Bisexual, not gay

[sqishy]

I have accepted myself as being gay since June 26 this year and that changed my life. But it didn't settle everything. Part of me was still asking why I am thinking I am 100% totally homosexual. So I've changed that.

When I was 10, I had a crush on a girl in school. Yes, pre-teen years can't really indicate sexuality in the teens, but it stands for something. I have the capacity to be physically and emotionally attracted towards girls, it's just VERY VERY small. I find the opposite gender very slightly attractive (VERY slightly) every 4 or 5 months. With the same gender I will find at least one person slightly physically attractive every day, one very physically attractive every week or two, and very attractive in both ways almost every month.
Strangely, the last female I found attractive in any way was made of 0s and 1s. Ellie in The Last Of Us. DAFUQ I hear you say XD . And that attraction went away after a few hours.

So what I'm saying is that I see myself as bisexual, and that seems to fit more nicely than being homosexual. Because being homosexual means that I see myself as sort of off-limits to girls. Bisexuality means I accept that I am not restricted, predominantly but not exclusively homosexual.

This will now go against my previous posts and poll answers on the topic of my sexuality, but I'll leave them. I've made too many posts to allow my OCD to get its way in making tens of adjustments.

Bisexuality does not mean equal attraction to both genders, in fact it's mostly leaned to one gender or the other. I think I am attracted 99% of the time to males and 1% to females. It's only a guess. I'm not into applying statistics to things like this.

My tally at the bottom of my signature will give you some idea of where I am at. If you want more info on it feel free to PM.

Thanks for reading!

[ksdnfkfr]

Thanks for sharing this. I've been ping ponging between gay and bi.

[James Bond]

If you're 99% attracted to the same sex, and only 1% attracted to the opposite sex, it pretty much means you're gay, not bi.

Your bi when your 60% attracted to same sex, 40% attracted to opposite sex or vise versa. You wouldn't be considered bi if you were attracted to the same sex by 90 or even 85%. It has to be close to even to be considered bi. So if you were attracted to the opposite sex by 70% and attracted to the same sex by 30%, it's pretty safe to say you're straight but curious. If your attracted to the opposite sex by 80-90%, and attracted to the same sex by 10-20%, it's safe to say that you're straight.


If you ask anyone else "Is 99% attraction to the same sex considered bisexual?" Most everyone will answer no, it's considered homosexual. Even (some) homosexuals feel the very slightest amount of attraction to girls, but they still consider themselves gay.

So what it looks like to me, is that you have a hard time accepting yourself as gay, and to compensate you just think of yourself as bi. I'm closer to bi than you, here's my percentages:

Physical attraction to guys: 60%
Physical attraction to girls: 40%
Emotional attraction to guys: 30%-40%
Emotional attraction to girls: 60%-70%
Sexual attraction to guys: 65%-75%
Sexual attraction to girls: 35%-25%

[sqishy]

If you're 99% attracted to the same sex, and only 1% attracted to the opposite sex, it pretty much means you're gay, not bi.

Your bi when your 60% attracted to same sex, 40% attracted to opposite sex or vise versa. You wouldn't be considered bi if you were attracted to the same sex by 90 or even 85%. It has to be close to even to be considered bi. So if you were attracted to the opposite sex by 70% and attracted to the same sex by 30%, it's pretty safe to say you're straight but curious. If your attracted to the opposite sex by 80-90%, and attracted to the same sex by 10-20%, it's safe to say that you're straight.


If you ask anyone else "Is 99% attraction to the same sex considered bisexual?" Most everyone will answer no, it's considered homosexual. Even (some) homosexuals feel the very slightest amount of attraction to girls, but they still consider themselves gay.

So what it looks like to me, is that you have a hard time accepting yourself as gay, and to compensate you just think of yourself as bi. I'm closer to bi than you, here's my percentages:

Physical attraction to guys: 60%
Physical attraction to girls: 40%
Emotional attraction to guys: 30%-40%
Emotional attraction to girls: 60%-70%
Sexual attraction to guys: 65%-75%
Sexual attraction to girls: 35%-25%

I am not as comfortable as self-identifying as gay as self-identifying as bisexual. With the 3 or 4 times that I have been attracted to females, that I remember well, I prefer to call myself bisexual, because the experiences that I've had with both genders has changed my life significantly.I am not exclusively homosexual.
Homosexual is more of a limiting self-identification label for me than Bisexual is.

