Why are poeple so cruel?

[Maud-Dib]

First off I have never posted here before

Here is some background

I am 15
male
So sad it defies description


So here it goes, please don't be jerks to me ok?

I am 15 years old, when I was even younger I was a pretty goofy kid, youngest of four big ass age gap between my brothers and I, I had thick glasses at age 6 and was pretty much like I said goofy looking

Puberty hit and I grew and got some contacts, got a real haircut and some better clothes but I am still an "Outsider" at school, I eat lunch alone and pretty much always have. I have been labeled a dweeb, nerd, geek whatever I have heard them all.

I go to a private school and this year we went back in min-August which sucked because I get treated so bad in school summer is my only real time to know some peace.

Two weeks ago a moderately popular kid was in the library and I saw he was having trouble with a report he was working on (more along the lines of I heard him since he was muttering and cursing while doing it), I figured this might be a chance to make a friend at long last so I went over and asked if he needed a hand, he shocked me by saying yes and saying "Dude, thanks man I'm lost"

So I spent several days after school in the library helping him and when he turned it in he got a B+ (I would not do it FOR him but did help a lot)

So he started talking to me in the hall between classes and being pretty damn cool to me which made me happy so far so good right?

Well last Friday he asked if I wanted to come to the movies with he and his friends and hang out after, I was stoked

We went to the movies about 8 of us and I was as happy as I could be, after the movie he took me aside and told me that one of the girls in the group thought I was kinda cute (I am cute not handsome but no troll either)

He asked if I was interested and of course I said yes, so he said he would introduce us, he took me over and introduced me to her and we started talking, after a little while I screwed up enough nerve to ask her if she wanted to go out sometime, this is when it went bad

She started laughing right in my face and said "hell no" and it was then that everyone started laughing at me and throwing their garbage at me yelling "Fuck off geek" I turned to the person that I thought was my friend and he was laughing harder than them all and when he saw me looking at him he said "Did you really think I wanted to hang out with a little shit like you, are you fucking kidding" they then jumped in their car and left me at outside the theater.

I walked 6 miles back home because I did not want to call my parents and be humiliated any further

Yesterday i went to school and everyone was laughing at me and pointing and calling me a dumbass, it was so bad I pretended to be sick today so I would not have to see them today but that's only a temp. fix

So my question is

What do i do?, I'm so freaking lonely and have nobody to talk to I literally don't have a friend in the world.

Bottom line here peole, I feel like I should just give up

[Harley Quinn]

P101 :arrow: Family and Friends, you'll get better responses there.

[Lost in the Echo]

It's best to just move on and forget about it. That guy, the girl, and the others are just fucking dicks. You helped him out, as a result, he got a good grade on his report. That would have never happened if you didn't help him. That just shows what kind of person he is. He would have failed that report, if not for you.
You're better than him, don't let assholes like him bring you down.
Besides, the "geeks" and "nerds" are the ones who usually end up successful in life. And the stuck-up "cool" and "popular" kids wind up with shitty low-paying jobs, and/or become junkies.

Don't let this bother you, because you will find a good friend. But, I'd highly suggest you stay away from those who are "popular", because most of them are just fucking pricks.

[TommyTom]

Ignore them they are just idiots and douchebags u are better than them since you are a Kind Person :)

[Maud-Dib]

Its easy to say ignore them but walking down the halls at school is like running through a circle of hell, everyone knows what happened now and I am official the school joke

I just cannot face going back there

[byee]

This is a really bad story, I am so sorry for you! FWIW, you write very well, there's a vividness that's, well, in this instance, a bit chilling.

Here's what I do: I'd approach that guy...the one who you helped out of the jam he was in...and remind him of that, and let him know that you think it's really awful that he turned on you the way he did. Then, thank him for showing you now what a scum bag he really is before you really become a friend of his. Glare at him, make sure you look directly into his eyes as you say this, then walk away.

People can be cruel, and it hurts even more when you really need them to be otherwise. Try not to personalize this too much, it was more a reflection of "Group dynamics", you know...new behavior based on the need to be accepted by the group than any real insight on their part. You did a good thing there by helping another person in need, and he missed the opportunity to reciprocate. The next one won't, keep looking.

