for about six years straight, and I don't think I was obsessed.
Short period of time as in... a few weeks? It's been 3 months for me, which is still relatively short I suppose, but I feel like I'm never going to forget about her and that I'll continue to think about her on a daily basis.

That's a good point and there are different definitions. I think it's because you aren't stalking her online, you aren't just after her for a sex toy or because you can't have her. You don't find her number online and text her 'good morning' and 'good night' (happened to me for a year straight and only recently stopped, though I made the mistake of giving him my info)
every day.
She voluntarily gave me her number the day I met her, so I didn't have to worry about asking her for it. :) On a separate note though, I go on her Facebook wall pretty frequently just to see what she's up to, but I don't think that's necessarily considered stalking someone.. Either way, I don't want her for sex as you mentioned, but if we were to get to that point somehow, I wouldn't resist. ;D

[Luminous]

She voluntarily gave me her number the day I met her, so I didn't have to worry about asking her for it. :) On a separate note though, I go on her Facebook wall pretty frequently just to see what she's up to, but I don't think that's necessarily considered stalking someone.. Either way, I don't want her for sex as you mentioned, but if we were to get to that point somehow, I wouldn't resist. ;D

No, that doesn't sound creepy for me. Don't resist your feelings and just see what happens.. it doesn't sound like this is much of a negative thing to you. Have you been in contact with her at all? If not, maybe text her and say "Hey, I'm bored and just randomly found your number lying around".

[faceinthecrowd]

Have you been in contact with her at all? If not, maybe text her and say "Hey, I'm bored and just randomly found your number lying around".

No I haven't, and trying to reconnect with her is a whole different story. Just made this thread to find out if it's normal to be thinking about her this frequently.