[sqishy]

Maybe being gay and bi-curious is better

[James Bond]

I am not as comfortable as self-identifying as gay as self-identifying as bisexual. With the 3 or 4 times that I have been attracted to females, that I remember well, I prefer to call myself bisexual, because the experiences that I've had with both genders has changed my life significantly.I am not exclusively homosexual.
Homosexual is more of a limiting self-identification label for me than Bisexual is.

Fact of the matter is if you say you're 99% attracted to the same sex, you're gay.

I could say I'm comfortable calling myself straight, but it doesn't mean I am straight.

Perhaps you should consider yourself pansexual or something of that nature, instead of bi, straight or gay.

[sqishy]

Fact of the matter is if you say you're 99% attracted to the same sex, you're gay.

I could say I'm comfortable calling myself straight, but it doesn't mean I am straight.

Perhaps you should consider yourself pansexual or something of that nature, instead of bi, straight or gay.

I doubt very much I am pansexual. Gay and bi-curious, but not 100% gay.

[Tarannosaurus]

Yes, gay and bi-curious sounds about right, but don't be too worried about picking a label for yourself. Use whichever one you're comfortable with, and remember that sexuality is fluid so you could still move up or down a bit on the scale.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

That sounds about right.

I actually am bisexual and pancurious, but I just put and say bisexual usually to simplify things.

[GuardianofReason]

I'm stuck in some kind of vortex. I move from straight/curious to bisexual, to everything in between, girls turn me on and so do guys, but sometimes it leans more to one gender. I guess pubitity screws it up.

[Luminous]

If you're 99% attracted to the same sex, and only 1% attracted to the opposite sex, it pretty much means you're gay, not bi.

Your bi when your 60% attracted to same sex, 40% attracted to opposite sex or vise versa. You wouldn't be considered bi if you were attracted to the same sex by 90 or even 85%. It has to be close to even to be considered bi. So if you were attracted to the opposite sex by 70% and attracted to the same sex by 30%, it's pretty safe to say you're straight but curious. If your attracted to the opposite sex by 80-90%, and attracted to the same sex by 10-20%, it's safe to say that you're straight.


If you ask anyone else "Is 99% attraction to the same sex considered bisexual?" Most everyone will answer no, it's considered homosexual. Even (some) homosexuals feel the very slightest amount of attraction to girls, but they still consider themselves gay.

So what it looks like to me, is that you have a hard time accepting yourself as gay, and to compensate you just think of yourself as bi. I'm closer to bi than you, here's my percentages:

Physical attraction to guys: 60%
Physical attraction to girls: 40%
Emotional attraction to guys: 30%-40%
Emotional attraction to girls: 60%-70%
Sexual attraction to guys: 65%-75%
Sexual attraction to girls: 35%-25%
Honestly I don't agree with this. What if by some chance he ends up falling in love and marrying and raising a family with that 1%? There is a difference between curiousity and actually occasionally liking someone.
Besides, that's the label OP is comfortable with, why challenge it?

[Gifford]

The definition of being gay is being attracted physically to other guys AND being capable of having a romantic/emotional relationship with a guy. It also means that even though you may have a physical attraction to girls but CANNOT have an emotional/romantic relationshiip with a girl, you are definitely GAY. Both these criteria, must be met in order for you to be gay. If you meet these criteria and keep telling yourself you're str8 or bi, you're only kidding yourself.

Conversely, in order to be str8, the opposite must be true: you MUST be physically AND romantically/emotionally capable of enjoying a deep relationship where you want to commit yourself to her and want to share your life for many years to come with a woman. It's OK to have a physical attraction to guys, but there can NOT be any possibility of a romantic/emotional relationship with a guy. These criteria are what it takes to be truly str8.

