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View Full Version : Never had a girlfriend. Sad and Lonely.


Britanian11
September 6th, 2013, 10:54 PM
Good evening (for me, anyway). I'm sitting in my college dorm room right now, and I am very sad because I have never had a girlfriend, or even a girl friend. It is two weeks into the school year, and I have tried to talk to girls but I either can't muster the courage to speak to them, or when I do the conversation goes nowhere.

Quick recap of my life
I grew up as a mixed child (black and white) in a predominately black city. While I am mixed, I tend to identify as white because I feel I have nothing in common with the standard connotation of "black people" in the modern US society, despite having afro hair (which I hate, by the way). In addition to this, I was an intelligent nerd in a predominately black city. As a result of this, I was bullied intensely up until my freshmen year of high school. Because of all the bullying, I have little self-confidence, an inferiority complex, fear of women (they were always very mean to me) and I never feel like I belong anywhere (partly because I am mixed) For example, if I am watching Anime and happen to see myself reflected in my screen I feel as though I shouldn't be watching anime. I also grew up in a broken home, with a verbally and physically abusive mother and essentially, no father.

Since girls always avoided me, and I tried to avoid them, going into high school I had no experience with them what so ever. During high school, I tried to improve my social skills to mixed success. I had one or two female acquaintances, but never any female friends.

I don't know how to talk to them, what to talk to them about. I try reading about these things, but they just make me more upset because apparently trying to get a girlfriend is the hardest thing I male will ever do. I'll probably have my fucking PhD in Psychology before I get a women to pay attention to me.

Part of the problem is that only part of me wants a girlfriend, a person to share life with. The other half of me just wants to have sex. So part of the problem is that girls probably can sense this and avoid me.

What should I do?

STEALTHy
September 7th, 2013, 01:44 AM
To get a girlfriend you either gotta find a girl exactly like you and who understands you. Or you gotta man up and say "F!$2 the world I'm gonna grow some self confidence and get my self a girlfriend." I recommend you do some activities away from people that you know and get to know people who don't go to your college. So that way there isn't any repercussions if you mess up with a certain girl while attending college.

I don't really know your physical appearance but no matter what you look like. A girl always like a guy who has confidence, not a cocky ass whole who thinks hes better than everyone (even though some girls do) But a man who believes in himself.

I was in the same damn train as you buddy, but I went to a basic training at my local Air Force base and I put the idea into my head that I can accomplish anything. I said "Hell I just jumped off a 100 foot tower and dished out 20 minutes of gas in my system, I am a bad ass". So do things that make you feel confident in yourself. Another thing I know this sounds weird but studies have proven. If you do a thing called power postures. Then you release a chemical into your brain making you more confident. So basically when your alone just stand tall and put your arms on your hips like superman. If you do things like these, I know you will get a girlfriend. Also surround yourself with good people.

beatlemania
September 7th, 2013, 08:20 AM
Dont worry mate, we all go through tough times, if you just put on a brave face and talk to heaps and heaps of different people im sure yo will find someone ;)

Running420
September 7th, 2013, 11:44 AM
Im sorry dude, i kinda feel you, what its like not to belong anywhere...

But if you really want to get girls, you are able to work for it. Start working out, get confidence, get a job, buy the clothes ppl dig where you at, get a nice ride, and go to the club with your stacks and pick girls up. Start playing basketball or something, girls like someone good at sport.. or maby start skating?

You can also just wait for it. Just try to get on, and take your chances. This is what i would do, cause the truth is that girls aint worth it.. if you find someone you love, you can be 99% sure that she will end up breaking your heart. And believe me, there is no worse feeling in life than thinking your with the love of your life, so happy, and suddently you lose the girl that means everything to you.
Sex and feeling a girl loves you is the best in the world. But when it ends, its the worst in the world. When you tie your heart to someone, you will have to break the knot at some point, so be sure not to make the knot to tight, remember that i wish someone said that to me a few years ago..

likemike
September 7th, 2013, 12:16 PM
Hey, just be yourself. If you like anime watch some motherf*cking anime. Find a club at your college that you are interested in (coed) that way you will automaticly have something in common with every girl in there

James Bond
September 7th, 2013, 01:03 PM
There's no special trick. Just be nice to them and be sociable. First you need to get some girl-friends, then once you do that, you can get a girlfriend. You can't just ask a random girl to be your girlfriend. It's not too difficult getting girl-friends, but it can be nerve wracking getting a girlfriend. But all you must focus on now is getting some girl-friends.

This guide should help you. (http://m.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girlfriend)

NeuroTiger
September 7th, 2013, 01:08 PM
Be humble and boost your self-confidence. That's what I think girls admire and come towards you.

Britanian11
September 19th, 2013, 05:50 PM
I know I posted this awhile ago, but I'm feeling sad again. Since I posted, I've been trying to make friends with people and talk to females to little success. I have made "friends" with one girl, we get along and I can actually talk to her. But there is another girl who I liked (she's really attractive and we share a major) but she doesn't like me at all. I tried to be nice to her, and we went to Starbucks together but she doesn't like me now.

I'm a smart guy, and I work hard, and I try to be nice but I don't have any confidence, especially around females. I feel inferior and incomplete because I've never had a girlfriend, I need confidence to get a girl, and I can't feel confident until I find a girl who accepts me.

I get nervous around any attractive girl. I was just at dinner with my friends and it was cool until one of them showed up with one of his girl friends. She's pretty, and I just shut down. I couldn't even look around anymore, because I felt like she would always think I'm looking at her, and she was right in front of me so I really couldn't avoid looking at her.

Saint of Sinners
September 20th, 2013, 07:47 AM
You have to stop viewing girls as superior. They are people too, and are probably just as nervous. You make girl-friends the same way you make guy-friends, there isn't a different method or something. Just relax and be yourself. Best of luck!