[Maud-Dib]

Thanks for the compliment, I want to be study creative writing and literature in college in the hopes of bei9ng a writer one day.

As to walking up to him, well he has me by about three inches and about 40 pounds and I'm pretty sure he would just kick the ever loving shit out of me if I did that which would only make things worse.

[ugaboy]

Chris - you dont have to really walk up to this douch-bag. Just let him know how you feel, by how you act to him. I would find a time to remind him that I helped him, and then leave it at that. Just walk away, knowing that you did the manly thing by helping a classmate in need. If he cant understand that - f him.

[conniption]

What the fuck. Who does this to a person? They're just a bunch of immature, scummy asswipes. The best you can do is act like you could care less about what they think, easier said than done, I know. You don't want to be around people like that anyway, what they did was despicable. You sound like a nice person and I'm sure you'll find your own group of friends one day.

[James Bond]

Give it time, you're still young. Try joining new groups, like theatre or a language club. If HS doesn't get better. College is 20x better. College students are way more accepting, and way more mature than HSers.

[Its Pretty]

Obviously if he was having trouble with a high school assignment then he wasn't very smart, hmm? It sounds like it was set up. Maybe they just don't or can't understand how to treat other humans with respect. You'd be surprised how many idiots make it through the world through the process of socialization. People that shouldn't. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but take care too avoid idiots in the future, k? Remember, as humans it's the smartest people that lead the pack, not the tallest or the easiest on the eyes. Remember that.

[byee]

Chris, you have to obviously calibrate your response based on an accurate assessment of his reaction, and if you think he'll hit you if you talk with him about this, then obviously dont talk with him. But will he really do that? Being a bit taller doesnt mean that people resort to violence if they hear something they don't like..yet they also know to be true. This guy's behavior....his utter betrayal of you who helped him in a time of need just begs to be highlighted for him.

It's bad enough to be betrayed and humiliated. One of the ways we deal with that is to confront the source..you cant prevent people from hurting you or just being plain jerks, but you can let them know that. Especially in situations that are so clearly inappropriate and abusive.

[JamesSuperBoy]

I guess you gotta think a bit before you ask a girl out -

[EddietheZombie]

Personally im similar, but i get along with everyone and at the same time im anti social. I would have beat the shit out of him for acting like an ass.

[Poisonberry]

Why are people cruel? Because they can be. It sucks, but there it is. I'm a private school kid too and my friends are exactly the type to do what you said so maybe be careful trusting anything I say, it could be a setup...

What do i do?, I'm so freaking lonely and have nobody to talk to I literally don't have a friend in the world.

Bottom line here peole, I feel like I should just give up

If you go to a private school maybe see about changing to a public school or a different private one. I know it's hard to ignore them, but if you can't change schools that's really your only option. I'm sure there are plenty of others that don't look down on you for what happened, so you don't really need to be friendless, just seek out those others.



Besides, the "geeks" and "nerds" are the ones who usually end up successful in life. And the stuck-up "cool" and "popular" kids wind up with shitty low-paying jobs, and/or become junkies.

Don't let this bother you, because you will find a good friend. But, I'd highly suggest you stay away from those who are "popular", because most of them are just fucking pricks.

Maybe in public schools, not so much in private schools. Except for the junkie part, that still happens sometimes, thank god for rehab.

But yeah, this is pretty much true, I'm sure I'm a "fucking prick" all the time and don't even know it.*


Chris - you dont have to really walk up to this douch-bag. Just let him know how you feel, by how you act to him. I would find a time to remind him that I helped him, and then leave it at that. Just walk away, knowing that you did the manly thing by helping a classmate in need. If he cant understand that - f him.

This is pointless, don't bother, he won't care. And, if you didn't like how the last interaction made you feel this one won't make you feel any better.


You sound like a nice person and I'm sure you'll find your own group of friends one day.

Yes, you do sound like a nice person. This pretty much disqualifies you from ever being popular, it's a lot harder than it looks. The good news is there are people that will be nice to you and be your friend. You shouldn't not ever trust anyone again because of this, just make sure you know who you're dealing with in the future. This was a hard lesson, but if you learn from it, it may have not been for nothing.


Remember, as humans it's the smartest people that lead the pack, not the tallest or the easiest on the eyes. Remember that.

LOL, why would you think that? With the odd exception like a Bill Gates, most of the successful people are the beautiful, popular, and rich. From politicians to entertainment, it's not the smartest people that are the most successful, not even close.


* After a week or so reading this forum I'm starting to pick up some common themes. How the popular kids are all dicks is one of them. How terrible it is to be a loner or outsider or confused about your sexual identity is another.

Ok, here's some news. Being one of the popular kids isn't simple. It's not just a matter of having the right clothes and the right car and everything just falls into place and life is easy. It's a lot of work and you can be ejected from the clique very easily. I'm not saying that what happened here was ok, not at all, but clearly the OP was pretty excited to be granted access to this world. I bet a lot of the posters here would be. Rejection sucks, and the way this was done sucks, but there's maybe more to this than any of you picked up on and maybe I'm seeing it because, for better or worse, these are my people. I don't know what the perfect response would have been, but in the right hands this "joke" could have been deflected and the OP would have actually been accepted into the tribe, at least on a trial basis. The fact that the OP was in no way prepared for this is why it ended the way it did. But I have seen both boys and girls that were able to pass through this sort of hazing and join the clique. Ok, so you're still saying how it sucks and it's a shitty thing to do. That's one way to look at it. But what about all the posters here that are LGBT and have their own rites of passage that others must endure to be allowed to be their friend? If you can't see the parallels you're either too wrapped up in your own agenda to see it, or you're just being willfully ignorant. Every social group has gatekeepers, some of the posters here apparently see their own kind as acceptable and others as unacceptable.

I bet if there was a VT convention you'd all form up into groups and I'd be the weirdo outsider, because I'm not sad, and I don't hurt myself, and I don't think about interesting ways to kill myself to send a message about my pain.

This has already gone way past what I expect anyone will read so I'll just stop, but if anyone wants to discuss this social dynamic and is actually open minded enough to have the conversation hit me up. I'm not really the asshole you'd all think I am if you met me in RL.

And Chris, if you're still reading this, I can pretty much assure you that everyone there didn't think what they did to you was ok. I don't know if that helps but I thought I'd tell you anyway.

[Running420]

Heres my advice friend: Fuck that douch up!

As i see it, you cant get any lower at your school, your at the rock bottom. You have nothing to lose. So why not try to REALLY do something about it.

Heres what i would do if i was you.. i would buy a pepper spray (if you cant do that just buy a hair spray with alot of chemicals in it). Then you choose your weapon, something that will teach him a lesson but ofc not completely destroy his cranium. Maby a small baseball bat or something. Then at lunch time you go to the douch you helped, and tell him what an idiot he is. When he starts to make fun of you and so, you take up your bat and knock some sence into him..
Just try to be all cool about it, not all whining, you want ppl to respect you so try to be cool and cold about it. I dont know what will happen, but i guess it wont end worse than it already is eh? And you say everybody knows about all of this, so im sure your parents and the teachers will understand.

[Cygnus]

I myself would beat him up, then again, I myself am able to, but maybe you are not, you could pepper spray him and then punch him to the ground if you feel physically weak compared to him, but you have to make him pay somehow, make him feel sorry that he did that to you.

[Poisonberry]

Heres my advice friend: Fuck that douch up!

....

I dont know what will happen, but i guess it wont end worse than it already is eh? And you say everybody knows about all of this, so im sure your parents and the teachers will understand.

Um... arrested for assault? That might be worse. Expelled from school. Yeah, probably worse. Parents and teachers understanding? LOL. Right.


I myself would beat him up, then again, I myself am able to, but maybe you are not, you could pepper spray him and then punch him to the ground if you feel physically weak compared to him, but you have to make him pay somehow, make him feel sorry that he did that to you.

You guys are such neanderthals. When did 2 wrongs start making something right? Have you ever seen the loser kid (sorry OP, just the perspective of the situation) take on the popular kid and come out the winner in the end? And, no, John Hughes movies don't count.

There is absolutely nothing good that can come from a physical altercation for the OP. Even if he feels temporarily better about himself he's not going to be in high school forever, but he will have his parents forever. From his "walked home" part of the story I don't think his parents know, they will after he has to explain the assault. And getting expelled for fighting will make it near impossible to get into another private school and even public schools don't like taking on disciplinary cases.

Hey OP, how's military school sound? That's where you're headed if you follow the advice above.

[Running420]

Wtf are you talking about, why is it wrong to react to this fucked way he has been threated?

And dont tell me that he will get expelled for a little fight, but nothing happens for this extreme psychic terror at the OP? But if us is that twisted, then i guess you will have to track down the target outside school..

It sucks being scared all the time, so i say, do what you can do to change that, even if you have to do something drastic and take some chances, cause you have SO MUCH to win and not really anything to lose, you feel me?

[Poisonberry]

Wtf are you talking about, why is it wrong to react to this fucked way he has been threated?

And dont tell me that he will get expelled for a little fight, but nothing happens for this extreme psychic terror at the OP? But if us is that twisted, then i guess you will have to track down the target outside school..

It sucks being scared all the time, so i say, do what you can do to change that, even if you have to do something drastic and take some chances, cause you have SO MUCH to win and not really anything to lose, you feel me?

React? Yes, he has reacted. Assault someone? Not a good idea.

I don't know the rules at his school, but with most private schools there is a waiting list to get in, a fight is all the reason in the world to get rid of a student. I wouldn't call what happened to him "extreme psychic terror" more like embarrassment and humiliation. I'm not really sure what you think he's "scared of all the time" unless it's being judged by his peers, but that happens to all of us, all the time.

In reality there is nothing to win and a lot to lose. Sure the police records might be sealed when he turns 18 but the disciplinary record at the school will be available to prospective colleges/universities. What you're suggesting could be an excellent opportunity to throw away a promising future.

[ToxicApple69]

That story is cruel indeed, you should finish freshman year to get a taste of the real world.

Afterwards go into homeschool, public school is a bourgeoisie popularity contest.

Also I had friends say a girl digs me when they don't like me at all, and it just leads to an embarrassing rejection.

However, we are not cruel. I have had my share of embarrassing friends, but I am no backstabber, I stick up for the little guy, always.

You are among friends now, welcome to Virtual teen.

[Poisonberry]

Afterwards go into homeschool,

I doubt this is really an option. Most people don't have the time or skill necessary to homeschool their kids.

[GypsyGirl]

If you want to keep trying with school I can't think of any good advice except to bear with it as detached from the reality as possible.

In my opinion, however, you should try getting a GED as soon as possible and forgo the whole high school experience. After than you can try again with a fresh start at a community college or maybe just chill with a job for a while and become independent. Write books or stories, maybe articles. You have some talent writing based on how you described the cruel things those kids did to you.

[Body odah Man]

This is a really sad story :(
Personally I feel that those kids are utter dicks yet sadly people are mostly like this. I myself have suffered from this alot due to bad rumors and social unpopularity so I'm sorry for you. I don't really have advice for you tho but you do have my support and compassion. good luck bro

[SkootuGurl]

Wtf are you talking about, why is it wrong to react to this fucked way he has been threated?

Because it's not reacting, it's over-reacting. What they're doing is not right but attacking someone with a chemical weapon and then continuing to assault them is both stupid and completely illegal.

Should he cause lasting harm in doing so (and people have died from being subjected to pepper spray), he won't just get expelled, he will face charges of assault with a weapon.

[Running420]

React? Yes, he has reacted. Assault someone? Not a good idea.

I don't know the rules at his school, but with most private schools there is a waiting list to get in, a fight is all the reason in the world to get rid of a student. I wouldn't call what happened to him "extreme psychic terror" more like embarrassment and humiliation. I'm not really sure what you think he's "scared of all the time" unless it's being judged by his peers, but that happens to all of us, all the time.

In reality there is nothing to win and a lot to lose. Sure the police records might be sealed when he turns 18 but the disciplinary record at the school will be available to prospective colleges/universities. What you're suggesting could be an excellent opportunity to throw away a promising future.

Girl get real... How come these bullies or whatever dont get kicked out, but the lonely bullied kid that finally gets enough gets thrown out just like that? I really dont think so, i believe OP have pretty good grades and so, teachers probably feal sorry for him.
But as i said if the US really is that twisted, take care of business outside school..

You say hes not scared? Hes the damn loner, says he always eaten lunch alone, of course hes scared, doesnt have a single friend, man not to be mean or anything but of course hes scared and he needs to do something about his life... Or he could of course take hit after hit, and become a professor working 24/7 and making stakes of money, but what good is that if you dont have the confidence to find a girl or even a friend?

Because it's not reacting, it's over-reacting. What they're doing is not right but attacking someone with a chemical weapon and then continuing to assault them is both stupid and completely illegal.

Should he cause lasting harm in doing so (and people have died from being subjected to pepper spray), he won't just get expelled, he will face charges of assault with a weapon.

Noo thats not what im talking about, read.... Im not talking about totally destroying everyone, just knock a little sence into the kid that played him, the pepper spray is for selfprotection only, as i can imagine those douches to take 'revenge'. And if he just take a hit, and then pepper them all down, then its pure self defence, and he wont go to court :)

[Poisonberry]

Girl get real... How come these bullies or whatever dont get kicked out, but the lonely bullied kid that finally gets enough gets thrown out just like that? I really dont think so, i believe OP have pretty good grades and so, teachers probably feal sorry for him.
But as i said if the US really is that twisted, take care of business outside school..

You say hes not scared? Hes the damn loner, says he always eaten lunch alone, of course hes scared, doesnt have a single friend, man not to be mean or anything but of course hes scared and he needs to do something about his life... Or he could of course take hit after hit, and become a professor working 24/7 and making stakes of money, but what good is that if you dont have the confidence to find a girl or even a friend?

How come they don't get in trouble? Because there's no laws or rules against being a jerk.

It won't matter who feels sorry for him if he assaults someone, that's just not how things work.

Even if you do something outside of school it's still illegal to physically attack someone. And being arrested for assault will still get you tossed out of most private schools.

I don't read anything that should make him scared. Lonely sure. Pissed off sure. I think I'll leave it to the OP to speak about being scared and not just take your word for it, as you don't seem to understand much about these matters.

Get real? Yeah, try it on for size and see what you think.

[MoonMan]

No you shouldn't go caveman and try to physically harm them. Find friends that you actually like and can relate to, as Ms. Social Darwinism over here pointed out, not everyone is cut out to be popular. If your aim really is to become popular instead of finding quality friends who will be there for you, then you're a fucking idiot and stuff like this will keep happening to you. Simple as that. Believe of not, your past reputation can have a lot to do with your social ranking at school. If you're widely known as the loner geek, it's highly unlikely you're going to do a fucking 180 and be the next heartthrob popular guy due to one movie date (probably one of the reasons why your's failed miserably). Take a hint dude, get your priorities straight, you'll be fine.

[Body odah Man]

@Poisonberry and MoonMan
As entertaining as your arguing undoubtedly is, it really doesn't bear much relevance to the OP's dilemma.
@OP
I agree with the 'beat em up thing.' They're jerks and you've got to show them that they can't just stomp around on you all the time.

[MoonMan]

@Poisonberry and MoonMan
As entertaining as your arguing undoubtedly is, it really doesn't bear much relevance to the OP's dilemma.
@OP
I agree with the 'beat em up thing.' They're jerks and you've got to show them that they can't just stomp around on you all the time.

And what if OP gets beaten up instead? Or what if he does, in fact, beat them up and gets in serious trouble for it? It wouldn't solve anything, and it isn't defending himself since he would be the one looking for trouble. If he was to seriously go and try to fight with one of them he would most likely have to deal with the whole pack and get his face stomped in while some other assholes record it and put it on YouTube. This is a much more likely scenario than him beating them up and being forever free of their torment. It's not worth it.