Being bi means that you're physically attracted to both sexes as well as being able to have a deep emotional/romantic relationship with either sex. If you are unable to see yourself emotionally and romantically involved with EITHER sex, then you are NOT bi; you are either gay or str8.

Pretty simple. Those are the definitions. Read them several times if you need to, be painfully honest with yourself, and make your determination. Take your feelings out of it, they do not pertain. Take away what you would "like" to be, it's irrelevant. The truth is the truth.

There are thousands of guys and girls here whom you can talk to. You all have school counselors; therapists are available to help you. Generally I would NOT recommend a member of your church clergy, they are biased and do not have your best interests at heart. The only interest most of them have is in following the church's teachings. They can ruin your life. I said "can". It depends on the church and what its teachings are. With many/most of them, there is no "wigglle" room.

It is MOST important that YOU know your "truth". Once you know that and can accept that, then you can consider coming out gradually to your closest friends. As more of your friends learn the truth of your sexuality, you'll have greater numbers of true friends willing to help you in any situation.

Only you can make the determination whether to come out to your parents. Sometimes parents take it much better than you thought they would. You may have to drop a few hints and see if they pick up on them, In one parent is receptive and supportive, they can often help with the other parent. If they truly love you they will accept you. The true meaning of "love" is acceptance without judgment.

That's all I'll share on this for now. If anyone would like to contact me, please do so, I'll talk to anyone about absolutely anything. And don't think you're bothering me because you're not. I love helping guys and girls with any type of problem. If I don't have experience in that area, I'll say so. But generally I can handle most topics.

[Gifford]

I've written this post primarily for GUYS only. Girls may simply substitute genders to apply it to themselves. Sorry, that's how I wrote it, speaking as an out, gay male. I didn't want to re-write the whole thing to make it thoroughly apply to girls as well.

The definition of being gay is being attracted physically to other guys AND being capable of having a romantic/emotional relationship with a guy. It also means that even though you may have a physical attraction to girls but CANNOT have an emotional/romantic relationshiip with a girl, you are definitely GAY. Both these criteria, must be met in order for you to be gay. If you meet these criteria and keep telling yourself you're str8 or bi, you're only kidding yourself.

Conversely, in order to be str8, the opposite must be true: you MUST be physically AND romantically/emotionally capable of enjoying a deep relationship where you want to commit yourself to her and want to share your life for many years to come with a woman. It's OK to have a physical attraction to guys, but there can NOT be any possibility of a romantic/emotional relationship with a guy. These criteria are what it takes to be truly str8.

Being bi means that you're physically attracted to both sexes as well as being able to have a deep emotional/romantic relationship with either sex. If you are unable to see yourself emotionally and romantically involved with EITHER sex, then you are NOT bi; you are either gay or str8.

Pretty simple. Those are the definitions. Read them several times if you need to, be painfully honest with yourself, and make your determination. Take your feelings out of it, they do not pertain. Take away what you would "like" to be, it's irrelevant. The truth is the truth.

There are thousands of guys and girls here whom you can talk to. You all have school counselors; therapists are available to help you. Generally I would NOT recommend a member of your church clergy, they are biased and do not have your best interests at heart. The only interest most of them have is in following the church's teachings. They can ruin your life. I said "can". It depends on the church and what its teachings are. With many/most of them, there is no "wigglle" room.

It is MOST important that YOU know your "truth". Once you know that and can accept that, then you can consider coming out gradually to your closest friends. As more of your friends learn the truth of your sexuality, you'll have greater numbers of true friends willing to help you in any situation.

Only you can make the determination whether to come out to your parents. Sometimes parents take it much better than you thought they would. You may have to drop a few hints and see if they pick up on them, In one parent is receptive and supportive, they can often help with the other parent. If they truly love you they will accept you. The true meaning of "love" is acceptance without judgment.

That's all I'll share on this for now. If anyone would like to contact me, please do so, I'll talk to anyone about absolutely anything. And don't think you're bothering me because you're not. I love helping guys and girls with any type of problem. If I don't have experience in that area, I'll say so. But generally I can handle most topics.

[Harley Quinn]

This was bumped. :locked: