I need to make a decision...

[Rainy]

I'm having a hard time here...I would love if you could help me
So I met this guy about a month ago and we have been talking and we get along really good, I started liking him until I found out that he had a girlfriend, so I decided to get that idea out of my mind..until some stuff started happening (like he randomly holding my hand for some time or giving me really long hugs) I thought it was just because he was "playing" or being extremely friendly...Like 2 weeks ago a friend told me that he likes me a lot, and he told me that he wanted to leave his girlfriend of 1 year and a couple of months (he have been wanting to leave her for some time, even before meeting me, he says that things are not working out anymore) I've never had a boyfriend before and I see this as an opportunity for me to finally have one (Im shy as hell)...the thing in all of this is that I have been talking to me and he told me he's scared of leaving her becase she cuts and have a lot of troubles in her family..plus she tells him how much she loves him and that she have never loved someone that much...I feel terrible..because she doesnt deserve this happening to her...and he says that he doesnt want to hurt anyone...So yeah, I really really like him...and I know that If I say something I'll just put more pressure in his shoulders...:( I need help

[Blood]

If he has a girlfriend, he's taken. Don't even bother because that's just going to be a shitload of drama.

[byee]

Rainy, just based on his description of things, he doesnt so much have a girlfriend as he does an obligation. The love there is gone, replaced with her dependency on him. That's complicated by her cutting, of course, as the stress caused by a break up can lead to more of that.

The solution here is for him to tell some adult...his parents, her parents, a school guidance counselor...so she can get the help she needs, and if she already has that, for her therapist to be aware of the break up step in there and take care of her, not him.

[Living For Love]

You need to tell the guy that you don't want to be the reason of the breaking up. If things were already not working for them both, and if he leaves her, so it's seems ok to me, but if he starts to date you and treat you like his girlfriend right after breaking up with her, that can be suspicious and eventually leads to another problems. You need to make sure you are the less involved possible in their breaking up. And yes, the girl obviously needs some kind of terapy for her problems.

[Rainy]

Rainy, just based on his description of things, he doesnt so much have a girlfriend as he does an obligation. The love there is gone, replaced with her dependency on him. That's complicated by her cutting, of course, as the stress caused by a break up can lead to more of that.

The solution here is for him to tell some adult...his parents, her parents, a school guidance counselor...so she can get the help she needs, and if she already has that, for her therapist to be aware of the break up step in there and take care of her, not him.

You need to tell the guy that you don't want to be the reason of the breaking up. If things were already not working for them both, and if he leaves her, so it's seems ok to me, but if he starts to date you and treat you like his girlfriend right after breaking up with her, that can be suspicious and eventually leads to another problems. You need to make sure you are the less involved possible in their breaking up. And yes, the girl obviously needs some kind of terapy for her problems.

Well, I told him all this things and he said that he agreed, he told her to get a therapist before, but she wont get one because she thinks she doesn't need one, he wont change his mind about leaving her, he doesn't love her anymore, he will wait till classes starts so she can be with her friends when it happens so they can support her

[byee]

TS, not to repeat myself here, but friends are not not a substitute for professional help, cutting is very dangerous. If she won't go on her own accord, the her friends should tell an adult what she's been doing so they can intervene.

It's OK for him to break up with her and it's Ok for you to date him, but given her fragile state, there just needs to be some adults involved here to address what she really needs, which is more than her friends (of either gender) can provide.