[Body odah Man]

And what if OP gets beaten up instead? Or what if he does, in fact, beat them up and gets in serious trouble for it? It wouldn't solve anything, and it isn't defending himself since he would be the one looking for trouble. If he was to seriously go and try to fight with one of them he would most likely have to deal with the whole pack and get his face stomped in while some other assholes record it and put it on YouTube. This is a much more likely scenario than him beating them up and being forever free of their torment. It's not worth it.

Oh yeah forgot about that. No you're right it's a bad idea :(
Still it really does suck to be publicly humiliated and for people to spread rumors about you and tease you. Wish there was a surefire strategy for him

[MoonMan]

Oh yeah forgot about that. No you're right it's a bad idea :(
Still it really does suck to be publicly humiliated and for people to spread rumors about you and tease you. Wish there was a surefire strategy for him

It's a hard situation, but all you need to get by are a few quality friends here and there to support and be there for you, which is something OP is lacking and seriously needs to consider before trying to hang with the popular crowd. They don't have to be popular or pretty, they just have to be good friends whom OP enjoys to be around, and I'm sure he could find some if he really tried to.

[charliebaltimore]

First off I have never posted here before

Here is some background

I am 15
male
So sad it defies description


So here it goes, please don't be jerks to me ok?

I am 15 years old, when I was even younger I was a pretty goofy kid, youngest of four big ass age gap between my brothers and I, I had thick glasses at age 6 and was pretty much like I said goofy looking

Puberty hit and I grew and got some contacts, got a real haircut and some better clothes but I am still an "Outsider" at school, I eat lunch alone and pretty much always have. I have been labeled a dweeb, nerd, geek whatever I have heard them all.

I go to a private school and this year we went back in min-August which sucked because I get treated so bad in school summer is my only real time to know some peace.

Two weeks ago a moderately popular kid was in the library and I saw he was having trouble with a report he was working on (more along the lines of I heard him since he was muttering and cursing while doing it), I figured this might be a chance to make a friend at long last so I went over and asked if he needed a hand, he shocked me by saying yes and saying "Dude, thanks man I'm lost"

So I spent several days after school in the library helping him and when he turned it in he got a B+ (I would not do it FOR him but did help a lot)

So he started talking to me in the hall between classes and being pretty damn cool to me which made me happy so far so good right?

Well last Friday he asked if I wanted to come to the movies with he and his friends and hang out after, I was stoked

We went to the movies about 8 of us and I was as happy as I could be, after the movie he took me aside and told me that one of the girls in the group thought I was kinda cute (I am cute not handsome but no troll either)

He asked if I was interested and of course I said yes, so he said he would introduce us, he took me over and introduced me to her and we started talking, after a little while I screwed up enough nerve to ask her if she wanted to go out sometime, this is when it went bad

She started laughing right in my face and said "hell no" and it was then that everyone started laughing at me and throwing their garbage at me yelling "Fuck off geek" I turned to the person that I thought was my friend and he was laughing harder than them all and when he saw me looking at him he said "Did you really think I wanted to hang out with a little shit like you, are you fucking kidding" they then jumped in their car and left me at outside the theater.

I walked 6 miles back home because I did not want to call my parents and be humiliated any further

Yesterday i went to school and everyone was laughing at me and pointing and calling me a dumbass, it was so bad I pretended to be sick today so I would not have to see them today but that's only a temp. fix

So my question is

What do i do?, I'm so freaking lonely and have nobody to talk to I literally don't have a friend in the world.

Bottom line here peole, I feel like I should just give up

i know how you feel, I'm not massively popular either.
Just remember, you're the better person - you're empathy led you to help someone that needed it most, and he turned his back on you after getting what he wanted.
It's not worth "giving up" because of what happened, it never is.
Keep fighting and, one day, you'll get to where you want to be in life :)x

[Body odah Man]

So OP, any luck?

[The Outlier]

If you want to defeat them/him. You need to show him/them that they don't affect you. Be stoic. I know it is easier said than done, but you can fake it until you make it. Understand that you are above all this. Also, be kind to him. Showing kindness can be the greatest form of humiliation for a bully.

[Body odah Man]

@^
Are you sure?